I would like to write about my Grandpa and how much I love him but this seems to be an impossible task. Today is his birthday. Today he would be 73.
He was taken before we ready for him to leave. I'll admit, I'm selfish. There is not one day that doesn't go by where I don't think about him. Not one day where I don't think about how different my life would be.
Seven years and it has not been easier or better, it's just left me with a million questions. A million questions that I will never have the answers to, and I don't know that I will be okay with that.
I fear that one day my memories will be gone and I won't remember him at all. I fear that I have forgotten his voice, what he looks like and a million pictures won't give me what I need.
I have so many regrets. There are so many things I wish I would have done or could have changed.
I hate the fact that I only had eleven years. It doesn't seem long enough. It doesn't seem like enough time.
I miss him.
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6 comments:
So sorry:-( I like to think of family members as guardian angles, that way they're just never really gone.
I miss him, too. I do think that he is watching over us, and I know how proud he would be of you.
He was yer grandad. He loved yer. All yer need.
I don't know if this makes you feel better, but I'm sure you've already heard it...He really loved you, kid. The sun rose and set on you and your sisters.
I had 17 years with one grandpa and 24 years with the other. I still miss them and I still can make myself cry over them! They were such a huge part of my life and I will always cherish the time I had with them. I agree, 11 years is not enough. But it's what you got...treasure it. You won't forget. I still remember their voices and their rough cheeks and their laughs.
(Write it down okay? it helps.)
Sorry for your loss. I was a 11 when my grandfather died too. I found out when I came home from camp one night. It was the first time I ever experienced a death in the family. I never really got to know him because he was really sick for many years before he died.
When can we expect the next installment?
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