Tuesday, November 27, 2012

Things have been sufficiently shitty at work lately. It seems I am always in trouble no matter how hard I try. Today was a really awful day. Awful. I came close to tears but I never let anyone have the satisfaction of seeing me cry. Never. On my way home this evening I contemplated what I should do about my job. Quit? Find a new job? Go back to school for the third time? Or hang in there as long as possible until I make my three year mark as a dental assistant. I decided to hang in there and keep trying. I can only do my best and strive to improve my skills. That's all that anyone can ask of me and I can't do more than that. However, that being said, if I do lose my job as in I'm fired or let go I've made a big decision. I am going to take time off from work while keeping my license active but I am going to start going to all the places I want to see. I've never taken time off from work or school. I did't do a victory lap after grade 12 and I never took a year off. I wasn't really given the choice to do so as my parents pushed me to go to college. Now I will be 25 in March and I've come to the realization that I am an adult and I can make my own choices and I am tired of being pushed around. I am nobody's doormat and I am not taking bullshit from anyone anymore. But let's get back to all the places I want to see. Most of the places are in the United States but it's my list so too bad. I have always wanted to go to New York, I have dreamed about it since I was a little kid. As I got older I wanted to visit LaLa Land. Even stand in front of the Hollywood sign like a cheesy tourist. I actually think it's illegal to be up there with the sign but I'll deal with that when I get to it. I want to visit New Orleans during Mardi Gras, this girl likes to party. I want to see Texas and Georgia. I want to see Ireland and Germany, really discover my heritage and where I come from and who my family is. I would go to Halifax as I always want to go there, sit on the docks with the ocean breeze blowing through my hair, the mesmerizing blue ocean at my feet. Just be at peace and rest while enjoying the view. Of course, I'd like to see my Uncle, that's always a given. I think if things go south with my job, this is what I am going to do. Run away for a little while, gain some perspective and just enjoy myself. I am sure if I wasn't so tired, there would be some tropical places on my list. Sipping on fruity drinks by a pool with an umbrella in my glass. It would be awesome. Until that day, this is all just a day dream.