I know that it's not monday and I'm two days late but at least it's finally here.
When we left off Glynnis was asking James what the purpose of life was for human beings.
"Well, we are human beings. We live, we breathe, we show emotion, we feel pain, and we function outside a cold exterior. We are more than physical appearances; we are souls yearning to have purpose, yearning to have passion, yearning to love, yearning for all sorts of things outside of scientific research."
Glynnis had no response; no way to answer his question, all she could do was nod her head and let him know that he could continue speaking.
"You see Glynnis; I sat next to you because I knew that you were different than everyone else in this room. Everyone else was chattering and drinking coffee while you just sat there as if you were a destitute soul. I knew that you and I would get along once I was able to attract your attention in my direction, unfortunately it took me insulting you for you to respond."
Glynnis suddenly felt betrayed by this man, he had tricked her into conversation, and she had given him attention, suffered through his ranting. This is meaningless she thought to herself. This whole conversation was a meaningless waste of time.
"I know Glynnis that you are upset and hurt by my con but I had to speak to with you because I knew that you would understand my appreciation for life, that you would know that all this change is wrong not just morally but socially. You too, know that this is like a snake, waiting to go full circle and bite it's own tail. I know that we, I mean us two people cannot prevent the future but we can be conscious people unlike the rest of these people waiting to be turned into a machine, waiting to become scientific research."
Glynnis sat there sipping her coffee and trying to grasp what this man was telling her about human beings. It was unconcieveable to believe that this elderly man knew so much about today and the future. She thought what this man could offer if he were younger, what he could change before he was to complete his life cycle. "You know, I will never know what you are thinking or what you have thought in the last little while and I do not expect you to share your thoughts but please remember life is living not machining."
As she began to respond she noticed the rain had stopped. She peered out the window watching as the droplets slowly began to disappear, she turned back to where James was sitting and he too like the rain had disappeared. Glynnis could not decipher if this conversation was in her head or had it actually occurred. She sat at the table and thought about life as a natural process like the rain and realised how magnificent nature could truly be. Just then a waitress appeared "Would you like some more coffee?" She stated in her Brooklyn accent.
"Um, no, but thanks anyway." Glynnis told her. Glynnis moved away from the table and headed for the door and on her way out she threw her umbrella in the trash. Glynnis had made the choice that from now on she was going to experience the rain and all it had to offer.
Wednesday, January 31, 2007
Monday, January 29, 2007
uh Sleep..soon
I know that I promised the last installment of my story today, but I am so freakin' tired. Mondays are always really long days I leave my house at 8am and come home at 6pm. It really sucks, so I promise that the last part of my story will be posted this week. Thanks for your patience and I will check in on all of you. But for now I'm going to get my bag ready for school and then I'm going to bed.
P.S. it'd 7:30 pm.
P.S. it'd 7:30 pm.
Tuesday, January 23, 2007
yeah, I'm a rebel
Actually, I am not a rebel. I dream of being one but don't have the moxey.
But this is a good story.
Saturday, after my breakfast date with Aunt Posh, I made the bold decision to get a tattoo. She distinctly told me not to, several times. I had this overwhelming feeling that this was something I HAD to do.
It was something that I have been thinking about for a very long time. It just happened that this particular Saturday, I had the courage or stupidity to do it.
My mom and my sisters had bets on wether I would do it or wether I would cry while having the tattoo done.
I did get it done, in fact I went first. I watched the whole time and was right in their like a dirty shirt. And I did not cry either. It hurt a little bit and I would never get another one.
I really like this one though, it's a shamrock on my left ankle but on the inside so I can hide it I choose to do so. I love it. I keep looking at it because I can't believe that I had the courage and stupidity to spend $60 on a permanent body alteration.
I keep thinking that I have something stuck to my leg but then I remember "Oh, yeah, that's m
y tattoo." It's like a sticker that won't come off. Yeah, that's right, that's my comparison.
Anyways, here is the picture. Sorry, my legs are really pale, apparently I have never heard of sunlight.
But this is a good story.
Saturday, after my breakfast date with Aunt Posh, I made the bold decision to get a tattoo. She distinctly told me not to, several times. I had this overwhelming feeling that this was something I HAD to do.
It was something that I have been thinking about for a very long time. It just happened that this particular Saturday, I had the courage or stupidity to do it.
My mom and my sisters had bets on wether I would do it or wether I would cry while having the tattoo done.
I did get it done, in fact I went first. I watched the whole time and was right in their like a dirty shirt. And I did not cry either. It hurt a little bit and I would never get another one.
I really like this one though, it's a shamrock on my left ankle but on the inside so I can hide it I choose to do so. I love it. I keep looking at it because I can't believe that I had the courage and stupidity to spend $60 on a permanent body alteration.
I keep thinking that I have something stuck to my leg but then I remember "Oh, yeah, that's m
y tattoo." It's like a sticker that won't come off. Yeah, that's right, that's my comparison.Anyways, here is the picture. Sorry, my legs are really pale, apparently I have never heard of sunlight.
Monday, January 22, 2007
"Dicktionary"
I figured since Webster's has a dictionary I should too.
I am going to list many of the words in my vocabulary and what they mean to me. According to "Mr. I'm so good, that I have more than one version of me Webster's Dictionary" my words may not mean the same thing. Oh and my dictionary is not in alphabetical order.
Pervert Promoter Someone in the work place who often makes inappropriate and sexual jokes. This person often encourages this behavior amongst other employees. Therefore this person is a) a pervert and b) a promoter.
Randomosity a word used to describe a variety of things that often don't make sense and have no specific order. For example my blog is randomosity. Nothing here makes sense nor follows a pattern.
Whateve's a word stolen from Heidi, it is the short, abbreviated form of the word "Whatever"
Bajillion a number so large that it can not be counted or measured. It is so big that there is not enough money in the world to satisfy this number.
Blog Blaahb pronounced "Blaaaabbbb" a term that I stole from MuchMusic but put my own spin on by adding the letter 'h'. Also, this word is used to describe the sayings/writings that appear in one's blog.
Ass - Bitch someone who is not just an asshole or a bitch but both of them. Putting the words together to create one compound word makes an insult much easier to deliver.
The Dungeon the computer lab at school, that I am forced to sit in for hours at a time. There are no windows, limited lighting and 40 buzzing computer screens.
I am going to list many of the words in my vocabulary and what they mean to me. According to "Mr. I'm so good, that I have more than one version of me Webster's Dictionary" my words may not mean the same thing. Oh and my dictionary is not in alphabetical order.
Pervert Promoter Someone in the work place who often makes inappropriate and sexual jokes. This person often encourages this behavior amongst other employees. Therefore this person is a) a pervert and b) a promoter.
Randomosity a word used to describe a variety of things that often don't make sense and have no specific order. For example my blog is randomosity. Nothing here makes sense nor follows a pattern.
Whateve's a word stolen from Heidi, it is the short, abbreviated form of the word "Whatever"
Bajillion a number so large that it can not be counted or measured. It is so big that there is not enough money in the world to satisfy this number.
Blog Blaahb pronounced "Blaaaabbbb" a term that I stole from MuchMusic but put my own spin on by adding the letter 'h'. Also, this word is used to describe the sayings/writings that appear in one's blog.
Ass - Bitch someone who is not just an asshole or a bitch but both of them. Putting the words together to create one compound word makes an insult much easier to deliver.
The Dungeon the computer lab at school, that I am forced to sit in for hours at a time. There are no windows, limited lighting and 40 buzzing computer screens.
The Pen my old high school, that is all grey and dreary but at least it has windows. From a distance it looks like a prison minus the fences and security. But there are a few cranky teachers who might cut a bitch.
Okay, this is all I have for now, I'm sure that more of my stupid words and phrases will be added to the list eventually.Wednesday, January 17, 2007
Part Two of Story Time with The Adult in Question
Have I kept you waiting long enough? Are you dying to read some more of my story?
I hope so... so here it is, the next installment of Rains of Existence.
It was the perfect plan until. . .
"Life is a gift and people take it for granted" he told her. "Everyone is so wrapped up in chaos and how they can get ahead in life no one ever gives a damn about anyone. It's not even youth anymore, its adults, children and people my age. Children used to have such beautiful innocence until all of this, this corruption, this demonic presence that has entered every human being and turned them into relentless money making machines."
Glynnis was intrigued by this man's ravings and wanted to know more because she was beginning to think that he had a point. "What do you mean by demonic presence and machines?" she inquired.
"Well before all this technology we used to just accept one another for whom they are and what they had to offer society but now parents want to 'engineer' their babies in hope of making them better and they want their elderly to be cloned so that life will be easier for all of them." It's never going to be 'easier' or 'better' because new problems will just arise. There is never a final solution only a temporary one allowing for new disasters to enter our realm. If we continue to change and modify what is right here in front of us, how will we ever know what is real and what is not? Life has a natural cycle and these hoodlums known as scientists are destroying it with their advancements, life and human beings are being treated as machines and systems not for what they really are."
"So, if we are not machines and systems that what are we, what is our purpose?"
This was Glynnis's question; she wanted to know what James could possibly say to this.
Stay tuned to find out what happens.
I hope so... so here it is, the next installment of Rains of Existence.
It was the perfect plan until. . .
"Life is a gift and people take it for granted" he told her. "Everyone is so wrapped up in chaos and how they can get ahead in life no one ever gives a damn about anyone. It's not even youth anymore, its adults, children and people my age. Children used to have such beautiful innocence until all of this, this corruption, this demonic presence that has entered every human being and turned them into relentless money making machines."
Glynnis was intrigued by this man's ravings and wanted to know more because she was beginning to think that he had a point. "What do you mean by demonic presence and machines?" she inquired.
"Well before all this technology we used to just accept one another for whom they are and what they had to offer society but now parents want to 'engineer' their babies in hope of making them better and they want their elderly to be cloned so that life will be easier for all of them." It's never going to be 'easier' or 'better' because new problems will just arise. There is never a final solution only a temporary one allowing for new disasters to enter our realm. If we continue to change and modify what is right here in front of us, how will we ever know what is real and what is not? Life has a natural cycle and these hoodlums known as scientists are destroying it with their advancements, life and human beings are being treated as machines and systems not for what they really are."
"So, if we are not machines and systems that what are we, what is our purpose?"
This was Glynnis's question; she wanted to know what James could possibly say to this.
Stay tuned to find out what happens.
Monday, January 15, 2007
We now interrupt the regularily scheduled program...
I would like to write about my Grandpa and how much I love him but this seems to be an impossible task. Today is his birthday. Today he would be 73.
He was taken before we ready for him to leave. I'll admit, I'm selfish. There is not one day that doesn't go by where I don't think about him. Not one day where I don't think about how different my life would be.
Seven years and it has not been easier or better, it's just left me with a million questions. A million questions that I will never have the answers to, and I don't know that I will be okay with that.
I fear that one day my memories will be gone and I won't remember him at all. I fear that I have forgotten his voice, what he looks like and a million pictures won't give me what I need.
I have so many regrets. There are so many things I wish I would have done or could have changed.
I hate the fact that I only had eleven years. It doesn't seem long enough. It doesn't seem like enough time.
I miss him.
He was taken before we ready for him to leave. I'll admit, I'm selfish. There is not one day that doesn't go by where I don't think about him. Not one day where I don't think about how different my life would be.
Seven years and it has not been easier or better, it's just left me with a million questions. A million questions that I will never have the answers to, and I don't know that I will be okay with that.
I fear that one day my memories will be gone and I won't remember him at all. I fear that I have forgotten his voice, what he looks like and a million pictures won't give me what I need.
I have so many regrets. There are so many things I wish I would have done or could have changed.
I hate the fact that I only had eleven years. It doesn't seem long enough. It doesn't seem like enough time.
I miss him.
Sunday, January 14, 2007
Story Time with The Adult in Question
Story Time with The Adult in Question
is presented by The Adult in Question
and ripped off from Heidi the Hick.
I thought that we are all tired of listening to me whine and complain about school, so I thought that I would focus on something positive. I have decided to blog the story I wrote for my college portfolio. The teacher really loved and despite the fact that it is somewhat cheesy and that I absolutely hate the title, the rest of it is good. Please keep in mind that when I wrote this I had two classes, Literature Studies/Science Fiction (Yes, people I recieved a credit for watching movies such as Frankenstein, Star Wars and watching episodes of the X Files and Sci Factor) and Religion. Apparently both of these classes impressed upon this story. So please be kind and if you enjoy the first bit I will be tempted to give you the rest.
So here it is with its ridiculous title...
Rains of Existence
She sat there, entranced by the sound of the rain hitting the ground. The people moved so quickly, trying to escape the heavy droplets that threatened their dry exterior.
She thought about how people fought the rain- the rain such a natural force and even it could not be deterred. People flooded the streets of New York looking for a place to stay warm and dry. Those who had heard the news about the rain and were prepard for the tremendous downfall but those who were careless and used newspaper to hide from the increasing droplets but those who were not so fortunate began to hide under cafe balconies and enter stores they had no interest in other than being safe.
As she sat there watching people, the cafe where she was sitting had become full of people trying to wait out the rain. People were sharing tables with individuals whom they did not know but wanted the shelter. She was so fixated by the rain and the people that she had not noticed the elderly man who had come and sat at her table. The man watched her intently trying to see what she was focused on but could not figure out what was keeping her from noticing him.
"Excuse me ma'am, I hope I am not interrupting you." She refused to acknowledge his presence; the last thing she wanted was to make polite conversation with a stranger. She was not in the mood for the antics of an old man.
"My name is James Martin, what would yours be?"
She sighed heavily and replied with "Glynnis, my parents were kind of old fashioned, wanted me to have a good strong name, plus it was my great aunt's name."
"You know I once knew a Glynnis, she invented green jell-o"
"That's absolutely fascinating"she retorted sarcastically.
As this man rambled on about Glynnis and jell-o, she thought to herself, how on earth can I rid myself of this man. He was boring her half to death until he snapped.
"You know what your problem is miss? You youngsters have attitude problems and no respect for anyone. not even yourselves!"
She was outraged and insulted by this man. She wanted to tell him where to go but she knew that if she talked back to him he'd prove his point and he would have her engaged in whatever conversation he was leading up to. So, instead of fighting back she just agreed with this James character until he was finished his speech and would carry on then she would never have to see him again. It was a perfect plan until. . .
is presented by The Adult in Question
and ripped off from Heidi the Hick.
I thought that we are all tired of listening to me whine and complain about school, so I thought that I would focus on something positive. I have decided to blog the story I wrote for my college portfolio. The teacher really loved and despite the fact that it is somewhat cheesy and that I absolutely hate the title, the rest of it is good. Please keep in mind that when I wrote this I had two classes, Literature Studies/Science Fiction (Yes, people I recieved a credit for watching movies such as Frankenstein, Star Wars and watching episodes of the X Files and Sci Factor) and Religion. Apparently both of these classes impressed upon this story. So please be kind and if you enjoy the first bit I will be tempted to give you the rest.
So here it is with its ridiculous title...
Rains of Existence
She sat there, entranced by the sound of the rain hitting the ground. The people moved so quickly, trying to escape the heavy droplets that threatened their dry exterior.
She thought about how people fought the rain- the rain such a natural force and even it could not be deterred. People flooded the streets of New York looking for a place to stay warm and dry. Those who had heard the news about the rain and were prepard for the tremendous downfall but those who were careless and used newspaper to hide from the increasing droplets but those who were not so fortunate began to hide under cafe balconies and enter stores they had no interest in other than being safe.
As she sat there watching people, the cafe where she was sitting had become full of people trying to wait out the rain. People were sharing tables with individuals whom they did not know but wanted the shelter. She was so fixated by the rain and the people that she had not noticed the elderly man who had come and sat at her table. The man watched her intently trying to see what she was focused on but could not figure out what was keeping her from noticing him.
"Excuse me ma'am, I hope I am not interrupting you." She refused to acknowledge his presence; the last thing she wanted was to make polite conversation with a stranger. She was not in the mood for the antics of an old man.
"My name is James Martin, what would yours be?"
She sighed heavily and replied with "Glynnis, my parents were kind of old fashioned, wanted me to have a good strong name, plus it was my great aunt's name."
"You know I once knew a Glynnis, she invented green jell-o"
"That's absolutely fascinating"she retorted sarcastically.
As this man rambled on about Glynnis and jell-o, she thought to herself, how on earth can I rid myself of this man. He was boring her half to death until he snapped.
"You know what your problem is miss? You youngsters have attitude problems and no respect for anyone. not even yourselves!"
She was outraged and insulted by this man. She wanted to tell him where to go but she knew that if she talked back to him he'd prove his point and he would have her engaged in whatever conversation he was leading up to. So, instead of fighting back she just agreed with this James character until he was finished his speech and would carry on then she would never have to see him again. It was a perfect plan until. . .
Thursday, January 11, 2007
Say that again. . . !
Once upon a time, a young college student whined and complained about her program and courses.
That was until the young college student learned that Public Relations is fun and so is Sales and Sales Management. The young college student then learned that starting wage for Sales Management is $180, 000/yr. And in Sales Mangement you can make up to $500,000/yr.
Um, I think that's what I want to do. I think I could sell stuff. Or, I can work as a publicist for celebrities. You could make lots of money doing that as well. Saving celebrities from their embarrassment. Sounds good to me.
Speaking of saving celebrities from embarrassment where is Gwen Stefani's publicist? Where is he/she to tell her that the harajuku girls are a bad idea? I've been doing some research, and apparently "WE" the public cannot see the Harajuku girls because they are in Gwen's imagination. I think Gwen needs to lay off the acid and beg her band to take her back. Which reminds me, Gwen has released a statement saying that she and the rest of the No Doubt band members are going back into the studio to record an album. This is my take on the whole thing, I think her band will reject her and replace her with someone less greedy and someone who can be true to themselves. I don't think Gwen has what it takes to be in a ska/punk band anymore. I think she has sold out.
But, I'm going to start the weekend early because all my classes for tomorrow were cancelled.
It's pretty sweet, first week back and I have a three day weekend.
That was until the young college student learned that Public Relations is fun and so is Sales and Sales Management. The young college student then learned that starting wage for Sales Management is $180, 000/yr. And in Sales Mangement you can make up to $500,000/yr.
Um, I think that's what I want to do. I think I could sell stuff. Or, I can work as a publicist for celebrities. You could make lots of money doing that as well. Saving celebrities from their embarrassment. Sounds good to me.
Speaking of saving celebrities from embarrassment where is Gwen Stefani's publicist? Where is he/she to tell her that the harajuku girls are a bad idea? I've been doing some research, and apparently "WE" the public cannot see the Harajuku girls because they are in Gwen's imagination. I think Gwen needs to lay off the acid and beg her band to take her back. Which reminds me, Gwen has released a statement saying that she and the rest of the No Doubt band members are going back into the studio to record an album. This is my take on the whole thing, I think her band will reject her and replace her with someone less greedy and someone who can be true to themselves. I don't think Gwen has what it takes to be in a ska/punk band anymore. I think she has sold out.
But, I'm going to start the weekend early because all my classes for tomorrow were cancelled.
It's pretty sweet, first week back and I have a three day weekend.
Wednesday, January 10, 2007
Monday, January 08, 2007
The Sad Truth.
The Sad Truth about this semester. . .
The sad truth is that on mondays I am in class from 9 am until 5pm. But the worst part is that I have five hours of lecture with no break in a dark computer lab with no windows. I leave for school and it's dark, I come home from school, it's dark. This truly blows.
My schedule is so horrible that I can only work two days during the week and I can't really take call ins because I am in school until five pm twice a week. Since it takes me an hour to get to work from the house or school, this leaves me no time.
I hate it. I really do. I don't want to be in school. Sure, I like the people, I am kicking some serious butt in the creative areas but I don't love it. I don't think I can see myself doing this after I'm done school.
For some odd reason, despite my fear of the dentist I have always wanted to be a dental hygienest. I am seriously considering this, again. I don't know why I want to work in the health care field but this is calling my name again.
Another career that is calling my name again is teaching. For awhile I wanted to be a primary school teacher. I wanted to do this after some volunteer work in the grade two class. I loved the teacher, she was so creative and so much fun. But after some more volunteer work, I decided this was not the career for me. I have many reasons such as I'm not very good with kids anymore and I think the only reason I really want to do it is because I want to create some wicked crafts with paint and glue.
Writing. This is the one thing I really love but could I spend three years in college studying to become a journalist? No. It's all about writing essays and reading books I have no interest in what so ever. Plus, I couldn't write a decent essay if my life depended upon. I know this for a fact because my grade 12 English teacher tried very hard to fail me. I think it's because her class was full of rich kids I hated or pot heads. I hung out with the pot heads. They were entertaining. rediscovering their fingers or inanimate objects. Not only that they talked about the weirdest things, things I will never understand because I have never been 'high.' The rich kids had their noses so far up the English teacher's ass it was ridiculous. This is where I met L. She's not rich. She's not snobby. She was just the teacher's favorite because she has read most classic novels and knows a little bit about everything. You can guess that I hated her. I hated her with a passion until the next semester when we had literature studies together.
Muchmusic VJ. I know it's lame. But I wanted to be on TV. I wanted to meet celebrities and party with rockstars. I wanted to walk down the red carpet interviewing the rich and the famous. My fear of public speaking and the television broadcasting program at school has prevented me from following this dream.
This idea lead to Radio broadcast. I could talk and entertain people without them actually seeing me. I applied for it. I had a portfolio presentation to go to last March. Guess what? I didn't go. I paniced. There was no way I could do this either.
The same thing happened when I applied to journalism last year. Didn't show up. Freaked out. Left the building. I often ask myself what I was thinking. The people at the college probably think I am this big flake. Especially with my high school attendance record. I was never in trouble, but attendance record is crap. I am surprised I was even able to go to college. If I were in charge of admissions, I would look at my attendance record and laugh. Seriously. One semester there was about 28 absences out of 78 days.
I wanted to go to WLU for my bachelor's in art but I looked at the price tag that came with it. And the fact that it was four years and I would have no job unless I took another program afterwards. Posh, has always wanted me to go to University. I think I have disappointed her because I did not go spend thousands of dollars on an education I could never use. Truth is I could care less because it is my life, my choice and I choose not to spend $15,000 minimum per year.
There was this tiny part of me hoping that I had failed a few classes so that I wouldn't have to go back until next year and then I could do whatever I wanted until next September. The rest of me knew that if I failed I would be so disappointed in myself and that I would regret this for the rest of my life. Then there was this tiny voice that told me "Do you really want to be stuck at a minimum wage job, because you know damn well that your chances of actually going back are...not good."
[Damn, those voices for being right. Always getting in my way.]
I guess, I am destined to finish the next semester and next year. Who knows what I will do? I don't. I don't know what I am supposed to do with my life. Sure, I am only 18 and sure I don't have to make up my mind now but I think it would be nice just to have an idea of what I want to do. I know that I want to love my job, I know that I want to want to go to work every day.
I also know, that I currently have the choice of studying next year in Australia in an exchange program but I would have to make up mind in the next week. Would Australia help me make up my mind? Would Australia give me the answers I am so desperately searching for?
The answers are unsure. The choice is mine. This is the sad truth.
The sad truth is that on mondays I am in class from 9 am until 5pm. But the worst part is that I have five hours of lecture with no break in a dark computer lab with no windows. I leave for school and it's dark, I come home from school, it's dark. This truly blows.
My schedule is so horrible that I can only work two days during the week and I can't really take call ins because I am in school until five pm twice a week. Since it takes me an hour to get to work from the house or school, this leaves me no time.
I hate it. I really do. I don't want to be in school. Sure, I like the people, I am kicking some serious butt in the creative areas but I don't love it. I don't think I can see myself doing this after I'm done school.
For some odd reason, despite my fear of the dentist I have always wanted to be a dental hygienest. I am seriously considering this, again. I don't know why I want to work in the health care field but this is calling my name again.
Another career that is calling my name again is teaching. For awhile I wanted to be a primary school teacher. I wanted to do this after some volunteer work in the grade two class. I loved the teacher, she was so creative and so much fun. But after some more volunteer work, I decided this was not the career for me. I have many reasons such as I'm not very good with kids anymore and I think the only reason I really want to do it is because I want to create some wicked crafts with paint and glue.
Writing. This is the one thing I really love but could I spend three years in college studying to become a journalist? No. It's all about writing essays and reading books I have no interest in what so ever. Plus, I couldn't write a decent essay if my life depended upon. I know this for a fact because my grade 12 English teacher tried very hard to fail me. I think it's because her class was full of rich kids I hated or pot heads. I hung out with the pot heads. They were entertaining. rediscovering their fingers or inanimate objects. Not only that they talked about the weirdest things, things I will never understand because I have never been 'high.' The rich kids had their noses so far up the English teacher's ass it was ridiculous. This is where I met L. She's not rich. She's not snobby. She was just the teacher's favorite because she has read most classic novels and knows a little bit about everything. You can guess that I hated her. I hated her with a passion until the next semester when we had literature studies together.
Muchmusic VJ. I know it's lame. But I wanted to be on TV. I wanted to meet celebrities and party with rockstars. I wanted to walk down the red carpet interviewing the rich and the famous. My fear of public speaking and the television broadcasting program at school has prevented me from following this dream.
This idea lead to Radio broadcast. I could talk and entertain people without them actually seeing me. I applied for it. I had a portfolio presentation to go to last March. Guess what? I didn't go. I paniced. There was no way I could do this either.
The same thing happened when I applied to journalism last year. Didn't show up. Freaked out. Left the building. I often ask myself what I was thinking. The people at the college probably think I am this big flake. Especially with my high school attendance record. I was never in trouble, but attendance record is crap. I am surprised I was even able to go to college. If I were in charge of admissions, I would look at my attendance record and laugh. Seriously. One semester there was about 28 absences out of 78 days.
I wanted to go to WLU for my bachelor's in art but I looked at the price tag that came with it. And the fact that it was four years and I would have no job unless I took another program afterwards. Posh, has always wanted me to go to University. I think I have disappointed her because I did not go spend thousands of dollars on an education I could never use. Truth is I could care less because it is my life, my choice and I choose not to spend $15,000 minimum per year.
There was this tiny part of me hoping that I had failed a few classes so that I wouldn't have to go back until next year and then I could do whatever I wanted until next September. The rest of me knew that if I failed I would be so disappointed in myself and that I would regret this for the rest of my life. Then there was this tiny voice that told me "Do you really want to be stuck at a minimum wage job, because you know damn well that your chances of actually going back are...not good."
[Damn, those voices for being right. Always getting in my way.]
I guess, I am destined to finish the next semester and next year. Who knows what I will do? I don't. I don't know what I am supposed to do with my life. Sure, I am only 18 and sure I don't have to make up my mind now but I think it would be nice just to have an idea of what I want to do. I know that I want to love my job, I know that I want to want to go to work every day.
I also know, that I currently have the choice of studying next year in Australia in an exchange program but I would have to make up mind in the next week. Would Australia help me make up my mind? Would Australia give me the answers I am so desperately searching for?
The answers are unsure. The choice is mine. This is the sad truth.
Sunday, January 07, 2007
The Weekend
Friday nite.
L and I went to the bar. She brought her new man meat and her friend from her old school. I like them both, but it seems as though everything we do recently, we have to do with them. This is becoming an annoyance for me because as much as like them I don't want to hang around them all the time. But we went and we had fun. I welcomed back the 80's with my black leggings and mini skirt. Oh and did I mention the Whitesnake shirt I was wearing?!?! We left really early that nite because it was packed and people were touching L and she didn't like that. I can't disagree.
Saturday nite.
I worked 2:30 -8pm basically suffocating my whole entire day. After work, I phoned Sarah so we could have what we call Sexy time. (We stole Sexy time from Borat) Basically, we hang out after work every now and then and tell people we had this really awesome date. But the trick is to let people assume that the date was with someone of the opposite sex. I have no idea how we came up with this silly thing but we did and it works. We planned on going to the theatre to see Black Christmas, but by the time we arrived it was already starting. But never fear, I had a back up plan. There is this guy Spencer, that Sarah and I work with and we informed of our Sexy time he was jealous and wanted us to invite him for the next time. I phoned him and said that I was phoning on behalf of myself and Sarah. Spencer informed us that he was at the bakery guy's house. This confused us. First of all we didn't know that we had a bakery section. We thought it was just the shelves of bread behind produce. Second, there is a guy for this "bakery" department. He has a real name, but Sarah and I prefer to call him bakery guy. Luckily for us, Sarah had the Orca. (The Orca is her black and white van) We jumped into the Orca and made our way across town to Bakery Guy's house. Spencer told us to phone him when we were near the Taco Bell since Sarah and I both suck at directions. Sarah was responsible for phoning Spencer this time. She phoned him while I was in the bathroom and ordered our Tacos.
Spencer asked "where are you guys?"
Sarah replied with "Uh Taco Bell area"
Spencer "You guys are in the Taco Bell eating aren't you?"
Sarah "Maybe, why did you want something?"
Somehow, Spencer knew that we would stop at the Taco Bell. He gave us the rest of the directions and after we ate our traditional Mexican meal of Tacos and French Fries we hurried to Bakery Guy's apartment.
Apparently, Bakery Guy knew who I was but I had never seen him before in my life. It was two hours that cannot be described as neither good nor bad. The guys wanted to watch South Park, while Sarah and I were under the impression that it was not going to be a suckfest. It was fun after the first 20 minutes of awkwardness though because we all had one thing in common - our jobs.
Eventually Sarah and I had to leave because we had to use the bathroom and we were afraid of Bakery Guy's despite the fact that he was very clean and had very nice furniture.
We drove to the nearest Tim Horton's and used their bathrooms. The people of Tim Horton's were not impressed with us.
Sunday/Today
Once again I dragged my butt into work to what seemed like the world's longest shift. It was only five hours but it was another five hours of my life that I will never get back. I was the only one there tonite with any seniority so I was able to count the money in the registers and boss around all the people who had not been there for three months. Thankfully, there were people working who could be trusted to do the job right. Everything was going well. Three carts of returns had been demolished thanks to the new cashier Jesse. I was cleaning conveyor belts when Spencer and Bakery Guy came in. They decided to take all my paper towels and unroll them down the length of the store. And as I was cleaning up paper towel they bolted, leaving me to deal with the manager. She wanted to know why there was almost two rolls of paper towel being thrown out. I tried to explain what had happened but it just didn't work for me. I was not impressed. But I did laugh later. I'm good like that. I finished cleaning and the store looked great. I was done 30 minutes early and hoping to leave early. No such luck. I was sentenced to the deodorant aisle where I was to clean it all up and make it look "organized" uuuuhhhh.
Total. Boredom. For. 20. Excruciating. Minutes.
I finished that and left. I couldn't do it anymore. Especially when I knew people would be back tomorrow to look even worse.
Now, I sit here typing this entry, dreading tomorrow. Tomorrow is my first day back to school after a month off. I don't want to go back. I don't want another four months of homework, projects, group work or presentations. I really don't want to go back. Despite all the work at the crappy minimum wage job, I have been having fun. I was almost hoping to fail this semester so that I wouldn't have to go back until next year. I'm not nervous or scared like before, I just want to keep doing what I am doing now. Working and having fun. I want to sleep all morning and work all afternoon and sometimes go out in the evening. I know that eventually I will want to go back to school and finish because I don't want to make minimum wage forever. But can't I do this for just a little longer?
There 11.5 hours until I return to the college and I am dreading it. Dreading the bus ride, the books, the teachers, all of it.
I know once I am there for a couple weeks I will get used to it again.
I'll let you know how it goes.
xo
Adult in Question.
L and I went to the bar. She brought her new man meat and her friend from her old school. I like them both, but it seems as though everything we do recently, we have to do with them. This is becoming an annoyance for me because as much as like them I don't want to hang around them all the time. But we went and we had fun. I welcomed back the 80's with my black leggings and mini skirt. Oh and did I mention the Whitesnake shirt I was wearing?!?! We left really early that nite because it was packed and people were touching L and she didn't like that. I can't disagree.
Saturday nite.
I worked 2:30 -8pm basically suffocating my whole entire day. After work, I phoned Sarah so we could have what we call Sexy time. (We stole Sexy time from Borat) Basically, we hang out after work every now and then and tell people we had this really awesome date. But the trick is to let people assume that the date was with someone of the opposite sex. I have no idea how we came up with this silly thing but we did and it works. We planned on going to the theatre to see Black Christmas, but by the time we arrived it was already starting. But never fear, I had a back up plan. There is this guy Spencer, that Sarah and I work with and we informed of our Sexy time he was jealous and wanted us to invite him for the next time. I phoned him and said that I was phoning on behalf of myself and Sarah. Spencer informed us that he was at the bakery guy's house. This confused us. First of all we didn't know that we had a bakery section. We thought it was just the shelves of bread behind produce. Second, there is a guy for this "bakery" department. He has a real name, but Sarah and I prefer to call him bakery guy. Luckily for us, Sarah had the Orca. (The Orca is her black and white van) We jumped into the Orca and made our way across town to Bakery Guy's house. Spencer told us to phone him when we were near the Taco Bell since Sarah and I both suck at directions. Sarah was responsible for phoning Spencer this time. She phoned him while I was in the bathroom and ordered our Tacos.
Spencer asked "where are you guys?"
Sarah replied with "Uh Taco Bell area"
Spencer "You guys are in the Taco Bell eating aren't you?"
Sarah "Maybe, why did you want something?"
Somehow, Spencer knew that we would stop at the Taco Bell. He gave us the rest of the directions and after we ate our traditional Mexican meal of Tacos and French Fries we hurried to Bakery Guy's apartment.
Apparently, Bakery Guy knew who I was but I had never seen him before in my life. It was two hours that cannot be described as neither good nor bad. The guys wanted to watch South Park, while Sarah and I were under the impression that it was not going to be a suckfest. It was fun after the first 20 minutes of awkwardness though because we all had one thing in common - our jobs.
Eventually Sarah and I had to leave because we had to use the bathroom and we were afraid of Bakery Guy's despite the fact that he was very clean and had very nice furniture.
We drove to the nearest Tim Horton's and used their bathrooms. The people of Tim Horton's were not impressed with us.
Sunday/Today
Once again I dragged my butt into work to what seemed like the world's longest shift. It was only five hours but it was another five hours of my life that I will never get back. I was the only one there tonite with any seniority so I was able to count the money in the registers and boss around all the people who had not been there for three months. Thankfully, there were people working who could be trusted to do the job right. Everything was going well. Three carts of returns had been demolished thanks to the new cashier Jesse. I was cleaning conveyor belts when Spencer and Bakery Guy came in. They decided to take all my paper towels and unroll them down the length of the store. And as I was cleaning up paper towel they bolted, leaving me to deal with the manager. She wanted to know why there was almost two rolls of paper towel being thrown out. I tried to explain what had happened but it just didn't work for me. I was not impressed. But I did laugh later. I'm good like that. I finished cleaning and the store looked great. I was done 30 minutes early and hoping to leave early. No such luck. I was sentenced to the deodorant aisle where I was to clean it all up and make it look "organized" uuuuhhhh.
Total. Boredom. For. 20. Excruciating. Minutes.
I finished that and left. I couldn't do it anymore. Especially when I knew people would be back tomorrow to look even worse.
Now, I sit here typing this entry, dreading tomorrow. Tomorrow is my first day back to school after a month off. I don't want to go back. I don't want another four months of homework, projects, group work or presentations. I really don't want to go back. Despite all the work at the crappy minimum wage job, I have been having fun. I was almost hoping to fail this semester so that I wouldn't have to go back until next year. I'm not nervous or scared like before, I just want to keep doing what I am doing now. Working and having fun. I want to sleep all morning and work all afternoon and sometimes go out in the evening. I know that eventually I will want to go back to school and finish because I don't want to make minimum wage forever. But can't I do this for just a little longer?
There 11.5 hours until I return to the college and I am dreading it. Dreading the bus ride, the books, the teachers, all of it.
I know once I am there for a couple weeks I will get used to it again.
I'll let you know how it goes.
xo
Adult in Question.
Wednesday, January 03, 2007
What did you miss?
Well, I think that it is time to catch up.
So here is what you have missed. I worked and injured my shoulder. The doctor said that it was just a pulled muscle but he has been saying that about my shoulder for a year now. And to tell the truth, my doctor is complete quack. He does as little work as possible. Getting anti inflammatories from him was hell. So instead of working 30 hours a week like scheduled I ended up working one shift more than I did while I was in school.
Christmas was good. I got the pyjamas from La Senza that I wanted. And now I have worn them so much that they look like I got them last year. They were my favourite gift. And yes Dad, I do think I am Paris Hilton.
Boxing Day Heidi and family came over which was very exciting. I was supposed to work that day for time and half plus Stat Pay but I called in sick. My shoulder was killing me and it took me a long time to open my presents the day before so I decided that the money just wasn't worth it. Plus I have worked so much in the last four months that I have barely seen my family and my family is more important than any amount of money. So I stayed home. It was a lot of fun. After they left my friend L came over for some dinner. She eventually conned me into going to the bar. She said that dancing would help my injury. And to be honest it did. I laughed so much that day.
I went to work the next day. Was in a lot of pain. Fought with one of the managers and this has been going on ever since because she thinks I am creating an injury that really isn't there. Bitch.
So there was some more work...
New Year's Eve. It rained. I had a Bacardi cooler. New Year's Eve wasn't so bad though. I went downtown to meet some friends and see Sloan perform. Sloan walked past me and I was being a tool and I said sarcastically "Omigod, Sloan I love you, have my baby!" They walked past me really quickly. By 10:30 pm it was pouring rain. So we came back to my house and just hung out for a bit. At Midnight we had shots of Bacardi and what not. My people left at around 1:30 am and I went to bed.
On the second, my Grandma came over and we exchanged gifts. I haven't had a visit with my Grandma since before school started. This was really great, because I love spending time with her. She is so funny and has only gotten better with age. And yes I have told her that.
So with my one day off a week, I have been watching lots of television and flopping on the furniture. I sat through a VH1 biography of Gwen Stefani and guess what one of her quotes were "Sometimes I go on the internet and google myself to see how many people hate me. " Another quote..."You can't see the Harajuku girls, they're my imagination. So pretend they're not there."
"When I came home and I was rich it was really great." Need I say more?
I don't know if anyone bought 'Star' magazine with the list of the "50 Most Annoying People of '06" Well, Gwen had the most annoying hair of the year. Hilary Duff had the most annoying teeth, and Jessica Simpson was just No. 3 on the list. I guess people hate her too. My other favourite on the list... Madonna for having the most annoying fake accent of the year. It was an overall good list. I thoroughly enjoyed it.
And finally on the list my GRADES came in today! All of them! So here they are as promised.
Advertisng 1 -71%
Marketing -71%
Presentation Skills - 90%
Interpersonal and Group Dynamics 83%
Layout and Theory Workshop- 76%
Concept and Copy -76%
Production Software - 69%
Next week I go back to school and after four weeks off, I can say that I definately do NOT want to go back. I have enjoyed my time off. I like working even though the one office girl is being a bitch. I love the day staff. I won't be able to see them anymore. I won't see them again until the summer and with the turn over rate at that place, they may not even be there.
Anyways, this has taken me a very long time to write. And my semi formal dress that I have been wearing for the last hour is really bugging me now. But that is a whole other story. (As to why I am wearing my Grade 10 Semi Formal gown.)
I will check all your blogs ASAP.
xo
The Adult in Question
So here is what you have missed. I worked and injured my shoulder. The doctor said that it was just a pulled muscle but he has been saying that about my shoulder for a year now. And to tell the truth, my doctor is complete quack. He does as little work as possible. Getting anti inflammatories from him was hell. So instead of working 30 hours a week like scheduled I ended up working one shift more than I did while I was in school.
Christmas was good. I got the pyjamas from La Senza that I wanted. And now I have worn them so much that they look like I got them last year. They were my favourite gift. And yes Dad, I do think I am Paris Hilton.
Boxing Day Heidi and family came over which was very exciting. I was supposed to work that day for time and half plus Stat Pay but I called in sick. My shoulder was killing me and it took me a long time to open my presents the day before so I decided that the money just wasn't worth it. Plus I have worked so much in the last four months that I have barely seen my family and my family is more important than any amount of money. So I stayed home. It was a lot of fun. After they left my friend L came over for some dinner. She eventually conned me into going to the bar. She said that dancing would help my injury. And to be honest it did. I laughed so much that day.
I went to work the next day. Was in a lot of pain. Fought with one of the managers and this has been going on ever since because she thinks I am creating an injury that really isn't there. Bitch.
So there was some more work...
New Year's Eve. It rained. I had a Bacardi cooler. New Year's Eve wasn't so bad though. I went downtown to meet some friends and see Sloan perform. Sloan walked past me and I was being a tool and I said sarcastically "Omigod, Sloan I love you, have my baby!" They walked past me really quickly. By 10:30 pm it was pouring rain. So we came back to my house and just hung out for a bit. At Midnight we had shots of Bacardi and what not. My people left at around 1:30 am and I went to bed.
On the second, my Grandma came over and we exchanged gifts. I haven't had a visit with my Grandma since before school started. This was really great, because I love spending time with her. She is so funny and has only gotten better with age. And yes I have told her that.
So with my one day off a week, I have been watching lots of television and flopping on the furniture. I sat through a VH1 biography of Gwen Stefani and guess what one of her quotes were "Sometimes I go on the internet and google myself to see how many people hate me. " Another quote..."You can't see the Harajuku girls, they're my imagination. So pretend they're not there."
"When I came home and I was rich it was really great." Need I say more?
I don't know if anyone bought 'Star' magazine with the list of the "50 Most Annoying People of '06" Well, Gwen had the most annoying hair of the year. Hilary Duff had the most annoying teeth, and Jessica Simpson was just No. 3 on the list. I guess people hate her too. My other favourite on the list... Madonna for having the most annoying fake accent of the year. It was an overall good list. I thoroughly enjoyed it.
And finally on the list my GRADES came in today! All of them! So here they are as promised.
Advertisng 1 -71%
Marketing -71%
Presentation Skills - 90%
Interpersonal and Group Dynamics 83%
Layout and Theory Workshop- 76%
Concept and Copy -76%
Production Software - 69%
Next week I go back to school and after four weeks off, I can say that I definately do NOT want to go back. I have enjoyed my time off. I like working even though the one office girl is being a bitch. I love the day staff. I won't be able to see them anymore. I won't see them again until the summer and with the turn over rate at that place, they may not even be there.
Anyways, this has taken me a very long time to write. And my semi formal dress that I have been wearing for the last hour is really bugging me now. But that is a whole other story. (As to why I am wearing my Grade 10 Semi Formal gown.)
I will check all your blogs ASAP.
xo
The Adult in Question
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)