The Friday Morning Pants Fiasco

Today I am supposed to have my interview with D, however she has not shown up yet...tres annoying but moving on to the funny stuff.

Last night I stayed over at Spencer's so I brought my school books, clothes, hair straightener of course and anything else I needed for today. Well I have been so scatterbrained recently that this morning I thought that I forgot my pants. Normally it wouldn't be a big deal because I would just wear the ones I wore yesterday except it was late when I came over and I went in a taxi so I was wearing my pyjama pants.
We searched his room because I was 100% positive that I brought my pants. Then I thought that maybe they fell out of my bag in the cab. Or maybe I did forget to bring them and they were still folded on my bed at home. I was laughing hysterically because who forgets their own pants? Seriously aside from me who forgets to pack their pants? (I always get myself into the weirdest, most bizarre situations)
So we decided that I would wear my pyjama pants and we would go get a different pair at my house. So I quickly finished my hair got all my stuff together then, I had a EUREKA moment.
I ran into Spencer's bedroom, opened the closet door and there were my pants. Hanging up right next to my coat.
I had forgotten that I hung up my dress pants because I didn't want them to be wrinkled for my interview this morning.
So I was a few minutes late this morning but at least I was wearing pants.
(I also think that I'm going to get some sleep this weekend.)

Work placement, it's a scary yet wonderful place

I started my work placement yesterday and I wasn't nervous. In fact I was really excited. I stayed at the college to work internally for my program co-ordinator's advertising firm. It was a good choice because it gives me the opportunity to get caught up on work that I missed out on, develop my portfolio so it looks absolutely amazing and better than everyone else's. Oh yeah, and I'm in a completely comfortable area and don't have to worry about transportation.
I have two projects that I am currently working on with another girl as well as my own assignments that I am behind on. I don't want to bring school work home though because our computer has been a mess of sorts recently. It keeps getting viruses and such. I would be so upset if one of my projects for school was destroyed.
It's a really great work environment because I make my own hours every single day of the week. As long as I am in by 10am every morning I can basically come and go as I please.
Also, this week is reading week so 95% of the students are not at the college. This means I can actually get a seat on the bus, I don't have to fight for lab time,and the best part - no line up at Tim Horton's. I can get my coffee fix as often as I want and I don't have to stand in line for half an hour.
I don't have to dress professionally except for when we meet with external clients which is very nice even though I spent a lot of money on clothes.
Now for the not so great part of the week. D one of my teachers was supposed to do a mock interview with me for my career planning course. She was supposed to do it on Friday but she ran out of time. We were supposed to do it yesterday, she never showed up. . .even the program co-ordinator couldn't get a hold of her. The co-ordinator advised me to send her an email. I did that. She hasn't responded yet, so the co-ordinator emailed her as well to remind her. Still no response. She had an important meeting with the co-ordinator and she didn't show up, no one could get a hold of her.
So this is what I am thinking...maybe something, some sort of crisis has happened and she just hasn't had the opportunity to respond to emails. But then the bitter part of me is thinking, well she has professionally responsibilities so she should at least email someone to let them know that she won't be at the college. It would just be polite. To be prepared, in case she decides to show up at some point during the week I have been dressing professionally. She can be flaky, and she sometimes likes to do things at the spur of the moment. (I have to dress professionally for the interview because we are graded on appearance.)I'm annoyed but it's not that a big of a deal as long as it gets done at some point.
I hope that this time next week, I am still enjoying work placement and that these things will be resolved.

I LOVE THE SPICE GIRLS

and there is nothing you can do about it. Last night I bought the Spice Girls Greatest Hits album and quickly uploaded it on to Spencer's ipod. (I'm borrowing it right now because my shuffle is suffering from technological difficulties and I have some really LONG work periods this week)
Anyways, I didn't feel like posting tonight but I found a clip on the internet from the Spice Girls concert in New York. I am entering every freakin' contest that I possibly can in hopes of winning two tickets to their Toronto show next week. I am also getting Spencer to enter every contest so I can double my chances of winning. Ha! The plan of an evil genius...not.
Anyways here is the link to the clip, Enjoy and may you all spice up your lives.
(If clicking the title doesn't work, you can copy and paste the link into the address bar etc.)

http://video.msn.com/?mkt=en-ca&brand=sympatico&fg=rss&vid=f869418f-cd50-40dd-89ea-dae65b073da5&from=imbot_en-ca_f_1824

Love me to Death

I'm halfway to reaching one of my goals...I went to school every day this week. Yay me! That's the good news.
This is the bad unrealted to advertising and my studies.
My evil stepsister is at the same college as me and it gets under my skin like you would not believe. She got everything from him that I never had. Why does she need to come to the same school as me. I know that she has the right to an education but she has never worked hard at school. In fact, she spent more time in detention then she did in actual classes. She skipped class,she was constantly arguing with teachers and peers. I have never seen her do homework. I've seen her throw homework out. Honestly, I never thought she would make it out of highschool. Not being mean but she is one of the dumbest people I have ever wasted time with.
I never wanted a relationship with my father because I learned at a very young age that his love was impossible to attain, not because he was closed off but because he doesn't know how to love. He doesn't know how to have a healthy relationship with anyone. I knew that being "Daddy's Little Girl" would never happen but I wished for it, I prayed for it. It never came.
I have buried everything from my past with him. Any memories I ever had were buried away. I had actually imagined his funeral in my mind. I had laid him to rest and had no regrets about never having a relationship with him. In my mind he was dead and I hadn't thought about him for almost over a year now until this.
I've bumped into her a couple times at the college but she didn't recognize me until today that is. She called my name and I ran the other way. I know that hiding isn't going to make it go away but it will prevent a confrontation.
I know that he has never loved my evil stepsister(s), in fact he has told me on a few occasions how much he hates them and his new wife, but he won't leave because without her he has no money. No money means that he has no more motorcycle and carpentry shop or any of the other luxuries he has had the pleasure of enjoying for the last 15 years. He used to tell me how sorry he was that he didn't have a relationship with my sister and I and that he loved me. It didn't mean anything to me and it still doesn't. Spending time with him in his home was hell on earth.
I always thought that if he really did love me, that he would help me out with some of the things that my mother sometimes struggled to provide.
In my lifetime (almost 20 years now) he never bought me school supplies, he never bought uniforms for highschool. He never helped with dentist appointments, doctor appointments. Nothing. When my sister and I were taking dance lessons that my mom and Shawn were paying for, he wouldn't drive us when we couldn't get there. He wouldn't help me with costs to play hockey...nothing. Any time I invited him to anything important in my life he made a point of not showing up, then later complaining that he was never invited to anything.
I know that money doesn't replace a relationship but it would have at least shown that he did care about me. This is more about him, that it is about my stepsister but seeing her around campus, on my turf just brings the past back to the surface.It's a constant reminder of the things that I had made peace with, that I had removed from my life.
The education that I had to work for, the education that has put me into debt about $10,000, she is getting for free. My "Dad" is buying it for her along with her mother and grandmother.
The worst part is that now that she has confirmation that I am at the college means that "Daddio" should be making his yearly appearance soon. Just in time for my birthday folks. How did he know that is exactly what I wanted? Confrontation with the man that I despise.
He provided for her and her sister, not his own children. The ones that he abandoned over 15 years ago. I think the part that hurts the most is that my younger sister actually wants a relationship with him and the evil stepsisters. She's even facebook friends with the evil stepsister but any time I mention it, it causes an arguement between her and I. I have lost enough "family" as it is and I can't really afford to lose more. I hope and pray that one day my sister will realise what I learned so many years ago.
I'm not going to let her stop me from finishing my education. I have struggled enough this year and I am working hard to accomplish my goals.I have overcome many obstacles and she is not going to be another one. I just wish that I didn't have to see her and I really hope that she doesn't have the moxy to talk to me because I don't know that I can cope with that. i don't want another speech on how much my "Dad" loves me and misses me because honestly, he will "love" me to death if I have to deal with his shit.
Sometimes it would just be easier if the past stayed right where it should - in the past.

The Mess I Created All by Myself and Goal Setting

It's been a so-so day to say the least. It's freezing cold outside. And of course my bus was late. I should know better by now but apparently I don't. So I was stuck waiting at the mall to catch my connecting bus to the college. I arrived only twenty minutes late but let me tell you that was the scariest bus ride of my life. I was praying to God like a mofo. The roads aren't horrible but they are definately not great either. There was black ice most of the way to the college and the bus driver stressing to make his next route on time was WAY over the speed limit. We smashed off the curbs multiple times and swerved into the other lane at least twice. But here I am I survived.
I went directly to my program co-ordinator not class even though I was late. I wanted to talk to him about work placement desperately. I have been so stressed about this and because of my depression I have fallen behind in school. It's a mess I created all by myself but a mess none the less.
We came to a decision/conclusion whatever you want to call it.
This is the game plan. . .
I will be doing my work placement at the college for my program co-ordinator. This means I don't have to go through the interview process and I still get to do the work experience. We have to do a minimum of 25 hours a week for five weeks to total 120 hours. I will be doing the minimum while I can use the lab to catch up on all my assignments. The program co-ordinator will help me get the time I need and get extensions to get the work done.
In the end, my concerns regarding failing the semester have diminshed which leaves me feeling A LOT better. With that sorted out, all I have to do now is keep working on the assignments I am behind on so that I can graduate.
Moving on, remember how I love copywriting. No worries, I still love it and even though I sometimes lose track of the purpose of the assignment I am still doing well. I received an assignment back today and although I had lost complete track of the assignment the teacher told me that I am a very talented writer. She also said to give it another try. That made me feel really good because my grades have slipped dramatically but hey I am a talented writer.
So the next thing on my list. I am going to share my goals with you. According to some author whose name I can't remember, it is essential to share goals with others because it helps you to achieve them in a timely manner. Not only that there are people to remind you of your goals and will encourage you to complete them. I encourage you to share your goals with others for many reasons:
1. It makes you feel better to know that someone else can help you achieve your goals
2. You are more driven to complete them because you don't want to disappoint others or yourself
3. You are more likely to achieve goals that are specific, written down, shared and have a deadline.
These are my goals from now February 11, 2008 until April 30, 2008.
-to get caught up on all assignments and achieve a grade of 60% or higher
-to make the committment to work experience and stay with it
-to attend every single class for the next two weeks until work placement starts
-to find the postitive aspects in everything that happens and to dwell less on the negative and more on the positive

Your goals don't need to be related to any one thing they can relate to a variety of things including personal life, work, health, family etc.
Feel free to share some goals.

I finally found out about my work placement. It's not as complicated as I thought. Still nerve racking though.
I'm not doing so well with my depression. In some respects it seems to be eating me alive. The anti-depressants that I am taking aren't really doing anything.
In other news though, I found my sponsor for the gala. So that is taken care of, one less thing to do.
I have some things to do for my portfolio, and a rewrite on my resume/cover letter.
But not much.
That's all that's new with me.