Oh Crap! It's here...

Yes people that dreaded "S" word has arrived. I dare not speak it's name but I think you know what I am talking about...
I had my college orientation today and it wasn't exactly horrible but I was not prepared to go to that place that starts with an "S" and I was not prepared to play games, or have my picture taken twice or run into ex number 2 a bunch of uncomfortable times...big campus my ass...
But I did run into a few high school friends and made some new ones. (A girl who I shall call)B and I spent most of the day together because we are in the same program and I met her in Telus a little while ago. We were bored and felt lame playing games called "Ice breakers" so we buggered off. We told the coordinator that we were going to the Financial Aid office .... like hell...
Although I did get my OSAP sorted out and my Student ID card. I also checked out the bookstore which is incredibly dirty and slowly running down. (So tomorrow I get my books.)
The only bonus to the "Ice breakers" were that I met another girl who likes to party and a really cute guitar player asked me out. (Cocky little devil)Yep, not only is he cute but he plays guitar ...
Question: Why is it that a guy can look totally ugly but then the minute he says he's a guitar player he's hot?
Answer: Unknown.
Yep the guitar player said we should go for coffee and I said yes...but there's one small problem with hot guitar player, he has the same name as my first ex boyfriend and I'm such a weirdo that it will drive me crazy. But we'll see what happens.
After orientation B's boyfriend drove us back to her apartment, where we didn't do much
So that place that starts with an "S" might not be so bad.

Billy Idol - Hot In The City (Original Version)

At this time last year, I was jumping around like an idiot, waiting for the moment when Heidi and I would be rocking out to Billy Idol. Let's start from the beginning...
It was July and I saw an ad for Billy Idol and from that moment I was determined to see this man in concert. So like the raving loon that I am I approached my mom and begged her to go, even though it wasn't really necessary. She wasn't able to go with so I approached the next best person...enter Heidi.
The telephone conversation consisted of ...
Me: OMG! Billy Idol is playing in T.O. and we have to go. I'm going to buy the tickets okay? It's August 30th...
I don't remember the rest of the conversation but who cares? We were going to see Billy Idol play with Steve Stevens.
So I bought the tickets...saved for a few weeks to get them and I was determined to get good seats. Which to my surprsie we actually got semi decent seats.
The big night arrived and this guy behind us kept telling us to sit down because he wanted to video tape the concert...chump.
Then after weeks of me saying "Im going to meet Billy Idol" and many other ramblings, a rep for Molson Ampitheatre asked if we would like to go down to the pit and my reply was "YES!!!!" So there we were right smack dab in front of a 50 year old man rithing around in leather pants like there was no tomorrow. And we loved every second of it ... until David Lee Roth and Girl blocked us from the enjoyable view. Well Heidi calls him something Hubbard or other from Spinal Tap, but you get the point. He was a million feet tall and preventing us from seeing the band. The rest of the people there were as Jethro predicted...lawyers, soccer moms and so on. But we didn't care, we saw Billy Idol and loved every freakin second of it. Of course they confiscated our camera on the way in but we have now devised a plan to get cameras into places they shouldn't be .... right? Remember that little trick I can do? So after three hours of wrecking our ears and fist pumping we raced to the Swag Shop and bought some much needed t-shirts. Then on the way back we squealed like little girls and laughed all the way home.

Heidi says I have such good luck at concerts and that it has ruined me. So, this is what I was doing on this day last year .... "Oh, what am I doing today? Working..." I accepted a call in, and now I'm kicking myself because I was supposed to go to the college bookstore but that's a whole other issue I am avoiding. But today is Billy Idol day(and from what I hear the blackboard still says that).

Goodbye to You

I've been doing some thinking (and no it doesn't hurt). I've been thinking about all the people I don't talk to, all the people I wish I could still connect with, all the people I will never speak to after this summer...
I had a conversation earlier with one of my friends and for the first time I realised we no longer had anything in common, this is how the conversation went...

Me: Hello
BF: Hey, what's up?
Me: Nothing you? I know that your back with the life sucker...
BF:Yeah she listens to me and does as I say
Me: Dude, that's not a relationship, but whatever that's your problem and I don't want to hear about it.
BF:Anyways, what's your schedule like for school?
Me: I don't remember exactly but my orientation is later this week and I have marketing on Mondays at 8am and one class on Thursdays and Fridays.
BF: Well, I don't have any classes on Fridays but I'm really nervous about my orientation tomorrow
Me: You'll be okay, you make friends really easily
BF: Thank you, I appreciate you saying that
Me: Well, it's the truth
BF: You sound sad and depressed is everything okay?
Me: Yeah I'm fine, I'm tired...(that's a lie)
BF: You don't sound the same, you're usually telling me who you're mad at or some crazy adventure that you've been on
Me: Well, maybe I'm growing up there's nothing really new to tell you about. I've been working and going to the Club with L
BF: Well cheer up!
Me: Trust me, I'm quite cheery...shut up, don't tell me what to do
BF: S is having a party on Friday, do you want to come?
Me: I work on Friday from 4:30 - 10, but if I get home at a decent hour I will make an appearance
BF: Okay, well gimme a call if you want to do something later this week
Me: Okay, will do. I guess I'll talk to you later
Hangs up phone
Fat chance I will be calling him this week or any time after. I realised that after all this time he is still dealing with all this high school bull shit and I don't want a part of it. I also realised today that people I used to be good friends with, I don't feel the same about and that is sad. The people I used to consider good friends aren't anymore. All the people I promised to stay in touch with - I haven't, no phone calls, no emails, nothing. And part of me blames me for not staying in contact but the other part is "Well, I don't know what to say, I don't know where to start." It's a bull shit excuse and it is absolutely lame but at the same time I feel like I've grown up a little bit and they're all still dealing with their high school crap. Maybe, I haven't grown up at all, maybe I'm just saying that to be brave and deal with the fact that I start college in a week. But who's counting? I feel so different from them, most of them don't have jobs, don't leave the house and sit on msn and complain about their craptastic lives. And granted I didn't have a part time job before this summer, and my social life isn't exactly there but I don't want to hear it anymore. Truth is, I don't care that their boy/girl friends are ..., or that mommy and daddy won't pay. I'm a bit of a hypocrite but at least I know it. I'm frustrated with it, all of it. I don't even feel bad about not fitting in with them, I'm a little relieved. Don't get me wrong, I will miss them and a part of me will always be with them but this part is moving on and starting new. I spent the most awkward four years of my life with them, they share my embarrassing moments, they share some of my best memories but ... that's all there is are memories. As my mom says, they are now high school friends and that's it. But L, she just may be my best friend ... the kind of friend that my mom has in Heidi. (That's the kind of friend I have always wanted)

Michelle Branch - Goodbye to You

BANG! The Weekend is Over

The weekend started with the arrival of my Uncle. On my mom's blog and Hickchic's he's referred to as TMOC. It's always eventful when he's around, but there will be more on that later.
Saturday...involved work with what seemed as the World's longest shift ..okay it was 10:30 -4 but it seemed like forever. Then my mom came and picked me up which made me happy because it meant not riding the bus home but that's not even the best news. She told me that we were going to Hick Chic's farm...I haven't been there in a very long time. Also, going to the farm means horseback riding. Yes, people this very city girl rode a horse. And it wasn't my first time. Yep, I have been horseback riding before...So after dinner, I went riding and I got my work shoes covered in horse sh*t because that's how I feel about the grocery store right now. I am very ANGRY with the people in the office. So I covered my shoes in sh*t and I plan on stomping through the store covering their floors with sh*t. Then I was taken on a night tour of the junk yard. Yep, the children took me through the junk yard with their crazy dog whom I tried to put in my bag on the way out but it's hard not to notice a flat faced, snorty dog not running through the house.
On Sunday, my uncle took me to this "birthday party" and I use that term very loosely. The birthday girl had just seperated from her fiance, shortly before the wedding. So there was very little celebrating just a bunch of wine and food. Did I mention the birthday girl sitting in the corner reading even while we sang Happy Birthday? It was a depress fest to say the least. It was the longest few hours of my life...I wanted to be happy and have fun but I just couldn't so there I sat eating my cherry cheesecake. When I was relieved of the depress fest I came home to find out that L had called. Which I had secretly been praying for because that meant going to the Club. So I rushed around like a chicken with it's head cut off trying to get ready. Thankfully, I already had my hair done for the depress fest. So after what seemed like an eternity I picked out an outfit. It consisted of my punk rock pants and a long black t-shirt. I haven't worn my punk rock pants since grade 10 and it was amazing that I still managed to get in to them. So we pranced down the three blocks to the Club. They were playing Techno - I don't do techno ...EVER! Not only that we have to find our beat...it has to be the right song. The place was packed and everyone was there including the mathletes/badass DJ's. Yep, the mathletes brought it and tried to show everyone up. It was entertaining to the point where I couldn't even dance. Then some people from school showed up high on Speed. Not only did I see people from school but people from work which doesn't go over well when you called in sick earlier that day.
Now I am dreading going into work tonight because I don't have a Doctor's note but here's the thing...my doctor wouldn't give me a doctor's note if I came into his office with my head on fire and he had to piss on my head to get the fire out. So, the grocery store can screw itself right now, especially since they screwed up my hours in the office.
I'll let you know how my shift goes and the rest of my visit with my Uncle.

A Lotus Grows in the Mud

I have been reading Goldie Hawn's book "A Lotus Grows in the Mud" and it has been an interesting read to say the least.
For the most part I am enjoying the book and it is not what I expected it to be. I was hoping for some stupid celebrity wisdom but she has none of that. Yes people, she is inspiring us with real life wisdom, little pearls of information to help create better people.
She has not used her celebrity power to bring attention to her good deeds, she just does them quietly like a normal human being. Her deeds aren't making the pages of People Magazine like the freakish Tom Cruise.
And she is nuts in a good, fun way... she shares some embarrassing moments with us and as I read her book it's like I can hear her reciting the words as they come across the page. Or maybe that's because I saw her reading an excerpt from her book on the Ellen Degeneres Show. I don't know.
She shares her adventures with us, she has been to some amazing places...places that most of us will only ever dream of...These places include Jerusalem, New Dehli, Spain, Italy...She raised her kids on a beach in Spain for a summer with very little modern technology. I only dream of living on the beach, something I probably will never accomplish but hey it's a nice dream...
Her life, her career has taken her all over the world. This book is an honest look at her life, the struggles she's overcome and all the difficulties life can throw you even when you think everything is great.
There were a few parts in the book where you wanted to stop reading but you couldn't because it kept pulling you back...I'm warning you she talks about being molested, raped and attacked all before she is thirty years old.
She always ends the chapters with a lesson, or a piece of wisdom which can feel rather preachy at times but you realise that she wants to her share her experiences with you, and not hold anything back.
So, if you are looking for the secrets of a celebrity life style you are not going to find that in here.

Who Knew

Who knew that work would be like high school all over again? I certainly didn't, especially since most of the people I work with are older than me. I never thought that working in a grocery store would produce so much drama...
And to be honest for once in my life I want no part of it. I don't care if that means I'm not popular or people at work think less of me. I just want to get along with everyone, do my job and save some money for school. I guess that's too much to ask. I try to get along with everyone, keep to myself and keep my mouth shut. For those of you who know me personally know that I have a big mouth and keeping it shut is not an easy task. But I try because I don't want rumours, gossip or any of the other bullshit that goes along with it.
I feel like in the end none of this matters because this is just a job to help pay for school and in two years I will hopefully have a job that does not involve a grocery store.
So as I struggle to fix the little situation I have inadverently put myself in I must come to realise that ...

• people will always talk, if they didn't they'd have to go back to their own boring lives
• no matter what you do you can't stop a rumour or people from talking
• anybody that is worth time, will want the truth from you and nothing less
• people ask for the truth but can't handle it or deal with it poorly because they never expect anyone to actually give them the truth...they expect to hear what they want, you know the good stuff, never the bad
• and my mouth must remain shut, because it only ever gets me in trouble

Questions Commonly Asked

Questions Commonly Asked At Work and the Responses I'd like to give...

1. Can you give me directions to ------? No, but you can go next door and buy a fucking map.
2. Where can I find ------? Uh, I don't know and I don't care. Does it look like I work in grocery?
3. Do you sell cigarettes here? Do you see a customer service desk anywhere? No, you don't see one? Then, no, no we don't sell cigarettes here.
4. Can you check my lottery ticket numbers? Yes, I can just let me run your goddamn ticket through my printer you bingo bag...No, you idiot of course I can't check your lottery ticket numbers.
5. Why do you sell bags here? Why can't I just have them for free? Well, I don't know and honestly I don't care...Do you want a fucking bag or not?

These are just some of the questions I am often asked at work and sometimes when I'm in a bad mood this is what I feel like responding with although I never have. I just feel like it because sometimes the answers are so obvious. I must admit that there are days when I ask stupid questions as well and I guess I'm going to have to keep that in mind.

Uh Oh...time to hit the Club

Last night L, Cute Packer and I went to Club E-----. It was All Ages Night. Which means it's a club full of prostitots, sleezy old men, and people like me who aren't quite old enough to get into the real bars. So there we were - dancing and having a sober time because the only one old enough to drink is Cute Packer. The night was somewhat eventful until the cat fight!!! It was in the cage and over this prepubescent boy who loved every minute of it. The first girl had the second by the hair and was smashing her face against the metal poles while the second girl was throwing punches every where. Some middle life crisis bouncers pulled them outside and people continued dancing like there was no tomorrow. Cute Packer and I were tired from work so we went and sat on the couches...blah, blah, blah. Look! L has herself a crowd...what? A crowd of hot guys mesmerized by her dancing. So CP and I had to go check it out, and not only were there hot guys around, CP knew a few of them. So CP and I hit the dance floor with our ridiculously bad dance moves. To tell you the truth 16 weeks of Hip Hop Dance has done nothing for me. It was fun...and I got to dance with CP. So then CP and I were sitting in a booth watching L and the hot guys have a dance off when we noticed...the prostitot and Mr. 26 year old. We were just trying to have a conversation when we saw the most disgusting display of affection? If it can even be called that. Every thought that was in my mind suddenly disappeared at the sight of this 14 year old girl riding this 26 year old guy. And he liked it...he was impressed that a 14 year old was attracted to him. And I wanted to vomit, and then at that point CP and I both felt old. I was tempted to tell these girls to go home and put some clothes on while I call the boys on the dance floor hooligans. So around 1:30 am, CP, L and I walked the few blocks back to my house.
CP called a taxi and went home while L and I sat on the porch swing talking about hot guys, my chances with CP and all that other good stuff that you're not supposed to tell other people (but I might). So it was a good night...maybe great, but thats for me to know.

The Darkness - Get Your Hands Off Of My Woman

This is what kind of day it was. Heidi would get this. It was raining and I didn't want to go to work but I did and it was bad. So this is the music that Heidi and I listen to when we need a good laugh. Also does anybody else think the Brits are crazy ... in a good way?
Oh one more thing...does anybody else find it funny the way he yells the word cunt? Maybe its just me.

mxpx/hedley concert

This is the Hedley Concert
I was at. There's me on Stage...! I'm freaking out. I'm famous. I look like such a loser but I was so EXCITED and I was there with the Jacob. And there were hundreds of eyes all on me. I was so freaked out but the fact that I actually had the guts to get up there still amazes me. I can't believe I did that. If I ever met Jake I would give him my number...but I've decided that I'm going to the Junos this year. I have no idea how I'm going to pay for it or how I'm going to get there but I'm going. Trust me, now that I'm determined I will do it. It's like when I wanted to see Billy Idol...I found money, a way there, someone to go with, so this will be the same. I'm going to the Junos and I'm touching the Jake again. Unless, I can get tickets to the Hedley Concert in Stratford...in which case I'll be seeing them on September 8th.
Okay, so I'm done ranting about my love of Hedley.

Pet Peeves..all 30 of 'em

There are some things that really get me going. Things that drive me so crazy that I might do something crazy. I bet you I have about thirty of those things so here they are in a nice little list.Okay, well there are only 28, but even so it's way more than enough. My mom is now wondering how I make it through life when people are pissing me off all the time.

1. When someone forgets to refill the Brita water pitcher.
2. When someone turns the water off but not the shower so you get a nice spray as your trying to have a bath.
3. Towels that aren't hung up properly - they don't dry and then you can't use them
4. When someone wants to get past you on the bus but they don't have the courtesy to say "Excuse me."
5. When someone turns off the computer monitor, it doesn't need to be done, it turns itself off.
6. When I am at work and I say "Hello" but people don't answer back.
7. When people leave empty containers in the fridge or cupboard.
8. When people take my hairbrush - I have no idea why it bothers me it just does.
9. When clean laundry gets put in the wrong spot.
10. When people on the bus aren't wearing shoes - it annoys me and grosses me out.
11. I don't like when strangers sit next to me on the bus because they lean real close to me and I feel claustrophobic.
12. When people don't return telephone calls.
13. When I am at work and people freak out on me for things that I have absolutely no control over.
14. When people leave their carts in front of the register because then I have to close down my register and return the carts, while customers wait impatiently.
15. When people decide that they do not want items and then they leave them on the floor especially the frozen foods.
16. When the grocery boys don't answer my pages because I have to close down my register and return the products, again leaving customers who become bitchy and rude.
17. When people mislabel, or misspell important information on the internet. I'm not talking about obvious typos but blantant spelling errors.
18. When people mislabel the sources for music, albums, etc., on the internet.
19. When people on the bus, don't give up their seats for the elderly, or small children...
20. When people leave their booze at a party and call because they want it back...if you leave it, it belongs to the host.
21. When the cashiers call me at my register to gossip...it's rude and you can't provide the best service.
22. When the store is closed and people crash at the doors, freaking out trying to get in..."Uh hello? The hours are posted right there...yeah, right there where your fist is pounding."
23. When the bus drivers are late and instead of finishing the round, they'll wait, have a cup of coffee and wait for the next rotation.
24. Ferret Draggers. People who "walk" their ferrets or shall I say drag them down the street in the heat. I don't like ferrets ( I have good reason) but I don't want to see them dragged behind bikes anymore.
25. People who bring produce through my register and don't know what the fuck it is...How on earth did you put this in your cart and not know what it was ? Don't look at me with blank eyes ...idiot
26. People who light cigarettes and blow the smoke in your face...Great. Now I owe you a 1.25, for that smoke.
27. People who shop after the store is closed...freaks milling through the store like a Stepford Wife
28. People who bring their whole family grocery shopping and then let their children run through the store, screaming and carrying on like it's a freaking playground. Well, when they bring their obnoxious children to any store and let them behave like this...

10 Things

10 Things I want to do ...

1. Actually meet Billy Idol, not just stare at him from a few feet away.
2. Go to Europe. Not the backpacking kind...that seems scary and dangerous
3. Go to the Junos and touch Jacob Hoggard...again. "Oh I will Hot Tom. I will."
4. Go to a Red Hot Chilli Peppers concert because no matter what anyone says Anthony Kiedis I want to touch the Kiedis (with medical gloves on of course).
5. Learn to surf...I'm not sure why. It just looks like fun.
6. Go to LA and hang with the celebs and possibly marry one.
7. Open my own business...I'm looking at the Fashion industry these days.
8. Get a shamrock tattooed on my ankle.
9. Buy Shawn his '67 Ford Galaxie Fast Back. And buy me an old Mustang or a '68 Camero.
10. Drive to Nova Scotia and party like there's no tomorrow. I'm hitting the Liquor Dome.

3 Awesome Things that Have Already Happened

#1 . Getting to go in the pit at the Billy Idol Concert last summer. I can still feel the sweat flying off Steve Stevens on to me and HickChic.
#2. Getting to go on stage with Hedley. Yes, people I have touched Jacob Hoggard and I liked it.
#3. Meeting my Aunt Kelly for the first time. She is one of the most fun people I have ever met.

Oh, My! What a can of worms!

I seemed to have opened up a can of worms with my latest post on the animals of Hurricane Katrina.
I realise that this is a very controversial topic and that there are many sides to it. While I believe that the animals should be returned to their rightful owners I can (somewhat) understand the other side.
But I do agree with HickChic completely when she says there is a lack of communication. I believe that people who are searching for their pets must continue the lines of communication and anyone who has recently adopted a pet "abandoned" by Hurricane Katrina is responsible for ensuring the original owners are not looking for their pets.
I also agree with Dilling who says that it would be hard for the new adoptive family as well. The families who have adopted the pets would love and care for the animals the same way as the original owners but they also knew and willingly signed an agreement stating that if the original owners returned that they must return the pets.
In some respects these 'adoptions' could be considered glorified dogsitting. As much as you love the new addition to your home, the agreement was that the animals would be returned should the owner come looking.
I must agree with Life or Something Like it when they wrote that it is upsetting that these new owners refuse to return the pets. They claim these pets were "abandoned" but like with the man who lost his dog Max, he called every shelter, hotel etc., and there was absolutely no room for his pets. So what could he do? He put out five gallons of water and as much food as possible and hoped for the best. His dog was not abandoned, he simply ran out of options.
This whole event has been a desperate cry for the human race to pull together to rebuild the lines of communication and strengthen communities. In some respects this hurricane has brought people together to rebuild homes, buildings and physical structures but what about rebuilding trust, respect and communication?
You would think an event like this would make people realise the value of relationships, the value of life.
This event was devasting enough and instead of pulling together to make a better, stronger community, people who have already lost everything are now fighting in courts for the safe return of pets.

Hurricane Katrina

Usually I don't bitch about serious stuff because I'm 18 and convinced that the world revolves around me. But today my issue of People Magazine arrived and I read an article titled "Who's Dog is it Anyways?" It was about victims of Hurricane Katrina whose pets were displaced because of the hurricane and now they are struggling to find them again. I was so heartbroken when I read this because these people lost everything and now they can't even get their pets back.
I read how one man had no choice but to leave his two dogs behind because there were no shelters that would take him. When he returned to his home he saw the muddy dog paw prints and prayed that they swam to safety. He later found out that his dogs had been picked up by a Humane Society and given up for adoption. He was devasted ...his dog Max was a present from his brother and now he can't get his dog back. The person that adopted his dog say that the dog was abandoned. The original owner is taking the new owners to court for custody of hsi dog now being called Joey. There are many other dogs that were given up for adoption illegally. A family placed their two dogs in a shelter and the shelter claimed that they would keep the dogs safe for six months. After three months the shelter was closed all the dogs were given up for adoption. None of the families were informed of the shelter closing. And their dogs were adopted by families who claim "the dogs were abandoned and not taken care of..."
Now, after losing everything the families just want their pets back and these greedy sonsabitches won't return them. I hope these people who claim to have "rescued" pets feel guilty. I hope they can't sleep at night and they realise that there are little kids, elderly and families missing their pets.
Here are some examples of people desperately trying to get their pets back...
Lil Bit - Lisa Down's young son asks every day when the shih tzu is coming home. A woman in Illinois won't give her back.
Tricksy - Thomas Exnicious III, 23, is taking the Animal Compassion Network to court to get back his Chihuahua from a North Carolina woman.
Bandit - Malvin Cavalier, 86, is working with a lawyer to get back his beloved poodle from a Pennsylvania woman.
Missy - Army First Lt. Jay Johnson, 27, who was in Iraq during Katrina filed a lawsuit against the SPCA of Texas to get his Shih tzu back.
Precious - Linda Charles, 41, filed suit against the Humane Society of North Texas which adopted out her German Shepard.
I can't believe that people would be so greedy, and inconsiderate. These people lost their homes, family members and everything else, why can't they have their pets back?
People left their homes, does that mean that because we found them we can have them? They are victims of a tragedy and they can't even have their pets back? They are trying to rebuild their community and their lives and I think if we can't help them financially we could at least give them their pets.
I can't imagine someone taking my pets ... and refusing to return them. These people who adopted these pets because they were "abandoned" are selfish and have no consideration for the victims of Hurricane Katrina. I think after this article there will be an outcry from the individuals who feel the same as I do. I hope that the victims can have their pets returned and continue to rebuild what was lost.

Go Ask Alice

Yesterday I read the book Go Ask Alice which I thought was a pretty good book. I've never done drugs and to be honest someone could roll a joint in front of me and I might not know what they're doing. Anyways, I finished the book and was left with half a million questions that the book did not answer, so around midnight last night I had to go online and do some research. My first choice was Wikipedia. So here are some of the things I found out

• The diary does not belong to anyone. Speculations are made that a psychologist wrote the book based on a few journal entires from a variety of her patients.
• Despite the fact that the book was authored by "Anonymous" 'Beatrice Sparks, a psychologist and Mormon youth counsellor, began making media appearances promoting herself as the book's editor.'
• "Searches at the U.S. Copyright Office show that Sparks is the sole copyright holder for Go Ask Alice. Furthermore, she is listed on the copyright record as the book's author — not as the editor, compiler, or executor, which would be more usual for someone publishing the diary of a deceased person."
• "Go Ask Alice had been based on the diary of one of her patients, but that she had added various fictional incidents based on her experiences working with other troubled teens. She said the real 'Alice' had not died of a drug overdose, but in a way that could have been either an accident or suicide. She also stated that she could not produce the original diary, because she had destroyed part of it after transcribing it and the rest was locked away in the publisher's vault."
• No one has ever come forward claiming to be 'Alice' or any of the other characters from the book.
• Even though the person writing the journal never mentioned her name, she is commonly called 'Alice' for convience of research, historians etc.
• In the book the writer refers to herself as 'Alice in Wonderland' and a brief encounter with another junkie named Alice is mentioned but the writer's name is never given
• Over the decades this book had banned from several schools and libraries because of the many references to drugs and sex

So overall I enjoyed the book.

I thought it was really sad because this started when she was only 15 years old. There were two parts in the book that really upset me. The first incident was at Sheila's party where Sheila (Sheila is Chris's boss) and her boyfriend took turns raping 'Alice' and her friend Chris.

The second incident is when 'Alice' is drugged by someone and she ends up in the mental hospital. It was really sad because everyone knows she doesn't need to be in there. And history has shown that people with addictions would end up in there because in the 60's and 70's because there were no detox centres or places to help those with drug addictions.

I thought it was incredible that she would just keep running away and there were no repercusions for her actions. All I could think was "My parents would kill me if I ran away" and yet she did that twice.

I also thought that she was brave. She willingly tried drugs even the scary ones i.e. Heroin, Speed. Ok, I think all drugs are scary but those are the ones to really be afraid of ...the needles. I don't want people to think that doing drugs is an act of bravery it's just the things that you do for that hit no matter how dangerous make you somewhat brave, it's like you have no limitations when it comes to getting what you want. Imagine if people put that much effort into other things, good things?

When I read that she died after three weeks of deciding to stop writing I was so disappointed. I really thought that she was going to make it, that things would be better for her. It never specified whether she took the drugs willingly or if she was drugged, they were more concerned that another teen died of drugs. And I suppose that's the real issue but I like to believe that she was drugged. I believe that because of the way her life was going and the changes she had made. She was so happy, she was excited about life and things were the way she wanted them. She was free of the drugs, free of the other potheads, free to do what she wanted.

So, if you're looking for a quick read, something you can read in a day like I did than I reccommend "Go Ask Alice" it gives you an inside look at the world of drugs in the 60's. And well the 60's are interesting enough.

*All information regarding "Go Ask Alice" is from the Wikipedia website. Here's the link if you'd like to read more about 'Alice' including a small criticism of the book. http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Go_Ask_Alice

Work Sucks

Usually I try not to blog on the weekends because no one really reads them but I need to vent. Work has done nothing but piss me off the last couple days. It all started on Saturday...
I traded shifts with Stanford at work because I didn't want to go into work first thing in the morning..so when I arrived I found out that I was an "extra body" meaning I was doing all the cleaning and whatever odd jobs they had for me. So basically they made me their bitch. I started doing the cleaning but the cleaners had been in the night before so there was very little for me to do...sweeping, emptying garbage cans, making sure all the registers had bags. It took about fourty five minutes. So when I finished that the manager told me to go find the other manger for something to do. Well he suggested doing returns and picking up baskets, that took about fifteen minutes. And it sucked, except for the part where I flirted with the cute packer. So after 15 minutes of a pure suckfest I went in the backroom to sit on some cases of pop...but that backfired because the nice manager put me to work. So I spent my time putting oatmeal, cookies and soup on the shelf. And in between those jobs I'd have to go look at cute packer. When I finished all of that it was time for a break. I took an extra long break, because there was nothing for me to do so I may as well piss around in the break room. Then I came downstairs and who should be there? Cute packer. And he had a job for me! I was ecstatic, it was no longer a bore fest. We spent over an hour stacking the bread shelves. After taking our time smashing bread on to shelves I was sent to produce. And like everyone else they had nothing for me to do. So I went to back to the manager who sent me home 45 minutes early. Then on my way out I ran into one of the other cashiers who wanted me to sit with her while she was on break. After her break ended Cute packer was going on his lunch which is an hour long. Cute packer invited me to sit with him, which I did and did not even care that I was missing my bus. It was nice, he is nice, his eyebrow ring looks very nice. So I finally went home and despite my wicked hangover and sucky day it was worth it to talk to Cute packer.
Today was not quite a suck fest. It was sucky but the busy kind of sucky. Today they had so much for me to do but didn't give me enough time to do it. I was on Cash and Box duty. Box duty means cleaning out all the bins where we keep boxes for the frugal customers who refuse to buy bags for a nickel. And let me tell you it was gross but I'm a brave girl. So they started me on boxes which I was enjoying because I was way too tired to handle people. So as I was cleaning out the garbage and sweeping the bottom of the bins the manager comes and tells me to hop on Cash. So I'm on Cash, then there's no one coming, so it was back to the boxes. Busting my ass cleaning moldy food and other forms of disgusting debris when another manager comes and bitches that I should be on Cash. Sitting at my register doing absolutely nothing when a different manager tells me to go back to boxes. Enjoying bin diving when I'm told to go on my break ...at this point I'm frustrated and feel like screaming "What is it exactly that you would like me to do?!!!!" So I go on my break...taking my sweet time and decided "I don't give a fuck what they tell me I'm getting the boxes finished then I will go back on Cash." So I'm in the back folding boxes to go in to the baylor when I hear "K------ to cash" So I stomp out of the back room cursing the managers and their damn office. Hop on cash and finish my shift.I stop at the office to see the manager who paged me to go on Cash...guess what the glorified cashier is doing. Drinking chocolate milk and reading a magazine. I felt like reaching through the window to scream in her face "You're bitching at me to get on Cash when last week you were a cashier until you were promoted?!" So it's back to my register where a customer comes with a basket of bread. She plants the basket in front of me and just stands there. I look at her like "What? Are you going to take the shit out of your basket? I mean you put it in there to begin with?" But she didn't she waited for me to do it and the whole time I'm cursing her in my head. I'm calling her every name in the book and hoping she trips on her way out. Shift ends. Time to punch out, take a quick peek at the schedule, oh what's that? They added a shift. It's on Wednesday - I get to do inventory of the dollar crap aisle. And that's not even the best part of it, because we are revamping the dollar aisle we have to pack all the stupid shit up. So I checked who else was doing inventory - me, K and Stanford. Which means Stanford and I are going to get absolutely nothing done because we have a habit of not getting stuff done when we work together. Which is always fun. But there is a bonus to this, we have five hours to get it done and if we don't we have to stay until it's done. I'm going to turn it into an eight hour day, especially since they made me an extra on Saturday and sent me home early. I'm pissed about that, maybe you noticed?
The rest of my week consists of closing the store down which I don't mind because you don't have to deal with customers, they managers put better music on the P.A. and you basically pretend to clean and do returns until the boss yells "You can go home now!" The only crappy part about that is I have to take the bus home late at night. But I kinda like it.
So work sucks, but like I said I'll do almost anything for money.

No Longer Puke Free

My reign as Puke Free since '03 officially ended last night. And I now understand why Tequila is called Te"kill ya". But on the upside I managed to match my friend K to every drink he had. Which means I won, yep I won the contest because I drank way more than he did.Granted I barely remember it but I know I did it because my cooler is empty. The majority of the night is a blur...up until the point I started blowing chunks. Yep, I threw up not once, not twice but five times. And just in case you're wondering Mike's Hard lemonade comes up the same way it went down, (that's the same for Vex and Margarita Ice). I have also learned that just because the liqour store has a sale does not mean you have to buy one of everything that's on sale. I should have just donated to the Breast Cancer fund out front and taken a stupid Avon catalogue and let the lady sign me up for selling Avon. I'm sure the Breast Cancer fund could use my $30 especially the way my gut is feeling this morning. But I refuse to use the term "Hangover" - it's so ugly, in this house we say we have "a touch of the flu". So in short these are the things I have learned:

• The liquor store having a sale is never a good idea
• Mike's hard comes up the same way and tastes the same
• Just because there is a contest does not mean you have to enter it
• Never drink when you have to work the next day
• Tequila is not my friend

So next time you're considering getting smashed keep these things in mind.

My humps

I have to blog this video - just for my sister K, she hates Fergie's legs. Will.i.am wrote this song in five mintutes for an attractive woman he saw on his way to the studio...and I bet it shows in this video/song.

fergie london bridge

I don't get this.

London Bridge

I just finished watching Fergie's video for London Bridge, and I must say I don't understand it.
What the hell does "Everytime you come around my london bridge wanna go down like..."mean.
So now I am sitting here trying to figure out what her london bridge is and why it's going down.
I asked someone and they said it was her mouth! Then I was grossed out.
Another thing, I didn't even know Fergie was going solo until I saw an advertisement for the BEP tour. And it was there it mentioned her solo album...why is that every time a group becomes successful one member must go solo or try going solo?
Not only that, I am sure her child(ren) love when she bumps and grinds all over back up dancers and parades around in her underwear. I don't care how good you look for your age let's act like it. Some other examples ...Madonna, Gwen. It drives me nuts...like when little kids go around singing these songs and have no idea what they are about.
Anyways I think I'm done bitching about Fergie, just tell me what you think her "London Bridge" is because I am dying to know.

beastie boys-fight for your right

This is for my party this weekend...yep my parents are letting me have one. What are they thinking?

The Market. The Guys. The Party.

Today I was up early around 9am...which is very early considering the earliest I've been up all summer was 6am but that's because I had to work. You can get me to do almost anything for money. Anyways back to my story. My friend L came over and we went to my least favourite place -----the MARKET!!!!!!!!!!!! Yep, she convinced me to go and it wasn't too bad because most of the little shops weren't open and it wasn't too busy. I hate the market because people are rude and pushy and loud. And the one other time I went this guy was singing Forever in Blue Jeans quite terribly and that just made me never want to go back there. So even though they serve a really wicked breakfast I vowed never to go back there but L was here and she's only been in town for about 6 months so it's been my responsibilty to take her around our stupid little city. So we went to Market and bitched about work, bitched about guys and talked about my awesome party that I am having this weekend. Yep, my parentals are leaving the house for a night and they agreed to let me have a party...sure I have to work the next day but nothing is going to stop me from having this party. It's to make up for the suckfest formerly known as Prom. I'm wearing my prom tiara and I am taking pictures to make up for the ones that were lost that night...
I have convinced all my friends that have to work that night to call in "sick" and most of them are because they know this is not going to be a Suckfest. I'm also considering buying a Daiquiri maker okay most people call them blenders but in our house they are Daiquiri makers. I mean what else could you possibly use a blender for? I have no idea. I've seen people use them for other things but never understood it. Margaritas would be good too. I'm not sure what I'm going to serve yet...there are so many choices all I know is that I get to wear my tiara and drink from my palm tree glass. This is going to be the best part of the whole week.

Boys are a suckfest

Today I am going to rant about the opposite sex. Yep, boys. They suck. They are nothing but a big suckfest. Most of them play games and tell lies.
I don't think all of them are bad but most of them are...with their lies and empty promises. The only time they can tell you anything nice is when they're so drunk they can't stand and then they send it to you in an email, instant message or on the phone with their jsut as drunk friends laughing in the background. Or they are these really weird guys who send you poems in german...and you're sitting there reading it and saying to yourself "What the fuck does this mean?" Sure, I'm German but that doesn't mean I speak or write it.

Or maybe I am just a magnet for weirdos, losers and liars.

Even the haridresser ones suck...you pay them $50 for a decent hair cut and they don't talk to you the whole time and they do what they want with your head...which looks nothing like what you asked for, and so you wish you hadn't just spent your money on your head because it looks no better than before.
They promise to take you places and then cancel last minute or send you an email claiming to be sick but then the next day they tell you that they went out with their friends and now they are so hungover...
Or the day before you're supposed to go out with them they get in this car accident and their car rolls down the highway and all you can think of is "Well, I'm glad I wasn't there." Part of you is concerned about the person but the other part you is thinking "Great, now we can't go out." Selfish, I know but it's the truth.
All my female friends tell me to find a man...what? where do you find these? Then you realise that they are all 18 and dating men in their mid to late 20's...so that means they're all having sex to keep their relationship going...no thank you...I'll pass on dating a MAN.
They make me feel like screaming at the top of my lungs and they drive me crazy. And you know that they know what they are doing to you. And that makes you even more insane, and then you are hoping that you can go to college and meet a nice boy with a car, job, manners and treats you well. But then you don't want the summer to end because it means you have to grow up and adjust to a whole new setting and that's makes you scared. So in the end instead of realising your insecurities and fears you blame it on the opposite sex.
Maybe I'm just rambling on and not making any sense at all but this is what goes through my mind. It's in there all the time, cursing me and distracting me and somehow making sense.

Music is for Lunch

So my weekend was pretty uneventful. It was kind of a suckfest. I didn't get to go to cruise night. The person I had planned on going with was stuck in Elmira at a job interview - so I can't really be upset with him for that. So that pretty much sucked.
Saturday night I went out with my friend who just got back from his cottage. We were supposed to have a bonfire but that plan fell apart so where did we go? Tim Horton's, yep, we went and bought coffee at 11pm. Then the boys had to stop for pizza. Because there's nothing better than pizza and coffee around midnight. After the pizza stop we went to S's house where we watched late night TV and my ride left without me. Again with the sucking. So my friends walked me home from S's house which took over an hour. I finally got home around 2am.
I think the walk home was the best part because I was talking with S who like me knows a lot about 80's music and when I talked about obscure bands he knew what I was talking about. And he's actually read Anthony Kiedis' "Scar Tissue", Tommy Lee's "Tommyland" and Motley Crue's "Dirt"...I was so impressed because nobody else I know except Hick Chic has read any of those. I haven't read the Motley Crue's or Tommy Lee's book but I'd like to, so it was this really awesome conversation about music. And he knew what CBGB's was - which was really impressive because all my other friends look at me funny and say "HUH?" when I mention CBGB's . So even though the rest of the weekend sucked there was this really great conversation about music with someone who could match my musical knowledge. And I was grateful that my Dad had taught me about so many bands and CBGB's ...(otherwise I would have looked like a loser which I do often enough by myself).

Today is Money Day # 2

Yep, today I receive my second paycheque. It's a small one but it's mine. All Mine. I really should be saving. But I do have $40 saved from last week and that's really good if you ask me because once I bought my bus tickets to get to my job I didn't have a whole lot left. And I did celebrate last week by buying some wicked 80's clothes. Yep, I bought a bitchin' vest for $7, a headband for $6, a shirt for $10 and my mom bought me some designer jeans that were on sale for $15. So, I think I did really well. And thanks to the end of season sales I only spent $23 plus taxes. Oh and I bought that McFlurry after the health food store incident.
So tonight, my friend and I are going out (hopefully to cruise nite) to celebrate our new jobs, and our money. Our money which can be exchanged for goods and services.

My Embarrassing Moment

Yesterday, I embarassed myself. At work. Yep, made a fool of myself at work. Actually, it's not completely my fault. There was a mix up in the schedule, so I came to work in my uniform already to go but when I check in the supervisor tells me that I work today not yesterday. So there I was telling her that my schedule said that I was supposed to work on Wednesday not Thursday. So as it turns out my schedule said DID say Wednesday and hers said THURSDAY, so I had to go back home which is 45 minutes in the bus. It was really embarassing and all the other employees were teasing and making fun of me because of the mix up. I did the best I could to laugh it off but I could tell my face was red and hot. I felt so embarrassed that I wanted to puke. And it really wasn't my fault the schedule was wrong but I felt so embarrassed because I'm still new there, I've only been there a couple weeks and sure everyone will hopefully forget but I still have to face it today. So, I'm going to work in a couple hours and I am not going to cry, throw up or let any one bother me because I know this has happened to others, they're just to embarassed to talk about it.

Jessica Simpson - A Public Affair

A Public Affair

I just finished watching Jessica Simpson' s latest music video - A Public Affair. Which was better than her usual crap but still not that great to say the least.
The video features "high profile" celebs including Christina Millian, Eva Longoria (because her and Jessica Simpson are best friends forever now) and Christina Applegate.
When was the last time Christina Applegate did anything?
Anyways the video starts off with them talking about how famous they want to be, because they aren't already? Then they start talking about the paparazzi. And this continues ....blah, blah, blah.
So the limo stops and guess where they go...the roller rink. Since when did celebs start rollerskating? in public...I figured they'd have one in their basement or next to their pool or something ridiculous.
Then to boost Jessica's ego even more there's all these boy toys at the rink fantasizing about her, kissing her, her eating an ice cream cone inappropriately. Well, actually, I don't think Andy Dick counts as a "Boy toy". One girl dreams about beating her up which is funny because Jessica seriously needs to be beaten up.
I think the best part of the whole was the 80's wardrobe. And people dancing while rollerskating and the only reason I admire that is because I'd never be able to do that, so it must take some sort of talent.
So, I've posted the video on my blog, just so you can watch 4 minutes and 18 seconds of crap, then tell me what you think.