I always thought my 20's would be better than my teens. In some ways, yes my twenties are much better but in other ways it feels like I never left high school. When I was in high school, I got in and out of there as fast as I could. I hated it. I was looking forward to being done with school, homework and most importantly the daily drama that keeps you feeling like you are in a never ending soap opera, except Susan Lucci is never around in inappropriate clothes for a woman her age.
In high school we always had to plan our futures and complete projects on "where do you think you'll be in 5 years, 10 years, 15 years?" I can tell you I am no where close to where I thought I would be in my life. That's okay, I have accepted that, I made some stupid choices but I am told that's what your early 20's are for, bad choices. I have accomplished that, oh and I beat teen pregnancy. That's a win right there.
My life is great in a lot of ways, I have a career, I am done school, my family is very supportive and they love me but my friends seems to be the root of some of my troubles. My best "friend" has taken to bullying me. Yes, you can still be bullied in your early to mid twenties. Sad, isn't it? She destroyed a budding relationship between an awesome guy and myself simply because she could. A real man doesn't wander away but the pure fact that she had to lie and manipulate and scheme her way in to things is so hurtful. People do horrible things simply because they can. She is no longer my friend, well I don't think she ever really was my friend if she could do these types of things. I am not completely innocent, it takes two people to fight but I never said or did any of the things she did. I don't think I ever could.
I don't want my life to be an over dramatic romantic movie. I want things plain and simple. I don't want or need the daily soap opera, especially if there is no one famous around to play a great role along side me.
I won't let her ruin my summer, or allow her to hurt me anymore, but it doesn't mean the sting of betrayal has vanished. I wish it would because it's too much energy to be hurt and angry with somebody over dumb things but my mind and especially my heart won't let me. My mind always tells me the right thing to do but I always end up following my heart even in to situations I know have the potential to be emotionally dangerous.
I am a naive day dreamer in a lot of respects and I often wish my lovely day dreams were reality but life doesn't work that way. It's messy and complicated and confusing. In high school no one ever says "by the way things are better than being an over emotional teenager but life still sucks and here's why..." No one ever says that, not even in Career Studies courses. No one ever tells you that in your early 20's you go through a time of depression where you don't understand why you are here or what your purpose is or yes things will get better if you can survive the brutal depression phase. Like I said, my 20's are better than my teen years bur couldn't they be amazing instead? Drama free? No over played soap opera story line?
I'm just asking for a simple kind of life, is that too much to ask?
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