Manic Monday

Today is a day full of randomosity. I'm serious, get ready for this y'all. {This is a super long entry.}
I actually went to school today only to find out that my teacher was sick and wouldn't be in at all. Which means we have two work periods...so I stayed for a couple hours did some work and then another class was scheduled for my computer lab so I had to leave and wouldn't be able to get in for at least three hours. And unfortunately that is the only computer lab that has the software that I needed. I printed off all my work, packed up my books and came home. So now I am at home writing to you - my fans.
First off, I have been tagged to blog about my crushes but that's for tomorrow or some other day.

Second, I'm not sure what this is but I like it. Okay I know what it is. It's the Scissor Sisters and quite frankly they are frightening to watch but I like to listen to them. I have been listening to them all weekend. They are disco sounding according to my parents who have suffered through them all weekend. I'm completely addicted to them and I know that they are weird and what not but for some reason I can't turn them off.

Third - Saturday nite my Dad and I met KK at the bus stop so she wouldn't have to walk home alone in the dark. However we got on the topic of how little kids often make up secret languages to communicate with one another. Well my Dad told us about his secret language with his friends. Which he apparently kept until he was about fourteen years old. This was hilarious. And it gets better. He gave us an example. I'm not sure of the exact pronunciation. But here goes. Push De Malaka try saying it like this PUSH - DEE - MA -LA -KAW.
He used to yell Push De and if his friend was around his friend would respond with Malaka. Then to demonstrate on the way home, my Dad started yodelling this phrase "Push De Malaka." Yes. I'm sure the neighbors loved this at 10pm. He told me to keep this a secret and not to tell my mom but I could not hold something this juicy inside. I burst through the front door and told my mom this and she laughed hysterically. So, now we have this running joke in our house. We have decided next time we loose him in the mall or somewhere we are just going to holler "Push De" and wait for him to respond with "Malaka" like a foreign version of Marco Polo.

Fourth - I don't think my Grandma listens to me. She stopped by on the weekend with my baby cousin who looks exactly like J. Exactly. It's a little creepy. But anyways moving on. My Grandma said she wanted to visit with me this week and asked what days I was working. I told her that I was working Tuesday and Thursday. I told her that I have class until four pm on Mondays and Wednesdays. So after I told her this she asked "So is Tuesday a good day to come by?" And once again I explained to her that I had a five and a half hour shift that night. And she said okay then I will see you Tuesday night." And with that she left. Thanks Grandma. I'm so glad you heard a word I said.

Fifth and this is the last thing I promise. It is hilarious. This was sent to me from a classmate and it gave me a good laugh this afternoon.

Guess this speaks to how it pays to be polite (or you never know what can happen!!!
Well.... Here goes:
As I promised my girlfriend, I started anger management classes recently...
The instructor told us that the best way to get a hold of your anger was to do something constructive with your anger and channel it to a project which will bring you satisfaction... so....
I was sitting at my desk when I remembered a phone call I'd forgotten to make. I found the number and dialed it.
A man answered, saying "Hello." I politely said,
"This is John. Could I please speak with Robyn Carter?"
Suddenly a manic voice yelled out in my ear "Get the right f***'in number!" and the phone was slammed down on me.
I couldn't believe that anyone could be so rude.
When I tracked down Robyn's correct number to call her, I found that I had accidentally transposed the last two digits.
After hanging up with her, I decided to call the 'wrong' number again.
When the same guy answered the phone, I yelled "You're an asshole!" and hung up.
I wrote his number down with the word 'asshole' next to it, and put it in my desk drawer.
Every couple of weeks, when I was paying bills or had a really bad day, I'd call him up and yell, "You're an asshole!"
...It always cheered me up.
When Caller ID was introduced, I thought my therapeutic "asshole calling" would have to stop. So, I called his number and said, "Hi, this is James Smith from the Verizon. I'm calling to see if you're familiar with our Caller ID Program?"
He yelled "NO!" and slammed down the phone. I quickly called him back and said, "That's because you're an asshole!".. and hung up.
One day I was at the store, getting ready to pull into a parking spot. Some guy in a black BMW cut me off and pulled into the spot I had patiently waited for. I hit the horn and yelled that I'd been waiting for that spot, but the idiot ignored me.
I noticed a "For Sale" sign in his back window which included his phone number, so I wrote down the number.
A couple of days later, right after calling the first asshole (I had his number on speed dial) I thought that I'd better call the BMW asshole, too. I said, "Is this the man with the black BMW for sale?"
"Yes, it is", he said.
"Can you tell me where I can see it?" I asked.
"Yes, I live at 3412 Taft Street, in Hollywood. It's a yellow house, and the car's parked right out in front."
"What's your name?" I asked. "My name is Don Hansen," he said.
"When's a good time to catch you, Don?"
"I'm home every evening after five."
"Listen, Don, can I tell you something?"
"Yes?"
"Don, you're an asshole!"
Then I hung up, and added his number to my speed dial, too.
Now, when I had a problem, I had two assholes to call. Then I came up with an evil plot.... I called Asshole #1. "Hello."
"You're an asshole!" (But I didn't hang up.)
"Are you still there?" he asked.
"Yeah," I said.
"Stop calling me," he screamed.
"Make me," I said.
"Who are you?" he asked.
"My name is Don Hansen" - I said in a very deep voice.
"Yeah? Where do you live?"
"Asshole, I live at 3412 Taft Street, in Hollywood, what's a pantywaste like you going to do about it?
He said, "I'm coming over right now, Don.
And you had better start saying your prayers."
I said, "Yeah, like I'm really scared, asshole," and hung up.
Then I called Asshole #2.
"Hello?" he said.
"Hello, asshole," I said.
He yelled, "If I ever find out who you are."
"You'll what?" I said! "
I'll kick your ass," he exclaimed.
I answered, "Well, asshole, here's your chance. I'm coming over right now."
Then I hung up and immediately called the police, saying that I lived at 3412 Taft Street, in Hollywood and that I was on my way over there to kill my gay lover.
Then I called news channel 9 about the gang war going down on 3412 Taft Street.
I quickly got into my car and headed over to Taft.
I got there just in time to watch two assholes beating the crap out of each other in front of six cop cars, an overhead police helicopter and a news crew.
NOW I feel much better.... SATISFIED Anger management really works..

Me + Nyquil = Bad Gwen Dreams

So since I have been sick I have been doing lots of sleeping. And I mean lots of sleeping as in 14 hours in one day. Plus I called in sick to work so there's been none of that since Tuesday.
But anyways I will get to my point. Over the last couple days I had bizarre dreams about Gwen Stefani. Specifically me telling her off kinda dreams.

In my dreams I ranted and raved about everything from my previous post on Gwen (sorry the link isn't working but it's in my archives for November 13th). I complained about the whole Harajuku girls, the continual use of the abbreviation of LAMB. And why she is yodelling in her latest song? Which don't tell anyone about this is kinda catchy. Damn you Gwen Stefani! Damn you! Anyways in my dream I went on about why the Harajuku girls are wearing blonde wigs and dressing exactly like her in her latest music vid. I don't get it. I can't understand it and don't think I ever will.

But enough about Gwen. I slept for 14 hours today and feel a little better. Actually alot better. Apparently sleep is the cure all for me.

I didn't go to school because I have just felt that craptastic but I'm returning to work tomorrow and I have Sunday off. I went and picked up my cheque tonite because we don't have direct deposit. Total pain in the ass but I went in, got my cheque and FB was surprisingly, overwhelmingly busy and I laughed. I laughed because I was not scheduled to work and they had all newbies in on the the weekend. Which if you ask me is stupid because 1) even though the last couple fridays have been dead it is still friday. 2) It's less than a month away from Xmas and you put all newbs on cash. And all the managers were in a panic because the lines were outrageously long and all the cashiers were extremely stressed. So in my typical style I did a mad dash through the store grabbed my cheque, wrote down my hours and ran outta that store like a bat outta hell. I did not want to run the risk of being asked to jump on a register. There was no way I was doing that.

After flying outta FB I raced over to the mall, cashed my cheque and promptly spent it. A little on me, a little on Xmas gifts and was outta there ASAP. Wal Mart around this time is somewhat violent being that Wal Mart is just another corporate whore selling cheap items with cheap prices and no customer service. People get extremely greedy about Christmas and I won't lie I love presents. I love the excitement, I love the food. I love the time off school. But I don't think that bowling people over with carts in Wal Mart to get that "perfect" gift is really what Christmas is about. (Unless its the brown PJ's from La Senza that I am dying for. Then I give my mom full permission to knock people over)I really have a strong love - hate relationship with Wal Mart. But we will save that for another time.

So I will be seeing Borat this weekend. I don't care who goes with me. I want to see it that badly. And I plan on going to the mall to get my picture taken with Santa. I don't care how old I am. I want my picture taken with Santa. And there is the possibility that I will post it on blog world.

But that is all for tonite. I am going to go back to flopping on the couch and watching Season Nine of Friends.

xo

Meh - thats the word to describe today

Today I am sick. With an ugly cold. You know the kind that requires snot running down your face, watery eyes and the choking cough.
Yep, that's the one I have. And no amount of tea is making it go away although it does feel nice on your sore throat.
I didn't go to school. I tried not to move too much and my mom feels the same way. Except the only difference between her and me is that I've had about 12 hours of sleep while my mom has had about two.
So much for going to see Borat tonight and getting my picture taken with Santa. I guess it will just have to wait until the weekend. Like everything else. But the good news is that I have the next two Sundays off because I took them off to finish up projects for school and then I will be working full time during Xmas Vacation.
Catch up with you all later.
xo.
P.S. I will tell you later about my dream about telling Gwen Stefani off and coming up with the term Gwenappy.

And I hope to God I figure out what's wrong

Our Lady Peace - 4 am

How can science tell me that someone who has never raised me, who has never been there for me and abandoned me at the age of five is my father.
He's all I think about recently. This weekend was his birthday and I thought about him but it only upset me.
I often wonder if he thinks about me half as often as I think about him. I wonder if he regrets all the birthdays and Christmas' he missed.
I often wonder what he is doing at this exact moment? Does he know how much I used to miss him? Does he know all the nights I cried for him? I often asked myself what I did wrong? What was wrong with me? What pushed him away from me?
Eventually the tears stopped and I stopped wondering. I figured out that him not coming around was nobody's fault except his own. I was seven years old, there is nothing in this world that I could have done wrong.
When I figured out that I did nothing wrong, I had this overwhelming feeling of hate. But then I considered how do you hate someone you don't know? You can't. You can't hate someone you don't know.
You can't really show emotion for someone you don't know. I choose not to know him. Because the version of him that I do know, scares me. He only comes around in December and makes demands. Then he returns again around my birthday. He claims he wants me to visit him and go out with him and be a part of his life. He only gives me birthday/christmas gifts if I visit with him. But that soon fades away until the following December. He says that he is sorry for all the time that he has missed. But I don't believe a word of it. I don't believe the words of someone who comes around twice a year to disrupt my life and make me cry. I think that if he cared, that he loved half as much as he said he does, he wouldn't put me through the emotional roller coaster. I don't really have any memories that are truly good and the stories my mom has told me are her memories not mine.
And the saddest part of all is that I know when he dies and I stand over that casket I will have so many regrets. I will regret not knowing him. I will regret not giving him another chance. I will regret so many things even though I know they weren't my fault. And I know that I will have nothing kind to say about him because I have yet to see the kind part of him.
This is all I have, this song that I heard so many years ago in his van as he picked me up for a hellish weekend at his house. {It's a pretty good description of our relationship.}
My last words to him were about two years ago and they were "I hate you and I don't want you in my life anymore" - I know one day I will never forgive myself for screaming those words through the phone but that day has yet to come.
And in my mind, the person I call father has nothing to do with science. It has to do with the love, support and guidance he has given me. The person I refer to as Dad, has raised me for the last five years, he has seen me graduate, he has been there when I blow out candles, he has been there on Christmas morning when I open my gifts. He has been there, he has loved me, he has accepted me and in the end that's all that matters.

Why my mom says I can't listen to Zepplin

I'm not a huge Led Zepplin fan and I don't even know if I'm spelling their name right but I have to tell you this. I just finished a conversation with my mom as to why I should not listen to that band. Truth be told I really only like the song "Ramble On" Anyways thats what I was listening to when it began the conversation that Zepplin is Pot Smoking music. Here's how the conversation went. . .

Mom: I thought we agreed this was pot smoking music

Me: Yes, but I like this song and we know that I am way too cheap for pot.

Mom: This is true but I don't want to listen to this

Me: Why?

Mom: Because I'm not smoking weed.

Me: laughing uncontrollably

Mom: Well not anymore I mean - I'm not doing drugs anymore. It's not like I did them last week. Besides you know I can't do drugs.

Me: Why not?

Mom: Because they don't do anything for me.

This is the jist of the conversation. My mom is a spaz and we just finished the conversation as to why she can't do drugs.

But please go down and read about Brit and K-Fed.

Oh How I wish to be a CELEB-RIITAAY

Seems that Ms. Spears latest problem is Fed-X's threats of releasing a sex tape between the two of them. He hopes by blackmailing her with this tape he can achieve his true goals which is $30 Million dollars and the custody of their two children. I have some comments for this ...

1. When will celebrities stop making sex tapes? Don't they know that when a scorned lover gets pissed off, they are going to release this hideous monstrosity that is K-Fed and Brit doing the deed. Or do we have to revisit the Paris Hilton Sex Tape fiasco again?

2. Does Kevin know how to count or has he forgotten the two others he abandoned so he could shack up with Britney?

But there is that incriminating evidence
of Britney driving with Sean Preston on her lap.
That might come back to bite her in the ass, yet again.

3. Does Fed X know that black mail is illegal? I guess not. Especially since he can't remember that he has FOUR children. Good luck getting custody of your kids after you black mail their mother and was spotted stealing your meal from a high end restaraunt in LA. (Yes he was spotted stealing his dinner. He and about 12 wannabe rappers went into a restaurant spent $1200 on dinner and while the waitress was putting the meals in to doggy bags as requested by K-Fed he stole the wine and ran out.)

4. Aside from blackmail, stealing meals and trying not to get himself beat up for recording an album he is going after spousal support. You know most people would try and gain some self respect here, you know like get a real job, find an apartment and try to set up a normal life for himself and prove that he can be a decent father. Nope he's still going to try and mooch off Brit. And for the first time I feel sorry for her. Sorry that she was stupid enough to marry this low life and have not one, but two children with him.

I think Brit will get custody for many reasons and in the words that Brit text messaged to K-Fed "I h8 u loser"

Oh, if only I were a celebrity. I would be Brit's friend right now, she really needs someone to say to her..."You're doing the right thing by dumping K-Fed but you're doing the wrong thing by going around with your hair in that bob you call a haircut."

Abba - Mamma Mia (1975)

I know this is rather random...
But for Interpersonal and Group Dynamics we are the review team this week. So basically, we have to find a creative way to review the material from the text book and share it with the class. And each week IGD has a theme created by the Executive Team. The Executive team is the group who starts the class, ends the class, provides and agenda for the day's class as well as thanks the students for participating. It's a whole lotta work for an elective course. So now you're wondering what ABBA has to do with this ...well I'm getting there. The Executive Team decided that the theme would be Broadway Musicals because it ties into the chapter we are studying. (The chapter we are studying is about Cohesion and working together to create something unique.) So since we are the review team we wrote a song using the Key Terms from the chapter and it is to the song Mama Mia by ABBA. Today was our first rehearsal for the song. So since ABBA is stuck in my head, it should be stuck in your head as well. SO ENJOY!!

P.S. I finally figured out links.

Oh Gwen! When are you going back to your band?

There are many reasons why I hate Gwen Stefani... too many to count.
And it's a shame. It really is because when she was with her band NO DOUBT she rocked.
She was a cool chick but now she is Gwen Stefani, creator of crap.
And that crap includes her fashion line LAMB which stands for get this....Love, Angel, Music, Baby...oh if she were a rich girl. Her crap also includes her solo debut album titled Love, Angel, Music, Baby. More of her crap includes Harajuku girls which are girls that follow her around and are not allowed to speak to the public because and I quote from an interview I say on TV...."Oh you can't talk to them, don't ask them anything." Yes, this was her response when an interviewer asked her about her posse known as the HARAJUKU GIRLS. Her lack of use of a thesaurus and her unique fashion sense make her an easy target for my criticism.
Now to make fun of her lyrical genius...oh which song to choose first, there are so many. Let's go in order of her releasing them.

1. What are you waiting for?
"Look at your watch now You're still a super hot female You got your million-dollar contract And they're all waiting for your hot track" and my fav line..."I can't wait to go back and do Japan Get me lots of brand new fans Osaka, Tokyo You Harajuku girls Damn, you've got some wicked style" - Well I guess we now know where she got her posse and why...

2. Rich Girl
Stole some lines from Fiddler on the Roof... need I say more

3. Holla Back Girl
"I heard that you were talking shit And you didn't think that I would hear it People hear you talking like that, getting everybody fired up So I'm ready to attack, gonna lead the pack Gonna get a touchdown, gonna take you out That's right, put your pom-poms down, getting everybody fired up A few times I've been around that track So it's not just goin' to happen like that Because I ain't no hollaback girl I ain't no hollaback girl" Gwen this song is shit.

4. Cool
Okay, I like this song and it's decent - no need to pick on it.

5. Luxurious
This is Latino inspired...I think. That's as far as I can tell and in the video she holds up her Addida flip flop to the camera...What is that product placement?

6. Crash
This song is so bad that it leaves me speechless. There is absolutely nothing I can say. This song is like a car crash and unfortunately I have seen the video for it. Here's a taste of this crap she calls a song -"Drive back baby to me, fast in your car I'm here waiting, crash into me real hard."

7. Wind it up
This song I stole off the internet. Because I heard part of it on the radio and could not belive my ears. It contains yodelling. Apparently she samples it from the Sound of Music. I have never seen this movie all the way through but I would like to know when Gwen is going to come up with something of her own. She really needs to stop stealing other people's music. (And don't tell me to take my own advice.)

Okay, what next a full description of the Harajuku girls or her lack of fashion sense including her fashion line.

I pick Harajuku girls for $500, Alex.
First of all are you so insecure of yourself that you must hire a posse to follow you around? Second, why aren't they allowed to speak? They are people. Not your minions. You tool. Thirdly, why do you need them, do you really think that this is a positive image you should be sending to the youth? Also, why did you name each one and why did you choose the same name as your album and clothing line. Who can take anybody seriously with the names Love, Angel, Music or
Baby? I can't talk about this anymore. It is way too stupid.

Last but certainly not least... her fashion line or should I say, "Fabric that got stuck in the sewing machine stuck together and I call it a shirt line"Once again, she has used the brilliant name LAMB which is the abbreviation for ...don't make me go there again. I did some research into her clothing line. Okay, I looked at the attrocities she calls clothes. If you go to www.kitson.com (P.S. Anthony Kiedis shops at Kitson in LA) they sell her clothes there including her latest fashion line entitled Harajuku Lovers.

I am not a Harajuku, LAMB lover and I am no longer a Gwen lover. I will never be a Gwen lover ever again. I have no respect for someone who hires four Japanese women to follow her around and not speak. I will not respect someone who flat out says "Yeah I go to Japan but only to get more fans" and I will never purchase her album but I will steal it off the internet. Oh Gwen, if only you had stayed with your band - they were cool. And you have this whole fan base.

P.S. Once again Blogger has ruined my attempts to make a decent post and won't let me upload photos. I will try again later.

Well, this is uh...interesting?

I don't know if anybody watches Wife Swap or Trading Spouses, but in this house certain members do and the rest of us just kinda get sucked in to watching it as well. Well on Wife Swap about a month ago, they featured a family of pirates. Yes, you heard me...pirates. And I must admit, it was hilarious. To watch a family dressed in pirate fashion and call each other names such as Captain and Wench. There's nothing classier. And they had swords and their house was a mess to say the least. . .
So today, I was researching the shows, okay...well I wanted to check out the legalities and such but couldn't find anything. The networks are really keeping their dirty laundry a secret. I couldn't find much except for the pirate family's website and some footage of Mad Sally on youtube.
So if you really want to get some pirattitude check out their website.

www.talklikeapirate.com

or go to youtube.com and search for Mad Sally/Talk like a pirate.

It really is different.

Some Days

Some days I love my job. Other days I hate it. Today I am undecided.
I don't want to be a lifer at my job because lets face it, it's a minimum wage, hell hole with a few perks. Those perks would be the people I work with, I absolutely love them. I really do and my managers love me...they let me get away with almost anything and I have no idea why. The things I cam get away with no one else can...its great. I get along with all the managers except one and she knows who she is and she knows why.
But anyways, today I was dragging my feet because I didn't want to go into work, I didn't want to deal with people, I just couldn't be bothered to do the whole work thing. But I went, I marched through the doors and got ready to wear my green polyester sweater ( I don't care if green is my color, nobody looks good in polyester - cruel and very unusual). Here's the thing, I know once I get to work, that I will have a good time because there is always someone that I get along with.
So I went, slid my badge through the punch clock and got ready to do stuff but to my surprise someone in office trusts me enough to train another cashier. But here's where it gets interesting, she barely speaks English. Fun...I know.
So I introduced myself, asked her what she had already been taught and if she knew her operator number. so, this was going well because she sorta knew what she was doing. And I kept reminding myself of the difficulty I had when I first started. But this girl was soooo slooooowwww. Slower than slow. And she couldn't remember the code for bananas which is the first code they teach you and almost every customer comes through with bananas. So you would think after four hours she would know the code. But nope. So I let it slide because I remember how stressed I was the first few days. Finally the Thursday nite crowd died down and she wanted to know if she could buy food because she was hungry...well the answer would be you have to wait until your break. But this is one more thing she did not understand.
So there we were sitting at our til when a boy came by and started reading magazines. Well this ticked her off....and she told the boy "You can't read that unless you buy it. Are you going to buy it? Do you have money?" The boy just looked at her dumbfounded and startled. And with tears in his eyes he put the magazine back.
I didn't know if I should laugh, cry, tell her that she can't say those things to customers...so I did what I do best...ignore it.
Thankfully, it was time for our break, where she then asked if she could take a magazine up to the break room, read it and put it back. You can guess the answer to that one.
During my break I wanted to avoid her but couldn't because I would have felt guilty about leaving her alone. So I went to the back, talked to my boys in grocery and went upstairs to the room that consists of breaks. Or so its called.
I couldn't wait for her part of the shift to end, because to be honest I don't think she understands what she is doing...at all. And of course they scheduled her for a Saturday...the busiest day of the week. All I have to say is good luck and try not to get fired.
So this was my day at work... but at least I made it there. And I still don't know if I hate or love my job but at least I went and I know for damn sure that I won't be a lifer.

borat movie preview

I want to see this movie...the preview always makes me laugh.
But after you watch this, read the post below about MILFS.

Katie Holmes will never be a MILF

Today, for some unknown reason I was watching an episode of Dawson's Creek. It annoyed me years ago when it came out and it still does today but for some reason I was compelled to watch it. P. S. I lost the remote. So there I was watching Katie Holmes career slowly slide down the toilet when I realised that there is something highly unattractive and awkward about her.
She looks like the girl next door or someone's annoying little sister. Then I found this picture of her trying to look sexy - but it just doesn't happen for her. She comes off looking scary.
You would think that as she got older she would look less like a 12 year old girl but nope. Looks the exact same. Now she's shacked up with Hollywood nut job - Tom Cruise. She also had his baby...even scarier than her trying to look sexy. And yet she still looks like a 12 year old with a little sister and did anybody notice how she looks so similar to Tom Cruise that sometimes I think a) they are the same person b) they are secretly siblings....

Speaking of MILF's here's another one that finally had some sense knocked in to her...you guessed it Brtiney Spears.
Yep that dirtbag on the left, that some refer to as K-Fed, Papa Zao, Mr. Britney Spears has been kicked to the curb.
It's just unfortunate that it took her two years and two kids to realise he was a dirt bag. A greasy one, I might add. For some unknown reason many men consider Britney a MILF but after being with K-Fed, would you still wanna hit that? I think not....
Another MILF that gets on my nerves would be none other than Madge herself. After 20 years she's still the same big skank she was in the late 80's, early 90's. She constantly "re-invents" herself year after year but to me its the same crap just rephrased 38 times or something like that. She has publicly aired where she has been and what she has done and yet she is still considered a MILF. And you know what, I won't lie .... I love 80's Madonna but after a while you just need to give it up and start acting like the soccer mom that you are. Just because you look good for your age does not mean that you should go prancing about the TV screen in leotards...Are you a gymnast? Are you a professional dancer and I don't mean that just because you call yourself one that you are? Has someone classified you(Madonna) as a dancer?


Who do MILF's think they are? really? Hot moms, my ass. But Hot Dads on the other hand....

also blogger = asshat for not letting me put anymore photos in...

Please. Save the Drama for Someone Who Cares. Which is not me.

Friday nite was the first time I had been back to the club since I was uh *escorted* out last month. And this time I went sober, ready to parrtayy in a non drunken way but this being me and my luck being what it is this would not be so. L invited her friends from her old school as well as some that I don't get along with but that was okay, I could play nice for a little while. I know it's hard to believe but I can.
So there we were with her old friends and her new friends and everything was going well but then the drama hit and I can't say that I had nothing to do with it. There is this girl (who brought her semi good looking boyfriend, that was checking me out for the first half of the night and I didn't know that it was her boyfriend) that I absolutely do not get along with but because she is L's friend I was going to play nice and pretend that I like her. So there we were on the dance floor, having a good time, when drama struck the girl I didn't like. And at first I felt bad for her because she was crying and her and her boyfriend were fighting, then I decided "No, I hate her, She's ----- insert some nasty words ----" Then she left and I let a big sigh of relief and said "Thank God" So she left and I thought her boyfriend did too, no my luck would not allow for that.
So there I was ready to shake what my mama gave me, when he returned. But he was not mopey, we were having a good time, dancing to techno and causing psychadellic freakouts ... it was going really well, when he continually became closer and closer to me (I sorta knew this was coming because of the way he had been looking at me all night) and we were dancing together. And I thought "Oh Crap! How do I deal with this?" So I just turned to him with all my finesse and said "I can't do this. I'm sorry" and he just looked at me blankly then uttered the dreaded word "Why?" That's when I knew I had to tell him the truth, that his girlfriend and I hate each other and that we have been waiting for the right time to kick each other's asses. And that whatever was going on between them would probably be solved and if it wasn't I didn't want to be one of the factors for why it wasn't. Truth be told, he was 19, half decent looking, a great dancer and he had a stack of money that would send a golddigger comatose. And I shooed him away. What is wrong with me, you might ask? I'm not sure what is wrong with me, but it's probably a really long list.
So the night went on and I saw rich mystery dancer on my way out and he said nothing and I was okay with that because I had had enough drama for one night. And that excludes the stuff at work as well as the other dramatics that occurred at the club.

Bombed...

Yesterday was D-Day. It was my day to recite the speech I had written about Heidi. I had rewritten it and I loved it. It was fabulous. It was all the things I wanted to say in a more organzied manner. I read that crumpled paper until I memorised the whole thing. I was confident I could do it. I was ready and willing. So when the prof called my name I stood up. I went to the podium. I began my speech. I was doing really well. The prof was enjoying it, then outta nowhere my mind goes blank. I can't remember a damn thing I wrote. Great. People are watching me, I'm stumbling over my words. Think. Think faster. C'mon, you're choking. Crap. I'm slowly sinking. What's a funny Heidi story? Still not coming up with anything. Ok, time to start lying, make some stuff up. Let's finish this. So I rush through the rest. I make something up on the spot and feel like crying. I totally messed this up. I tried to save it but I just couldn't pull it together on time. I gave my toast, slumped back to my seat and waited for the hand on the clock to hit two. I tried to forget what had happened after I wasn't the one who stood up there are cried. I held my own, sort of. I mean at least I finished. Well below the time limit I might add. But hey, speech three is due in two weeks.
At least Halloween was a blast.
I drank Vodka with pirates. [I think my treats may have been quite different from yours.] Took some crazy pictures and went home.
You can see the pictures on Life or Something Like It's blog.
Hope you all enjoyed your nite.

bobby 'boris' pickett & the cryptkickers - monster mash

This is awesome. The opening frightened me a little bit.
OOOOHH SPOOOOOKKY

time to catch up

Yeah my typing is going to blow tonite. But I think I should catch you guys up on what's happening. . .
Today I went to the scariest place of all - the library. I know. And I was quiet and I did't get kicked out. But this is the scariest part - I completed homework. Yep, I finished my creative brief and I rewrote the speech on Heidi. Creepy.
Work has been a total pain in the ass and I bagged off on Sunday. I feel only semi guilty about it. Key word being semi. . .
School is getting busy but I sorta like it because now I have something to do. And I am finally beginning to understand how to use the programs. So it is not a complete drag. Some days I like it, others I don't.
Tomorrow is Hallowe'en and I am beyond pumped. I am so freaking excited. I LOOOOVE HALLOWE'EN. And tomorrow I am going to be a tiger. I don't think I will be able tp go see Rocky Horror Picture Show because I promised to go to a friend's party which I'm just as excited about. And then on Wednesday my morning class was cancelled. Woot!
But this is all I have for now.

HAPPY HALLOWE'EN!!!!!

P.S. If blogger and youtube weren't ass hats there would be many more installments on my countdown to Halloween.

Hocus Pocus - I Put A Spell On You

This is from one of my favorite movies. One of the best Halloween movies out there.

Summer Lovin'

(This top pic is Ruby sleeping on my bed before she was banned from my room.)Finally. I stopped my procrastinating I took my rolls of film and had them developed. So in no particular order they are here. Enjoy!
The aftermath of the Countdown to Billy Idol.
Last Hallowe'en Porky was a bat. Check out the way cool BatHat.
L and I getting ready to PAAARRRTTAAAYY! We spent the majority of our summer looking like this. Which is rather unfortunate.
LOOK at this....A CITY GIRL in the DIRT! I know, very hard to believe. Summer '06

The next pics are smushed together because Blogger is an ASS HAT. Not to be confused with BATHAT. But that adorable Pug down there belongs to Heidi. I wish he were mine but...

The last pic is from Halloween '05. My punk rock friends and I loooove Halloween.
There will be more pics later when Blogger isn't being an asshat.

Ask and You Shall Receive

Here it is... the speech that I think needs some improvement. You know the way it goes. You think you have this really great project completed then outta nowhere you hear someone else's and you think "This is great. Mine is crap" So now I have one more week to make it better than everyone else's and make it so good that I blow everyone else away.

Commemorative Speech
They say first impressions can last a lifetime but if you judged this person based on a first impression than you have no idea what you would be missing. I can tell you exactly what you would see on your first impression, a tiny woman rushing through the door because she is never on time, her pink curly hair blowing in the wind and a vintage tee shirt older than me clung to her body.
This is my Godmother. My best friend. My confidante. Her name is Heidi. She grew up on a farm and has known my family for many years. She has been there for all my ups and all my downs. She has never judged me or criticized me for any of the choices I have ever made. She has celebrated with me and she has cried with me. Her craziness and positive attitude is what has kept me as sane as I can be. (I blame my insanity on her – she dropped me on my head when I was little.) It is with her I can be myself completely. It is with her that I can be absolutely free. All the summers I spent at her house, picking berries, visiting the Studio and aspiring artists, these are my favorite memories. Riding horses at the farm, getting dirty and loving every second of it. Every time I see a lit candle I think of the summer we spent making our own candles which was more of a mess than it was successful.
Heidi gave me my first sketch book when I was eleven. She bought it for me after my grandfather died. It was through this book that she taught me that I could talk to her whenever I wanted all I had to do was pick up the pencil and write or draw. Just keep going until I felt that everything that needed to be said came pouring out. And now seven years later I have more than one sketch book.
Her inspiration and creativity has guided me and helped shape my artistic side. It was her creativity that finally after many attempts enabled her to have her first poem published in a book that will be released some time next year. I am so happy to be a part of her happiness as she celebrates her first piece of literature. I always knew that her writing would be published it was just a matter of time. I remember one of the first books she ever started writing, it was during one of the summers I spent at her house. It was about teenagers doing all the things we are told by our parents not to do. Another book that I remember reading was one about a young girl who everyone considered weird. Publishers criticized her writing calling it dark and claiming “that this was not what they were looking for” but to me this was all the more appealing. Her writing is so unique and different than anything I have ever read. It’s the type of reading that you can’t put down, it’s the type of book that you stay up all night to finish and then read again because it was just that good.
That was the summer we drank some of the Captain and went into the neighbor’s yard. Well let me just say that we went into the neighbor’s yard because they had a huge trampoline and we wanted to try it. Okay, I’m exaggerating this part. We weren’t drunk, but we did have a little rum and we had the neighbor’s permission to use the trampoline.
Summer of 2005 was quite possibly the best summer I ever spent at her house. We had tickets to Billy Idol, and more than a week of summer left where we could do whatever we wanted. We read books, we drank tea in the front window, and we reminisced about days gone by. And when Billy Idol day came we piled into the pit and rocked out like there was no tomorrow. It was the first time in my life where I didn’t care what people thought of me. It was the first concert I ever went to and it is one of the best memories I have. A few months later we saw Hedley. It was another awesome concert. The best part of the night was when Heidi danced on the bar and the bouncers came and told her to get down or get out. Her free spirit was alive that night and encouraged me to fully experience that night.
Her free spirit, creativity and uniqueness are what have brought her to this point. Her first publication, I am so honored and grateful to be a part of this moment. I can’t wait to read the book cover to cover and I look forward to many more publications. Here’s to new beginnings and the future.

Untitledness

I have this assignment due tomorrow and as usual I have left it until last minute. Well if I didn't leave it until last minute it wouldn't be me. It wouldn't follow my pattern of continually screwing myself over. I do it all the time and do I ever learn? Nope. Never. Can't. Won't. Ever. Learn.
So the assignment is to write a speech about someone important in my life. So I chose Heidi. She was the first person that came to mind. And I know exactly what I want to say I just can't put it into words that last four to five minutes. I want to share all my stories, all my memories but those can't fit into five minutes which leaves me sitting here thinking "How will I ever finish this?" And then of course my imaginary ADHD kicks in and I am distracted by things like Blogger and MSN.
So I tell myself "Get back to work" and I do for a few minutes but then I lose my focus and go back to playing Solitaire and chatting with friends and listening to music.
I want to get this done I really do but I'm at a loss for words. So here I sit waiting for an email and hoping that some thunderbolt will come down and strike me. This thunderbolt will give me the words to say what I need to and get me to bed soon so I am not exhausted tomorrow when I have to be in class at 8am.

Remains of the Day

Now a little something from TimBurtonland. This is my favoutite scene from Corpse Bride. If there are any Hallowe'en clips that you would like to see let me know and I will try to post them before Hallowe'en.

Super Freak - Rick James

Another installment of my countdown to Hallowe'en. This isn't necessarily halloween frightening but I find Rick James very frightening. . . . especially those close ups of his face.

Stumped

Yes, I am stumped. As in I have no creative juices. I am supposed to be designing a Children's bookmark using four colors plus, but I cannot think of anything. It's just blah. My other two bookmarks are great. Or so I think they are. Okay, they aren't fantastic but they are done. I just need that third bookmark and I will be completely done the project and I don't have to look at them ever again. I thought about taking images from popular movies but that has already been done. One too many times. So here I am working on an assignment from another class. Leaving my bookmark project to sit and wait for me to come up with something absolutely amazing. Something no one else has done, something so brilliant that even I am amazed at my work. Okay so I was thinking about "borrowing" one of the Girl's Playmobil images and putting that on to a book mark. That's it - all that I've got. Stealing someone else's work. Way to go me. Well I'd ask the Girl first but still, this is bad. Never had this happen before.

Any ideas?????????????????????????Any at all ???????????????????????????????

Whiskas Commercial - Boris

This cracks me up. It's hardcore. Hardcore funny.

Today's word is Grad

I figured that since my Mom and Heidi talked about my grad, maybe I should too because after all it was my grad.
For the most part I enjoyed Grad. It was as if all those feelings we had towards each other were gone. All the stupid fights we had, all the silly things that seemed so important only a few months ago were gone. Everyone seemed so ... different, maybe not mature but different. Only after a few months we were all different, we had all gone our seperate ways. People really surprise you, things you would never imagine someone doing or accomplishing they have done it or are in the process of completing something. Someone I know, who I figured would go to a good school and become a CEO of some big company has left town and is currently travelling the country. People who I thought I would be friends with forever aren't around. People I didn't care to talk to in school are suddenly talking to me and acting like we've known each other forever. And part of this is great, that you can put everything aside to talk to those who you didn't in school but the other part of you is thinking "What is going on here?" Que Twilight Zone theme.
Everything went really well and it was awesome catching up with those that you hadn't seen in a while.
As the ceremony was slowly approaching my friends and I were nervous to walk out in front of hundreds of people, we were all fearing the worst that one of us would fall or trip or find some new way to humiliate ourselves. There was so much excitement but in the end we were sad because we knew that we wouldn't see each other for a while. And a few hours is not enough time to reconnect with people whom we spent the last four years with. . .and no email address or phone number is going to give you the satisfaction that you want.
Standing there in my gown and ridiculous cap, I realised that as much as I hated high school there was a part of me that liked it, a part of me that had some really good times, some really good laughs and some really embarassing moments. But what high school experience wouldn't be complete without making a fool out of yourself at least once in front of your friends or in my case in front of some really hot guys in the snow. There are a few memories that I hope to never forget.
So as we made our way onto stage we all had butterflies and felt like we were going to throw up or fall. Thankfully we all survived and no one fell, threw up or anything along those lines. And before we knew it, it was over. We scribbled some signatures into yearbooks trying to think of something new and original to say to someone who you may never see again but how do you say goodbye in a few short sentences. You can't, so you don't. You say something funny or about the years past and try not to feel bad about it. You pretend that this isn't the end, that you will see these people, that you will talk to them, write them whatever but you know damn well that you won't and that's what is truly sad about people. So I did the best I could, said something funny, wrote down my email and said "Talk to you later"
Before I knew it, it was over and time to go back to my other non - highschool life. The college me. The one that I had forgotten about for a few hours. The one that I had liked forgetting about for a while. I really don't know how I had forgotten though because I looked like a college girl. -Okay I had to just throw that in because I was so impressed with my outifit.
I'm really happy that I went to Grad because I think that it gave me the finality I needed to move on, to be okay with everything in my life that was changing.
And after all, I realise that Grad was not the end, but simply a chance for a new beginning. A beginning that I am looking forward to and when I'm done in two years, I know that it is not the end but another beginning.

2 Cops, 2 Bouncers and the Supervisor

On Sunday nite, there was another all ages at the Club. So my friend L and I decided we wanted to go. We secretly love the Club and never miss an opportunity to go. This time we decided that we were going to go to the Club drunk...which was a really bad idea because we are both underage, there always cops swarming that place and we were going with people from work. So there we were in the Club, having a really good time. I was talking to everybody, dancing and just having fun.
Eventually I went to the bar to get some water and to my surprise the bartender was someone I went to high school with. After talking to her I managed to knock over a table full of drinks. I helped clean them up and went back to the dance floor because hey what is better than drunken dancing? So there we were dancing when I had the brilliant idea of dancing in the moving cages. So we bolted over to the cage to get our chance in the spotlight. Well, little did we know that the stairs up to the cage were covered in water and I fell, hanging on to the poles of the cage for dear life. We danced...we left the cage after what seemed like an eternity but was really only three techno songs. On our way back we ran into my coworkers. So we danced with the coworkers...but not on the dance floor. Then all of a sudden this swarm of people came over to us. At first it was just a few people dressed in regular clothes then to my suprise I had told the Supervisor that I was hammered but it was okay because we were having a good time. At that point the Supervisor said that we needed to leave their establishment. This is when it turns funny.
My friend L approaches the Supervisor and says "Excuse me but we need to stay and you should let us."
The Supervisor then asks "Okay tell me why I should let you two stay?"
L then replied with "Because I am the designated dancer for the night"
The Supervisor highly unimpressed says that some gentlemen are going to follow us out, but she left out that it was a Squad of people including two bouncers, two policemen and the Supervisor herself. As we were leaving the Supervisor told us that we should go home and sleep it off, and my respoonse was "I think you need to go home and sleep it off."
I was pissed that we were kicked out of what they called "their fine establishment"... I was really mad, I paid a $10 cover and was only there for 45 minutes. I don't remember if they said that we couldn't come back but I really don't care because it is only 145 days until I can go to the real bars and don't need to go back to "their fine establishment"
So it was the first time I had ever been kicked out of anywhere and at first I was embarrassed but now I just think it's really funny. I also think that I am really lucky that the police only just walked me to the door . . . especially with the underage drinking and all.
P.S. Last nite was my grad and the bartender was calling me Drunky McGee which only made me laugh.

Michael Jackson - Thriller (Short Version)

I couldn't get the Friday the 13th clip to load ... so you get the next best thing. Later I will share the story of getting kicked out of the bar.

Saturday nite idiots

This past Saturday I was invited to a party for my best friend's (L) brother's 16th birthday. (Wow! That was a mouthful.)
Anyways, I invited CP (Cute Packer from work) to tag along and since we missed the bus we decided to call a cab. And as usual it was up to moi, to do the calling. So I dialed the cab company, and asked for a cab to come to Wendy's and pick us up. And the operator on the other end asked for my name. Well, let me tell you that in my weird, demented and paranoid mind, I refuse to give the cab company my real name. So I gave them CP's. And this was the operator's response. . .
Wow!A---, you have a really feminine voice. It's very beautiful, blah, blah.
My response through tears of laughter was thank you.

After I hung up the phone I could not stop laughing because she thought I was a man since I gave them CP's name. I truly believe that the operator is an idiot. I also think it's hilarious that the operator thinks CP has a feminine voice and that it is quite beautiful. L and I think that CP's rep is ruined now because the operator at the cab company thinks that CP is a girly man.
/The rest of Saturday night was a really big suckfest for reasons I'm not willing to share currently./
It's one of those things where you have to be there. But highly entertaining if you were there. I personally could not stop laughing no matter how hard I tried.

Phrases that should never be taken as a Challenge

Today's post is about phrases that should never be taken as a challenge. I can only think of two examples but they are good ones.

1. All you can eat - just because it says that doesn't mean you should. Trust me.
2. Long Weekend. That might not make sense but it does because long weekends are associated with drinking and so the long weekend should never be about who can drink more. It is not a good idea... ever!

Let me know what you think and what are some other phrases that should not be taken as challenges.

THE ROCKY HORROR PICTURE SHOW / TIME WARP

This is the beginning of the Countdown to Hallowe'en. Stay tuned for Thriller and much more.

Blog Blab - My homework Theory

I'm alive. It's okay, I'm here. I'm just at a loss for things to blog about. So I finally thought of something as I am sitting here doing or not doing my homework. I have developed a theory about homework and it is one that I have followed for years. I have also shared this theory with many people over the years and they now practice it on a regular basis.
So here it is my absolutely fantastic, genius theory regarding homwork.

For Example:
One night you have a project that is due in a couple days and you really don't want to work on it at home. You can't stand to look at it anymore. So you leave it at school, in your locker, in the garbage can - whereever.
When someone asks you if you have homework you say no. And you can say no because...
Did you actually bring any work home with you? The answer is No because you didn't bring your project home therefore defeating the meaning of the word homework.
So if you don't bring work home with you then you don't have homework.

I told you this was a genius idea. And I can say that I have not had homework since school started. Well, I haven't brought work home - if you get what I mean.

"What's wrong with the world mama?"

The title is a line from the Black Eyed Peas "Where is the love?" which is what I am asking you today. I realise that as I channel surf, there have been two school shootings in North America in the last month. How can this be? How can we kill each other? How can we hate each other to the point of wanting to commit murder? What is so wrong that we must pick up a gun and shoot innocent individuals? What could one do to possibly upset someone to the point where they make the choice to bring a gun to school and shoot someone? This does not make any sense to me.
In September, a man in Montreal brought a gun to the college he was attending and shot 12 people, killing one of them.
Now, a boy in rural Pennsylvania shot three girls (between the ages of 6 and 13) execution style.
It's not guns that kill people but people kill people.
I think that we spend way too much time hating each other. Just imagine if we put that much effort into good deeds and helping each other...the world would be a much better place.

"If you got a big ol' booty and you like to shake that mother"

Yeah...I got a big ol' booty and I like to shake that mother...I really do. I shook it so much last night that it hurts. It really hurts. Actually my whole body hurts from last night which leads me to wonder...what did I do last night, except that I was sober so I know what I did last night. And I regret that now, especially after what seemed like the world's longest five hour shift. Yes, I had to work today like every Saturday since I started almost three months ago. But thankfully I didn't have to be there until 12:30...but it was busy and those little hellions people call children were running around everywhere and climbing on the belts and just being little funnels of chaos. I don't think it's cute. I don't think it's funny and I certainly don't want to hear you (the parent) yelling "Stop! You're making a scene." You and your little tard you call a child need to go home and when you learn to behave like a normal human being you can come back to the store. I really wish I could say these things to people but that would not be good for me. I really wish - uh there are just too many things that I would love to tell or do to people. For example I was walking on the sidewalk and this car would not stop honking at me and I have no idea why but I was very tempted to throw my tea at their windshield. But once again I refrained.
I hate being cranky at work but today was just one of those days. One of those days where there wasn't enough coffee in the world to make it a better day. So I'll be much happier when it is finally over and have to do it all again tomorrow...

Tomorrow's Friday...so go ahead, get your sexy on

Yeah you heard me....go ahead get your sexy on. Okay, maybe that doesn't make any sense but hey I stole it from Justin Timberlake.
The whole point is that I'm going to the Club tomorrow night and I am very excited about it. I haven't been there since Labour Day weekend being that I am not 19 and do not have a fake ID...althought I am working on it. I would like one very badly. All my friends are out chillin' at the bar and I'm not...damn me for not being 19 or not having a fake ID. I hate this because I feel so left out.
So L and I are going to get our sexy on according to Justin Timberlake. Cute Packer refuses to go because he is 20 years old and that is just not "his scene"...his words not mine. Whatever, I'm going with a girl from work as well...so this should be interesting and fun. I am so excited and I cannot wait. I feel like I haven't done this in forever but realistically I haven't been to party in a little over a week.
It's going to be a good weekend because this is my big paycheque being that I worked 28 hours last week. The things I will do for my chump change. I worked my first 7 and half hour shift today. I liked it because I got to help train a new girl, do returns and my favouritest job of all - clean the box bin... Cleaning the box bin always leads to finding weird stuff. Tonight I found a long and very wide piece of cardboard that would not bend, so I took into the back where one of the grocery boys held it up so we could kick the shit outta it until it bent. Good times. As Kev says "only at FB does this type of shit happen.." Yes only at FB.
Today at work, someone called the store and said into the phone "How come you kick my dog?" this made us laugh uncontrollably. I am so glad Friday is here again. I need a Friday. I need some more laughs and partying. I miss it. But it's booze free partying which is alot more fun...it really is because you don't feel sick the next day and you can eat and it's just better. Trust me.
So happy Friday everyone and like I said it's okay, go ahead get your sexy on...just not in public.

Kev - this is for you

Recently I have mentioned a character by the name of Kev, in my posts and I realise now that I have not explained who he is or where he came from.
Kev is from school and I met him a couple weeks ago when we ended up in the same group for our Group Dynamics class.
We immediately hit it off well because we are classy people. Well, Kev is much classier than I am -he irons his clothes...what I didn't know that people still did that, let alone that we own an iron in our house...odd..very strange.
Actually Kev and I get great enjoyment from watching other unclassy people do very unattractive things. And we comment on their trashy ways ... he usually makes comments about my trashy ways which only makes me laugh because he is the one that owns a CD called "trashy tunes" with some quality ass slapping on the cover.
We have many conversations about people behind their backs because ... well to say it to their face is just rude. And we aren't that rude. Yet.
Kev is all about the 90's jams. Some are good and others well I could live without them. But I love him anyways... even if he didn't buy me some bling.

P.S. Some things I have learned from Kev...
English slang. don't ask what a minge is ...for the love of God do not ask.
French swearing ... and no I don't mean how we call our bad words french...I mean real French.
Also he informed me about Lindsay Lohan's uh ..fall out? As in her parts fell out because she wasn't wearing underwear.

No Working

Okay...it's not what your thinking. But I better explain before I jump right into the story.
Today Kev decided that we should go to the Mandarin for lunch. And I agreed excited to have something to do for the useless three hour block between my classes today. So we hopped in Kev's car and drove the thirty minutes to Missisauga. The tuneage in the car was hits of the 90's - very funny the things that used to be cool and hip. Good laughs all the way there...I also learned some French...and some English slang...thanks Kev...
So when we arrived at our destination, at our table for 12 was full and everyone was stuffing their face at the $10.99 buffet. Yeah, good eats for hungry college students. I as usual sat right next to Kev where we could make fun of people but not to their face of course, because that is just mean. Kev wanted to hit the dessert table first and I can't blame him but like a good boy he waited and ate real food first.
I always find it funny that you go to a Chinese buffet for Chinese food and they serve things like pizza, mashed potatoes, caesar salad, french fries. But then it leaves me wondering do the Chinese have Canadian buffets or as Kev calls them North American buffets where they serve things like PizzaPizza, McDonald's etc? That would be weird.
So after some face stuffing it was time to leave and head back to class...Advertising to be exact. So Aislin and I hit the bathroom where a the faucet was taped up with a note that read "No Working" and the fact that we had been up since 6am, that made us laugh histerically. Like raving lunatics. As we left the bathroom rolling with laughter we grabbed some desserts off a tray and headed out to the car. I had a very tasty chocolate covered strawberry.
I don't think they want us back at the Mandarin...not for a while anyways because I don't think a $20 tip for 12 people equals the chaos we caused.
So today's life lesson is that I, The Adult in Question can not behave in public and I cannot eat or be polite in a restaurant. It is absolutely 100% impossible for me to do that.

Your rug is on the ground

This afternoon I was on my way to work to pick up my cheque when I saw the funniest thing happen...
A man was loading his groceries into his cart when .... a strong wind came blowing his toupee right off his head. Then to make the situation worse he pretended it wasn't his toupee.
I watched this and laughed my ass off. I was very tempted to say "Sir, you're rug is on the ground, blowing away." When the toupee was gone it revealed a skullet....highly unattractive.
So then I had to share this funny thing with someone so I called my mom and Kev at work to tell them.
I actually got called into work so then I had to tell all the people there. I told every single cashier and manager and some of the produce guys. It was that funny.
The nice thing about call ins is that after you do two in a week the managers are willing to put up with any of your shit. So you can walk around, talk to people, go to Tim Horton's across the street. Anything....so that's what I did, I went to Tim Horton's had some coffee, wore my black track pants and nobody said anything because I have saved the managers asses twice this week including on ER night. So that was my second funny experience at work this week.
And because I am so tired I am still laughing insanely.

Rancid - Fall Back Down

This is for my punk rock friends whom I miss very much...

Rancid - Fall Back Down

For my punk rock friends whom I miss very much.

This sh*t is Bananas

Today I worked the best shift ever in the history of me working. It was bananas as in we were in the back room throwing bananas at each other. . . N threw a banana so hard it hit the wall and splattered. It made me laugh and the manager did a whole lot of nothing. It was highly entertaining - I now love the guys in produce. I used to be afraid of them but now I want to be transferred to produce if this is what they do all day. I could throw around produce and harass the guys in grocery.
Then after the produce war, I went to my register to serve the public - I've been told that that is my job. So there I was at my register when some cashiers and I started talking about squirrels specifically people who have been attacked by the little devils. Highly entertaining. Squirrels = bastards.
There was more randomosity tonite than ever before and because I was called in I was able to basically do what ever I want. I wish I could do that every single shift. It was funny, in fact I'm still laughing. HAHAHAHAHAHA

Punk Rock kinda Day

I love punk rockers. They are some of the most polite people I have EVER met. And I miss my punk rock friends. They're all in high school or living in their parent's basements but hey - they don't judge. Plus, they know who the Sex Pistols are and they don't give you the "What the Eff?" face.
I wanted to post Rancid's "Fall Back Down" video today but Blogger and Youtube have made a joint decision to not let that happen. Damn you!
I decided that I was going to have a punk rock day today and not give a fuck about anything or anyone.
So I highly recommend some Rancid - if you're feeling punk rock.

More Randomosity

Yep, I am using my word again to talk about some random things today...

• My parents five year anniversary is today so I am going to build them a cake. Or possibly buy one.
• It's very hard to bring SexyBack when you're feeling sick.
• I agree with Phoebe from "Friends" - what kind of cruel person names their daughter Bethel
• Why aren't the tattoo parlours open at noon?!!! Hello, some of us want to get inked?
• What does haver mean?! And why is MxPx havering into their girlfriends?
• Why do I keep missing my chance to win Motley Crue tickets?
• Is Blue October considered an "EMO" band because if so I can't listen to them anymore?
• My mom signed an online petition to free Dog the Bounty Hunter because she thinks it's complete bullshit
• Why must Nickelback suck so much with their catchy tunes and why do the people of Aurora call them Nickelcrap and where did that term come from?
• Work has decided to suck the life outta me and therefore I cannot go to my friend B's 19th birthday party...
• Why must hot guitar player have a girlfriend that isn't me?
• I think I might go see Jackass 2 this weekend

And I think that's it for random thoughts in my head today...

Drinkin' in ...Week 6

Take a few lessons from an Underage Drinker...

Last nite was a continuation of my partying for weeks in a row. Last nite was weekend number 6...I'm impressed that I'm still alive. Especially after having some really disgusting Bacardi Limon but between three people it was gone by the end of the nite. Thanks to L...woot! She once again drank more than anyone else. It was my weekend to pay for the booze so I bought a 26er of Bacardi which I did not enjoy courtesy of people kicking it over. It was a weird, fun time. And 1. I have learned that I can not play ANY card games. Last night we played Asshole which I lost at twice therefore making me the asshole. All i needed was the empty case of beer on my head with the word "asshole" written on it and it would have been a perfect night.
2. Now, that I am a few years older I realise why my older friends hated partying with me when I was 16. It's annoying and uh! It sucks. You get parents showing up and so on and so forth. It's just a big mess and I hate it and I now realise why it sucks partying with kids...not that I'm a grown up exactly but closer to 19 then any of them. I wanted to be shitfaced like everyone else but it just wasn't happening for me. I was in the mood to be totally trashed but it was happening...and it was extra lemony...which wasn't very pleasant.
3.The only upside to the Bacardi was now when I do my project for school (creating an Advertisement for Bacardi Limon) I can say that I have tasted the product. The party was at T's house and it wasn't so much of a party as it was a bunch of people from my highschool getting shitfaced with girls way too young for them. I brought Cute Packer with me and L. But then again I bring L everywhere with me.
4.I have also learned that any type of Rum is not my friend...and it leaves you with a killer headache in the morning. Yep, I had a headache this morning and I had to be at work for 9:30 meaning I was up at 7:30 which was very hard for me considering that I didn't get to sleep until some time after 2am. But I think I would do it all over again.
In the words of a close friend "You only live once. . . "

Yes I know my friend stole it from someone much wiser but hey you get the point...

Ridiculous Song Lyrics

Here are some examples to prove my point....and I don't listen to all of these songs...

Fergie's London Bridge
"How come everytime you come around my london bridge wanna go down like..." and
"Fergie Ferg love you long time" I wish I had a name like Fergie Ferg

Sean Paul, Lil John - Culo
"If you shave it I'm going to give you some mighty tongue" Eww!

Shania Twain
"Whose bed have your boots been under?" I had to ask what the hell this meant...and you don't want to know if you aren't already informed.

Eminem feat Nate Dogg - Shake That
" I get more ass than a toilet seat"
"I want a girl with apple bottom jeans and a big ol' freak in the bed"
"Hope you don't mind but I told Nate how you like it from behind..." Secretly, I love this song even thought it's 100% disgusting and demeaning to women.

Nelly Furtado feat Timbaland - Promiscuous
"Is your game MVP like Steve Nash" Nelly used to be so cooler when she was more a flok singer rather than a uh...(insert your own word)

Poison - Talk Dirty to Me
"...Lock the cellar door" Creepy. I would definately not lock the cellar door...wait I'm afraid of the cellar.

Gilette - Short Dick Man
'nuff said about that one

Pussy Cat Dolls - Buttons
"Loosen up my buttons babe...you keep saying what you gonna do to me, but you keep frontin' babe..." I like this song even if it is about a girl wanting a boy to *play* with her...damn you PCD for being so damn catchy.

Pussy Cat Dolls - Don't Cha
"Don't cha wish your girlfriend was hot like me?" Slut!

Lil John -? basically every song he has...
" We want a lady in the street but a freak in the bed" Hahahaha...Very Funny. Boys are perverts.

Pussy Cat Dolls feat Will.i.am - Beep
"You got a real big heart but I'm looking at your...I'm a keep doing my thing while your playing with your..." If I saw a guy doing that while I was dancing...

Gwen Stefani- Holla Back girl
"This shhhh is bananas..." she can't even say the word shit. My mom says this shit is shit.

Gwen Stefani - What you waiting for?
I can't even get started on this song because its all uh, bananas?

Okay and that's all I can think of right now. I had a million bad songs in my head today but now I can't remember any of them. They will come back to me later and I will add them to the list of lyrical genius. . . .If this is the way it goes than I can definately be a songwriter.

Randomosity

Yes that is a word I have made up...It's to describe today's entry.

These are the things I think about in class...

1. Why do we have seagulls downtown? We are nowhere near a sea.
2. Why isn't Fergie wearing pants in her London Bridge video?
3. What is her London Bridge?
4. Why is it in the song "Talk to Dirty to Me" by Poison that they are getting it on in the cellar? CREEEEEEPY! I would definately NOT lock the cellar door.
5. When did Sexy leave and why is it up to Justin Timberlake to bring it back?
6. When is Raine Maida going to stop whining and start singing? We all remember the tune "Superman's Dead" right? It's been years ....
7. How did Paris Hilton get a recording contract? There is still hope for me.
8. Dane Cook handing Mischa Barton a sandwhich at the MTV awards was kind of mean but very funny...I laughed.
9. I wonder if I can peace out of this class and go to the Sanctuary...crap, 80% of my mark is based on attendance.
10. What would I do with a million dollars? Hmm....get my G1 and driver training, buy lots of shoes and a house to wear them in, make Billy Idol play in my backyard with lots of kegs for me and my friends....buy a Dalmatian Dog, a Boxer, pay someone to get rid of my mom's Yoda lamp, buy Heidi a new Raoul and uh....any other thing I can do to waste a million dollars
11. When I grow up I'm going to drive the biggest, most obnoxious truck ever made.
12. I wonder if I can wear .... and get away with it
13. Wow! This hip hop music I listen to is rude and dirty but very funny.
14. Why did Gwen go solo? Now she is a big suckfest.
15. What the hell are harujuku girls? Why would anyone want harujuku girls? I've got a big enough fan club I don't need skinny women dressed in what are supposed to clothes but really just look....anyways I don't need a posse to prove that I'm cool.
16. What does it mean when the Black Eyed Peas sing "I'm going to get you drunk up off this hump" huh? They are going to get me drunk by looking at Fergie's lady lumps? GROSS
17. Damn Green Day for selling out. Bastards. You used to be so cool, but now you sing about Jesus of Suburbia....what the eff?
18. I wish my mom still had her 80's clothes it would save me a boatload of money.
19. Why does Madonna think she's cool? Uh hello, yeah Madonna you're a soccer mom....Get the leotards off you tard and dress like the mom you are...

Yep, it's good to see that there is some train of thought in my head, now if it would only go back to Advertising and not this stuff. Let me know if you have answers to any of this....I really need to know. Maybe tomorrow I will have a list of things I think about when I'm at work.

I GIVE UP...already

I give up...on everything. Frustrated. Tired. Bored. Annoyed. This describes what I'm feeling today. My day started off as any Monday should with an eight am class which I was late for by now fault of my own. The bus I was riding on to school decided that it would hit the car in front of us leaving it's passengers to walk down the rest of the highway on to campus. So here I am tired, cold and pissed off that I am being forced to walk down the highway when I paid $185 for a bus pass. I finally arrive to class only to sit at the computer desk that has the broken everything and me being technologically handicapped unable to fix it. At this point I want to hide in the bathroom and cry. After class I had a three hour period before my next class so I did what any college girl would do....went to the sanctuary to have a nap on one of the lovely leather couches. It was rather enjoyable for about twenty minutes when I had to get up and do stuff. My classes frustrate the hell outta me because I'm paying an insane amount of money to draw pictures and answer fill in the blanks worksheets. I'm so used to my university level classes and busting my ass to make the grade that this is boring the hell outta me. I just feel like screaming "Give me something to do!" And I'm the only person that feels this way. It's very frustrating when you want to work and have nothing to do. I hate my eight am classes with the three hour break in between because its not enough time to do anything...and as much as I hate work somedays I would like to have more than two shifts a week or at least a decent schedule that didn't destroy my whole week.
Okay, I'm done bitching now.

Work...

Now, that I am in school full time again I actually miss work. I miss the people, the annoying customers - all of it. So today, when I had to go in I was so psyched. But there is always that one person who wrecks it for you. And that is the one person you would like to kick in the shin? Despite the fact that I was midly hung over I was so excited to be at work. I was happily serving a customer when my Manager who we shall call Anne came over and started bitching at me. She is 19, works in the office and thinks her shit don't stink. I hate her. Very Much. She is a glorified cashier. And she makes my life hell.

Today after I served my mom threw my register she comes over to me and says:
ANNE: You can't serve family or friends ok?
ME: Okay, but nobody told me that before. Why wasn't it part of the training? That's kind of important...
ANNE: What does it matter? I'm telling you now ok.
Anne walks away and under my breathe I muttered the words ASS HAT.
Later, Anne is at my register for a pick up. A customer asks "Do you have any cases of Nestle Water left?"
My reply was "I'm sorry I don't know. Anne do you know if we have any water left?"
Anne: "UH I don't know. I don't know where anything is and does it look like I work in grocery? You should know by now that you have to call one of the grocery boys..."
So Anne called the grocery boys, picked up all my extra $20 bills and thankfully left. I have no idea why she pisses me off so much but she does and leaves me feeling like I want to cry. I don't actually cry I just feel like it. And I would never cry because then she would get some sort of satisfaction out of it and that would piss me off even more. The rest of my shift seemed to go by v e r y s l o w l y. . . . . . . . . .and I wanted to go home very badly. Eventually my shift ended and I was relieved of this temporary hell people call work. It pissed me off so much because I was having such a good day and she ruined it. It's partly my fault because I let her ruin it but she's an ASS HAT. ASS HATS have the job of ruining people's lives and fucking them up even if temporarily. So, that was work and uh! But on the upside last nite was good.

Just a quick update...I'm still alive. I survived my first week of college. It was weird, definately not what I'm used to but I'll manage hopefully.
I miss L very much. I'm used to seeing her at least once a week and now I suffer from L withdrawl.
Worked ONE shift this week. Don't get me started on those ass hats.
Went and saw Beerfest last nite and loved it. But the best part is that I went with Cute Packer and tonight I'm going to a party at his house. (His big move last nite was holding my hand...very disappointed...)Then I think we're going to try and get me into the bar. So since this is the plan for tonight. I, naturally had to go shopping so that I look like a grown up and not a 14 year old. I realised this today when I was sitting in class and realised "Wow! I'm wearing the same clothes I did in Grade Nine. " Now, I'm almost broke and waiting for L to call because I want her to come with me tonight...lucky girl is 17 and never gets carded. But I on the other hand have 194 days until I can drink legally and always get carded. But on the upside this will be my fourth week in a row partying. Woot! Going for a record.
Well, that's all for now...I'm going to get ready so I look super hot tonight.

10 Things I will Never Get Used to at College

1. Getting coffee from a place that doesn't start with Tim and end in Hortons
2. Not having a locker to put my things in...
3. Having to think about what I'm going to wear
4. Just getting up to go to the bathroom without asking anybody
5. Calling your teacher by their first name
6. Leaving class fifteen minutes early without a warning bell or anything
7. Having people in my class old enough to be my mother/father
8. Being able to chat on MSN Messenger or surf the net while your teacher is lecturing
9. Going to the Gym between classes...something I never had time for or the opportunity to do before
10. Not having to worry about what the Plastics think because there aren't any and the ones that are plastic aren't mean.

100% Columbian

This morning I kept with tradition and arrived to class late. I'm never on time and I thought it was funny but fortunately they hadn't called my name yet so I snuck in and took the nearest available seat. I struggled through the first hour because there is nothing worse than five hours sleep and trying to decipher and computer program. I must say that I did better than my first day of high school because I didn't loose my schedule or cry. I just pretended to know where everything was and made like I was a second year.
Then, I made a new friend and it's name is 100% Columbian coffee. He's my friend because he helped me survive my first morning class and gave me a good kick in the pants when I was groggy and ready to fall asleep - face smashed against the key board and a computer monitor blabbing on about QuarkXpress 6. By the way QuarkXpress 6 is the name of the new computer program I must learn....
After my kick in the pants, and one frustrating hour later I was faced with the dilemma of what the fuck do I do for an hour because I don't know anyone here. So I made like I knew my way around the school and wandered out to a picnic table where I made a list of things that I had been thinking this morning. That list included...
Why am I here?
I don't want to be here.
Mind you, it's all in my attitude, think positive....fuck this
I wish I was confident and had the ability just to walk over and start talking to people.
Those were just some of the things that ran through my head.
Eventually I saw someone from my program and we walked to our next class together. We had a class on the fourth floor and every single person we asked had no idea as to how to get there. I seriously thought this was some kind of joke that they play on the first years because even the teachers didn't know how to get there. Eventually, someone gave us the right directions. And when we finally arrived at our destination the class had been changed so we had to go right back to where we started. Longest version of musical chairs ever...
We finally settled only to get back up again and present ourselves to the class...yeah I forgot that I was being forced to take a class called "Presentation Skills" it sucked we had to draw pictures and then describe them and what they meant to us...I drew a horse, a plane and a picture of my family...

It looked like this but the picture of the horse was pretty amazing. I was impressed. Then I went and tried to explain my pictures. How on earth does one explain that monstrosity? Well I did very quickly then felt like throwing up because I don't do presentations well, so I guess that's why I have to spend about forty hours in that class. Back to my picture for a minute though...notice how my hair is unbrushed like in real life and my mom has a scowl on her face. J has big feet and K has a size zero waist...it's like in real life. Also, look at the size of Large man's head, if you ask me everything is to proportion.

After class, I had to go to the bathroom very badly...then one of the girls from my program gave me a drive home. We were bonding over loser ex boyfriends and parties.

Alive ... Barely

I decided that because this was my last free weekend before we all return to the place whose name I refuse to speak that we should go out with a bang. And that's exactly what I did.
Friday night, work let me leave early so I made an appearance at this train wreck of a party. By the time I got there everyone was so drunk and there were 14, 15,16 year old girls falling over everywhere. But what made it worse was these girls were participating in acts that I never want to see again and videotaping them. Then the people who had boy/girlfriends sent the footage to their boy/girl friends at work etc. Girls were leaning over the balcony blowing chunks everywhere. The only other person who wasn't drunk was D who was trying to hook up with me and it was a definate "No"...not with him. But I must admit I did encourage the boozing by opening amd mixing drinks for people. I even did "shots" with these people. Okay so I filled up their shot glasses with vodka and mine with water but nobody except me knows that. After some prostitots did some falling, stumbling, passing out, the land lady showed up and told us to simmer down or she'd bring the cops. That's about the time I peaced out...As soon as I heard the word cops I was like "Thanks for the invite...peace out!" I caught the bus and went home, I was not having any part of police action.
Saturday, was a suckfest that involved Auntie Posh yelling at me for procrastinating about getting my bus pass and some craptastic work. Work was bad ... it made me close to crying. SO Let's not talk about that.
Sunday night...time to hit the club with L, guy from school, KK and her boyfriend CC. L and I partied like there was no tomorrow. CC was a little scarred from the whole hip hop, wigger exprience. Guy from school is totally in love with L and wouldn't leave her alone all night. Even after L told him she was interested in someone that wasn't him. And let me just say L has very good taste when it comes to guys. Unfortunately the Wrinkle Ranch came to us last night. Just because it says "All Ages" that doesn't mean people my parents age should be dancing with 15 year old girls. Okay so I don't think being in your thirties is old but it's too old, to be dancing with 15 year old girls ...it's gross. The thing I love about L's interest is that he is intimidating and he can get rid of any unwanted guy with what he calls "The Stare"L and I danced in the cages not once, not twice but three times...We had no choice the place was packed and there was no dancing space. (All I can say is that I'm glad I wore boxers under my mini skirt.) Guy from school is madly in love with L and she told him that she wasn't interested in him but he's a persistent little bugger. So I did the only thing I could think of...corral L's interest onto the dance floor and pray that guy from school would take a hint. Which he finally did and L was very pleased that I got her interest on the dance floor. But I must admit it wasn't very hard because he likes L and was tanked enough to dance. The Wrinkle Ranch was a kind of a pisser last night because they can't take a hint either, but that's why we have L's interest to give them the stare. Or the fact that he's rather tall, broad shouldered and a known football player. KK and CC left around 11:30 (and I think they won't be back for a long time because the whole hip hop, wrinkle ranch, wigger, drunkness and nakedness scared them away).Too bad they couldn't take guy from school with them. At around 1:30 Cute Packer showed up! He grabbed me and pulled me on the dance floor. He must have been on his way to drunk because he never dances like he did last night (and that's all I'm going to say about that)...At around 2:30 it started to wind down and a huge fight had started in the parking lot. The fight was so bad that they had to block off the main street, 10 cop cars were there, a van and some of those useless cops on bicycles. L and Cute Packer wanted to stick around and watch but I made sure we didn't. I had already been pushed around enough inside by the other five fights that had started. So Cute Packer walked L and I back to my place where we talked for a bit, then he called a taxi to go home. By the time L and I got to bed it was almost 3:30 and L had to be up for work at 5:30. I don't really remember her leaving this morning either (guess that makes me a bad friend). It was intense last night and I must admit that I would do it all over again. Even though they didn't play my song...Shake that Ass by Eminem and Nate Dogg. My one regret is that I didn't start going to the Club earlier in the Summer.
So as I sit here remembering last night I wonder...

1. Do parent know that their kids are dancing like strippers?
2. Do parents let their kids out of the house wearing just their underwear?
3. Do parents know their kids sneak into the 19+ area and get shitfaced...which I'm kind of jealous about

The answer ...probably not.

L wants to do this again and I think I might have to, as long as no one actually knows what club we are going to and that I'm not 19 yet...(7 months) so close yet so far away...

Good Charlotte - Lifestyles Of The Rich & Famous

Well, I went out with Auntie Posh yesterday and it was less than fun to say the least.
But in other news whatever happened to these wannabe punks? I mean aside from Joel Madden becoming Hilary Duff's bitch...
These guys had some catchy little songs that secretly I enjoy.

Jacob H : Encore of I want you to want me

Pre Hedley Jacob Hoggard but notice the T-shirt he's wearing...

Hedley- Gunnin'

This is my favourite Hedley song. And I finally found the video for it.