10 Days

All it takes is about ten days for everything in your life to fall apart. 10 days to watch your world come tumbling down.
It all started last friday when I had the most humiliating doctor's appointment of my life. It was a physical and something I don't feel like digging back up. It was a complete violation of doctor - patient trust, to say the least.
I come home from my terrifying experience to receive a phone call from the dental office I worked at. They are letting me go. Apparently I asked too many questions about where things were in the office.I had only worked there a total of 40 hours. It is impossible to know everything there is to know in that little time period.
Next on my list of earth shattering disaster. Spencer and I had been having some problems that we were trying to work on or I was at least. I don't know about him anymore. He spends the entire weekend avoiding me. Finally, he comes home Sunday night so we can fight for an hour, then leaves again.
He returns home on Tuesday, only to break up with me. He tossed me aside like garbage and I mean that in a literal sense because on his street, Tuesday is garbage night.
I started packing to move home. I moved into the "cat room" because the 3 cats had pretty much taken over the room.
My sister KK is less than thrilled to have me home. This is the politest way I can think of saying it.
After being home a few days, my littlest sister blurted out that my guinea pig had died too.
Last but certainly not least, my cousin and I took KK out for her 19th birthday last night. Along my drunken travels at the bar I managed to step in puke that wasn't mine.
People keep telling me that things will get better, time heals all wounds. I'm sick of hearing that already. I feel at times that I may be drowning in my own misery because it seems as though Spencer has moved on already. I'm stuck here crying my eyes out trying to figure out how last thursday he told me he loved me so much that there were not enough stars in the sky to show me how much he loves me and now this. It doesn't make sense. He wants to be my friend. I don't want to be his friend, I want to be his girlfriend. He promised me forever but I suppose my expiry date was three years. Someone should warn his next girlfriend that there is a time limit for his love. I asked him if the last three years were just pretend for him and his response was that he loved me more than he thought humanly possible, that he will never love someone the same way he loved me. It's just not working for him and he is tired of trying. He never tried to fix things in the first place. He has been giving me a hard time about resolvong the financial issues we had together. He is getting pissed off because I won't stop calling him - I wouldn't have to call him if he would grow up and help me take care of these debts. We have taken care of the cell phone bill issue but the credit cards are a seperate issue he is refusing to help with when less than a week ago after I lost my job he promised to take care of me. My prince charming is not so much a prince charming but rather an immature jerk of late. I know that he says he is trying to be civil but answer my damn calls and I wouldn't have to call so many times that it borderlines on stalking. I just don't need to be arrested this week as well. So we agreed upon a few things and I will wait until midweek to hear from him and if I don't then I will call. He has at least agreed to move the rest of my things home for me.
I just wish that there was a way to skip past all this heartache. No one will let me live in a drug induced coma. And my mom keeps making me get out of bed all the time. Everything that I own or most of it anyways he bought for me, everything is a constant reminder of him. And I hate that the most.
I don't want to be told how time heals all wounds or this is for the best or any other cliche crap. It doesn't change the fact that I still love him, even though he doesn't deserve it. He was my first love. He promised happily ever after and I fell for it. I'm sure that eventually I will heal and this will be a learning experience, it just doesn't feel that way right now.