"That's Amazing"

I quit my job today. I left them extremely short staffed and stressed but I'm really not concerned. My boss was very angry and I didn't care. I know it's very unprofessional to quit a few hours before you are supposed to come in and work but it is also very unprofessional to refuse time off when one of your employee's has a severe family emergency.It's also very unprofessional to schedule your employees for ten days in a row with no time off because it's "christmas and boxing day."
I need a place of employment that is a little more flexible and willing to work with students. I also need a place of employment where my manager doesn't yell at me for every single shift that I work. In the last month, my manager has not said anything kind to me. She has yelled at me, made unprofessional comments on the sales floor and called my house more than three times in an hour looking for me to come in and work. I also don't need her making comments regarding my health issues or telling me that I am plus sized.
She was going to write me up again today and I really didn't feel like going through that process again today. So instead I quit. I have work placement in January for school and I still need to attend 32 hours of class a week. I need a job where I can work a few shifts a week and I know that every job has its own problems and stresses but I am exhausted.
So unfortunately with the job goes the awesome discount, but in the end it isn't worth all the trouble.
Look's like my schedule is clear and I can enjoy the rest of my time off.

Too much stress. I'm taking a break to enjoy what little time off that I have. Enjoy the new music on my blog!

My computer at home is bombarded with viruses and such so my mom and I may not be blogging for a little while. I'll try to do some posts from Spencer's house.

My last day with Prancer

Today is my last day of my third semester which means I only have one semester left and then I am thankfully done with advertising. I was hoping the day would pass without a run in with Prancer. We all know how much I love him.
I am sitting in the computer lab, stressing, freaking out and dreading the presentation that I am required to do this afternoon. I have prepared a powerpoint presentation, I am rereading it and memorizing it, hoping for as little embarassment as possible this afternoon.
So here I am minding my own business, when Prancer squacks at the girls next to me. Can I use your login? I am out of paper? (basically he has used all his print credit for the semester and can't print anything off and therefore has no assignment to hand in this afternoon.)What a shame. If it were me I would have said "No." but the other girls being polite and just wanting to get on with their own project unwilling oblige because he is already over here in their faces.
At this point he turns to me and says "K you have been miserable all semester, is something wrong? Do you have a problem?"
I was tempted to say something rude but rather than engage in a battle of wits with this jackass I replied "No, I'm fine. Thanks for asking."
I'm not thankful he asked, I want to punch him in his Archie comics look alike face but I am refraining. Although it would probably get me out of this presentation this afternoon. I mean he is such a bird that he would call the cops.
So, I am still here, punch free. I hope this afternoon goes by quickly because I am totally ready for Christmas Holidays.

Christmas Time

Tomorrow is my last day of classes/exams/presentations whatever you want to call it. I am so excited because that means that I have only one semester left. It also means that it is Christmas time. There are lots of Christmas specials on TV, hot chocolate and late nights playing Yahtzee with my mom. It also means that my mom and I can watch reruns of our favorite shows on DVD including Fat Actress, Buffy and Friends.
I can't wait for tomorrow to be over.

Slow Cheetah

Waking up dead inside of my head
Will never do there is no med
No medicine to take

I've had a chance to be insane
Asylum from the falling rain
I've had a chance to break

It's so bad it's got to be good
Mysterious girl misunderstood
Dressed like a wedding cake

Any other day and I might play
A funeral march for Bonnie Brae
Why try and run away

Slow cheetah come
Before my forest
Look's like it's on today

Slow cheetah come
It's so euphoric
No matter what they say

I know a girl she worked in a store
She know not what
Her life was for
She barely knew her name

They tried to tell her
She would never be
As happy as the girl
In the magazine
She bought it with her pay

Everyone has
So much to say
They talk talk talk
Their lives away
Don't even hesitate

Walking on down
To the burial ground
It's a very old dance
With a merry old sound
Looks like it's on today

- The Red Hot Chili Peppers

I've had a crappy week. Don't even ask.

7 Things You May Not Know About Me

CindyDianne tagged me quite a while ago and I am just getting to it now. She tagged me to list 7 things about myself that people may not know.
So here it goes:

1. My biggest pet peeve is when towels aren't hung up properly.

2. My favorite alcoholic beverage is the Lime Margarita. Frozen of course.

3. I collect everything Disney Princess. Including bed sheets most recently.

4. I love to play Guitar Hero. I am a legend of rock!!! Okay, not really but I try. (And it never hurts to be a legend in your own mind.)

5. I went to camp for three days when I was 14 but I got really homesick and cried to come home.

6. I am so into my appearance that I constantly change my outfit, not just once, not just twice, way more than three times a day. I straighten my hair until I think it's perfect, I have a makeup routine for every day, for work and special occasions and of course you always have to accesorize. It's no wonder people constantly ask me "how's the music video shoot going?"

7. I love to watch horror movies, but then I scare myself so bad from watching them that I can't sleep and when I do sleep I'm having nightmares.

I am feeling a little bit better today.
I actually made it to school.
Finally.
I had a minor freak out and walked out after only writing a quiz but at least I made it there. Thankfully, I only had one class today and it was only an hour long but I managed to make it to class which I feel is an accomplishment especially since my attendance has become more and more sporratic.
I ended up bumping into two of my teachers and had to sit down with them and come clean. I hate doing it.
My program coordinator keeps telling me to "squish my anxiety, just stomp it down." That doesn't make me feel better it just upsets me and doesn't help any. If I could do that or just make it disappear like magic I would but there is no magic cure for depression. You can't just squish it down because it only makes it worse.
Anyways I have promised to go to class for the next two days, no matter what. I have made this promise to the program coordinator and there are witnesses, so there are no excuses unfortunately.
I have lost what I wanted to say and I think I am mainly rambling right now. So I am going to go finish my laundry.

Its 11pm and I have to be up in about seven hours but as usual,I lay awake thinking. Thinking about everything and nothing at all. I have to be in class for 8am and then rush home around 4pm and leave for work so that I can be there for five and close the store at 9:30. I know that I am going to be exhausted and stressed and that is one of the things that I can't stop thinking about. And in the morning, I will be so exhausted that I cannot wake myself up despite having to hand in an essay, write a quiz and then give a five minute presentation on my essay. (As you can tell I am overly ecstatic.)
I hate this feeling I'm overwhelmed but I could care less about what is going on and how things feel like they are falling apart right in front of me.
I constantly have all these thoughts floating around in my head with no where to go, so I guess they go here. Typed on a computer screen in no particular order and as I write this I suddenly feel my desire to write and my motivation to put some brilliant thoughts in to sentences and paragraphs float away.

I have no desire to write.
Not right now anyway.
Sorry.

Just another day at the office

I just returned home from the doctor's office. I made another trip out there again. I'm still having troubles with my shoulder. I'm still in pain and it is getting worse. I can't sleep at night or I do but only for a few hours at a time. It's like having a nap. I'm in so much pain that I can't do the simplest things. I have a numbing pain that makes my arm feel like dead weight. I have a swollen arm that never goes away. I have a lump in my shoulder that cracks and rotates. It never goes away either. I have tried two different anti inflammatories. I have had enough tylenol in my life time that I should have an ulcer. I am becoming more and more depressed that I can't do things like wash my hair, put on my coat before I go out. I am 19 years old and I should be able to do these kind of things.
So I stood my ground this afternoon. I have done everything the doctor has asked me. I have been stretching in the morning, I have lost weight, I have taken enough pills that don't do anything. I am so frustrated.
I asked him for something stronger than tylenol because it isn't doing anything for pain. So he suggested tylenol 3's. Again, it does nothing but he won't give me anything stronger because I could be using it for drugs. He says I could get all messed up and do what sleep? That's all those pills do is make me sleep. I think I understand why some people turn to the streets for drugs.
He is so infuriating. I hate this doctor so much but due to the shortage of doctors in this city, I am stuck and the doctor knows it. He can basically get away with whatever he wants because he knows there are no doctors in the city.
I had to yell at him to get him to listen to me and then when I got louder he just hummed over me and what I was trying to tell him. He refused to listen to what I had to say about my pain, about my depression and then when he finally did answer me he said "If you don't like my opinion go to emerg and sit there." "Talk to someone there because they will tell you the same thing - there is no magic cure!" I never asked for a magic cure, I asked for something to ease my pain.
Eventually he did give me the reccommendation for massage therapy and physiotherapy. Then he gave me the prescription for Tylenol 3's. He told me he didn't care if I took four of five a day but he's not giving me anything stronger. So I have enough for a few days and when I run out, guess what I will be back at his office.
And I will be screaming at him again. And apparently for him, it will be just another day at the office.

Halloween Pictures Finally!!!

That's all for now, blogger is being a pain in the butt. It took me over 20 minutes to upload these pictures and it's being really painfully slow.

I wish I had 8 arms

because then I could get everything done at once.

OR

a doppelganger (is that spelled right?!!?!) who would help me get stuff done or take my place so I could take a nap.



Halloween pictures will be posted over the weekend. (Probably on Sunday because that is my only day off.)

The Great Costume Revealed

Thanks, for all the guesses as to what Spencer and I are for Halloween. Unfortunately no one guessed correctly.
While we did put some serious thought in to becoming Riff Raff and Magenta of the Rocky Horror Picture Show our budgets did not allow for this costume and we couldn't find a skullet for Spencer.
So the characters we are going to be this evening are....
drum roll please

Britney Spears and Kfed.

The only thing we need to decide now is if we are going to be prebreak up or post breakup.
I think we should be post break up and I can run around with baby dolls upside down and a bottle of Smirnoff vodka. I can also smudge some lipstick on to my face and carry around a dime bag.
But don't worry, I will be wearing underwear and pants.

I'll make sure that my mom or I post some Halloween pictured for your entertainment.


Happy Halloween.

It's the Great Halloween costume contest

Guess what? Spencer and I have finally figured out what we are going to be for Halloween, and it's mostly my fault that it has taken this long. I kept changing my mind about costumes the way people change their underwear.
We went through so many ideas. I'm going to list them and you have to try to guess what we chose. After everyone has made their guess I will reveal the answer.
Here are ideas...
First, Bonnie and Clyde

Then we thought about being Britney and Kfed.


After Britney and Kfed we considered being Marilyn Manson and Dita Von Teese.


We were actually going to go with this until I changed my mind yet again. In came the White Stripes.


Then that quickly faded because I changed my mind and yet another idea for us to choose from - WE COULD be PIRATES. I've never been a pirate before.
After the pirates I thought about a nurse and a doctor.
Cop and the prisoner.
That I had an ah- ha. Let's be characters from the Rocky Horror Picture Show.
We could be Riff Raff and Magenta or Eddie and Columbia.
But not Janet and Brad because I don't feel comfortable in public in my underwear.


After all of this I still had another idea. Spencer could be C.C. Deville and I could be his groupie. I could run around screaming "C.C. I love you!" yep, I could chase Spencer all around the place screaming "C.C."

So ladies and gentleman cast your votes in my comments section and after everyone has taken a guess I will reveal our costume selection.
P.S. Mom, don't tell anyone!!!!

I am in a pissy mood. Yes I am. I'm having a not so great day.
I fell asleep on the bus this morning. That upped my status from loser to dweeb in milliseconds.
Then I arrive at my 8am class, thankfully on time. When I get there I find out that it is simply a work period. Had I known it was going to be a work period I would have stayed home and worked on my sleep. So I surfed the net, facebooked, checked email, wrote emails...for three hours!!!
During my lunch period I sit with my clique from last year except we have all changed so much, that I'm not really part of the clique anymore. I guess because I don't hate my boyfriend, I'm not a single girl or the girl with the boyfriend that lives out of town I don't really fit in. Quite honestly I don't want any part of that. But what annoyed me the most out of the whole thing was that they were talking about how they were going to the bar tonight and it was girl's night and I'm sitting there and not once did they invite me. I would have declined anyways but I just think that is one of the most rudest things people can ever do. It is just so inconsiderate and disrespectful.
Moving on. . .I'm over it.
This afternoon was my media planning class where I had to hand in the beast of an assignment, write a quiz and do review for my midterm exam next week.
The problem with the whole thing is this...
It's a group quiz. My group members very seldom show up for class and when they do, they are late. They don't study and they rely on me for all the answers. They think that they know all the answers...seriously, they will cross out my correct answers and then write some made up bullshit. Then when the test comes back and we have failed yet again they are surprised. I really think that all their drinking in rez has killed what little brain cells they had to begin with.
I spoke to the teacher yet again about this because I am tired of doing all the work, studying and research and still failing. I'm not a model student but I would like decent grades at the end of the semester and this isn't helping. Each quiz is worth 3% which is a total of 15% at the end of the year. Let me tell you, four failed quizzes is catching up with me and I don't want to fail this course. If I fail this course, I will be forced to drop out of the program because I will be unable to continue until the following year. The teacher is "considering" what I have to say and she will "review the quizzes."
Thanks, because she hasn't screwed me over enough this year.
Anyways, I am home now, cranky and moody and here for my family's enjoyment. I have already apologized in advance.
So if you are done with my rant, feel free to check out yesterday's post. It's much sweeter.

Dancing with the Stars

Is my new favourite show. I only became addicted to it because Mel B of the Spice Girls is on the show oh and of course Cameron Mathison who plays Ryan on All My Children. I do have my suspicions that Cameron may be on steroids. He is so bulky and huge but he is body type isn't big enough to have that kind of muscle definition.


I watched the results show last night with Special Guest Jenifer Lopez who gave the most lackluster performance of the year. I don't like Jenifer Lopez at all, in fact she gets on my nerves, but at least she's not claiming to still be "Jenny from the block" anymore.I think Britney Spears on the MTV awards did a much better job and come on we were all expecting a craptastic performance from Britney.
J.Lo is known for shaking her booty and being an excellent dancer and she barely moved all night. Horrible singing, it really is amazing what recording engineers can do to one's voice or lack therof.

Mel B is becoming quite the dancer, it makes me wish even more that I was going to the concert in February. During the commentary her partner was so impressed that he was able to meet all the Spice Girls that he had no comment when Mel B asked if she was still his favourite.


The results show also highlighted Marie Osmond passing out after her performance from the night before, all the celeb television shows are talking about. Marie's excuse...sometimes she forgets to breathe. I'm wondering how the hell you forget to breathe but apparently it happens...to Marie at least.



The judges were picking on Jennie Garth last night, how can you pick on someone that cute? Seriously look at her.

They told her performance wasn't very good. It was a good performance but I have seen better. They picked on her last week too. They said that she broke one of the rules by lifting her feet off the floor. I watched that. Her feet were not off the floor, but Jane Seymore - her feet were flying off the floor. Or maybe I'm just saying that because I don't like her. In fact she is not aging well and she is quite scary. Maybe I should be her for Hallowe'en.

Anyways I can't wait to see next week. It's a rock and roll theme and they played Fallout Boy!!

The Run Around

I am very upset today. I have a client that I use for all my major advertising assignments. So far, she has been an excellent client, she has always been helpful and on top of everything.
Well, this month I have a new and very stressful project for media planning. It is worth 50% of my mark and has over ten components. 7 of these 10 components are due on Thursday. I had asked my teacher if I could use research from an assignment last year, for the same client but I would do a check up with the client and make sure all my information is up to date. She said that it was fine especially since I was doing this project on my own.
I had called my client about two to three weeks ago asking if I could use her establishment again and would she be interested in completing a 12 question review sheet to make sure my information on her business was correct. She didn't respond so I waited a few days and called again. She said that she would love to help me out again and that it would not be a problem. Last Tuesday I dropped off the document for her and asked if I could pick it up on Friday, it was only one page, so I didn't think that she would need more time. She said Friday would be okay. Friday I came to her business expecting to pick up my sheet filled out or at least checked out so that I could go ahead with the project. She had forgotten the sheet at home, I asked if she could bring it the following day, which would be Saturday.
Saturday I went to pick up the document and she wasn't there.
Sunday, Spencer went to pick up the document and again no one was there.
Yesterday, I went to see if anyone was there. No one. I left a message apologising that I had missed her on Saturday and when a good time would be to pick up the document.
Finally, this morning, her receptionist phones me and leaves a message.
Apparently, my client had left the document outside on Saturday because she left early and knew that I would be picking it up. The receptionist apologised and said that now the sheet was misplaced. Here is the problem , this assignment is due on Thursday, I have old information and no new information to back up what I am writing in my assignment. I have no time to wait around for her to fill out new information.
I am extremely upset because a portion of my assignment is blowing around downtown somewhere with confidential information on it.
I don't know what to do.
Should I ask for an extension until next week?
Should I just continue with what I have and hope for the best?
Should I try to find a new client?
I think I am going to go talk to the program coordinator and ask his opinion. Ask him if I should start over or continue with what I have. Maybe I should ask for an extension until next week so I can meet with my client and get some of the new information she had previously provided.
I really don't know and I really don't have time for this.

All I can think about recently is my classmate's death. I can't sleep at night,it keeps me awake. When I do sleep, I dream about him, the way I found out, the way he died, the funeral, everything.
I think about how many lives he touched in 19 short years. How many people are mourning him, how many people wish they would've seen him one last time.
My classes are continuing as if nothing has happened at all, no one makes any mention of him. The rest of my classmates have msn names that mention him, wish him peace, are praying for his family. It's been a week since we heard about his death, three of the men involved are in police custody, the people of the area are working towards cleaning the park where he was shot. But next week, there will be another tid bit of news that takes his place and the rest of the population will forget about him. But for now our advertising class is marked by his death we have had three or four drop outs, a girl leave and work on her certificate over four years because of medical difficulties and now one of our classmates is dead. I think our program is going to remain haunted by this tragedy and we are going to be the ones who will be forever affected by this because one of ours was shot and left to die in a park.
The media are twisting our words, sweeping details under the rug and all we the students are supposed to do are forward the media to the college. That's great because the college is handling this so damn well. It was not until Thursday that a letter was written on behalf of the vice president. A week after his death we get a four sentence letter with the vice president's email on it. We get a brochure on grief and then we are left to our own devices.
I cry for his loss, I cry for his family, I cry for his friends and I cry for all the things he will never experience. Some people such as Sylvia Browne believe that when we are born, we are also marked for our deaths. I don't believe that he was destined to only be here for 19 years. That's not even two decades. I think of how many things I have yet to experience, all the things I want to do, I think off all the places I want to go. I have so many dreams and I know that 19 years is not enough time to fulfill them all. I don't believe that he has fulfilled his purpose in life.
I've been watching the leaves blow in the wind,thinking of him and thinking of all the things he is going to miss. Things he will never experience and I think of how lucky I am. And it's in that exact moment, I am completely thankful for my family, for my friends, for all those that care about me. I am thankful for every experience I've ever had and every experience I will ever have.
All we have is this moment.

I have no idea where to start. I've been thinking about how to write this for a few days but I'm just going to write it and if it doesn't make much sense I apologize now.
Last Thursday, my classmate was in a tragic incident. He was shot once in the chest and unfortunately that one small bullet managed to kill him. According to the newspapers and everything else this was a planned murder. The four suspects went there to deliberately kill him. None of us knew...
One classmate found out when a reporter showed up at her dorm. Another received phone calls from various media all night. Eventually she had to unplug her phone.
She phoned me at work. I called Spencer, I called my mom and I cried a little bit.
My classmate wasn't just my classmate he was my partner for my media project this semester. He was the positive influence in my groups class last year. He was the one person you couldn't be upset around because he would find a way to make you feel better. He always found the positives in a bad situation.
Last year, when I was struggling with a few group members he was there, he helped me any way he could.
He was always smiling, he was always happy. He was my age. He was 19. I really struggle with this thought.
I find it so weird that someone I know, someone that is my age is dead.
He was a skating coach, he was a talented musician with two bands, he was a student, he was a friend, he was a brother and most importantly he was someone's son.
Today at the funeral there were so many people that they didn't have enough room to house us all. We were basically sitting in the rafters of the citadel. The majority of the class showed and so did the program coordinator. The college is making a donation in his name to the Salvation Army which is what the family requested.
I don't think the class will ever be the same. I'm afraid that this situation will hinder the class for the rest of the year. I'm afraid of the huge elephant in the room that we are all distracted by but refuse to accept.
But tomorrow is a new day and we will see how it goes.

Goodlife...my ass

Spencer and I went to Goodlife Fitness Club today to inquire about gym memberships.
Well we didn't sign up for many reasons.
First off, we just wanted to know prices but we had to fill out a questionnaire, write down goals and then get a freakin tour of the gym.
We don't want a tour, we don't need any damn goals, we just want a place where we can work out. We don't want a personal trainer, we don't want a "free" seminar with "so and so" about how to use the equipment. We don't want to sign up for couples workout seminars or spinning classes or any other aerobics classes.
I don't want to know how much I weigh or any of that shit. I just want a place where I can use a treadmill.
As we were filling out or stupid questionnaires, the associate who was "helping" us kept calling me Stacey. First of all that's my name. Secondly when I tell you my name and it's written on paper in front of you, can you at least try to spell it right when you write it down? And you want me to sign up for a membership that will cost me $28 biweekly. That's $48 a month plus the one time fee of $59. What the hell is this one time fee of $59 for if you got rid of the card fee and the membership fee. The associate that was trying to help us was so excited when she was done her little presentation. She thought that she had some new members.
Well we left.
She was disappointed.
And we still don't have a gym membership.

Prayers

My baby sister is really sick.
The doctor's appointment didn't go very well today.
My mom will tell you all about it.
Later.
She will be in the hospital for a while.
Most likely over Thanksgiving weekend.
Please pray for her and keep her in your thoughts.
Thanks
xo

I'm sitting here in class, completely confused by a chart that a software program known as INS has created about bottled water and the adult population. Eventually the instructor gave us a ten minute break which thank god we recieved because I think my brain was about to explode from math and such.
Well, my enemy in the program gets up from his chair and begins skipping through the classroom. Any movement he makes, aggravates not because he looks like a complete jack ass but because he thinks that everyone is watching and he must put on a stellar performance. Because you never know when talent agents are going to come bursting through the classroom door to take him away for broadway performances across the globe.
Slowly but surely he makes his way towards me. I know that he hates me and I hate him but to get under my skin he must come and make smart ass comments.
He starts reading over my shoulder, thats not annoying much. He starts browsing the photos I keep in my binder. Then without delay he starts firing off remarks about how the people in my photos look and how he would never be caught dead looking like that, blah blah, blah. At this point I'm not listening I could care less. I just want him to stop buzzing around me.
Then to try and keep the conversation going, he begins talking about the INS charts and how confusing they are. I keep ignoring him, pretending he is not there, hoping that he will go away. Far away.
Disappointed by the fact that I would not engage in useless conversation with him he drifts back to his seat across the room.

Now I sit here wondering where those talent agents are and when they are going to come busting into the college to take him away.

I HATE

College was not supposed to be like this.
There wasn't supposed to be all this high school drama crap.
People were supposed to be kind and friendly.
They weren't supposed to be shallow and self centred.
I hate college.
I hate advertising.
I hate riding the bus.
I hate people,that I don't know or people that I do know and don't like.
I hate Web Techniques, Adobe Illustrator, Quark Xpress etc.
I hate computer labs.
I'm enjoying this ranting.
It's making me feel better.
Thanks.

Sunrise

I was up early enough to see the sunrise this morning. It was gorgeous but then it reminded me that I was up this freakin early for school. Anyways, I thought that I would share a picture of it from my camera phone. This picture was actually sent to me about a month ago when Spencer was working nights. The crew sent him on a coffee run and he managed to grab this picture with a tray full of coffee.

The Filthy Habit

I must rant about this. It has been driving me nuts.
I hate smoking and everything about it.
Everywhere I go on campus there is some asshole with a cigarette in his hand or mouth. They're standing in the bus shelters that are clearly labelled "No Smoking."
I really believe that there is no reason for people my age to be smoking. With everything we know about smoking, with all the help there is in Ontario to help smokers quit there should be no one smoking.
Smoking in Ontario is practically illegal and yet they won't put down the tube full of toxins.
In Ontario, smokers are no longer allowed to smoke indoors of any restaurant or public building.
Smokers are not allowed to smoke in any covered area including bus shelters, restaurant and bar patios.
Last year the government implemented a law which bans parents/guardians from smoking in their vehicles when they are children present.
I am so sick and tired and going outside and walking through clouds of smoke.
I'm sick and tired of inhaling other people's bad habits.
This bad habit does not only affect the smoker themselves but it affects the people around them. Second hand smoke is just as bad as smoking itself.
I'm also tired of smokers claiming that they have rights. Yes they do have rights but when your filthy habit begins to affect the others around you it is no longer a right. Also, smoking is not a right it is a privledge, it is a choice that one makes of their own free will. If you want to smoke in peace, go into your home, all by yourself and smoke away. No one will bother you there, no one can take away your "right."
As a non smoker I can say that smoking is YOUR bad habit and I did not choose to inhale chemicals and toxins into my body.
The next time I am waiting in the bus shelter or any other public place and I kindly ask you to move aside because the smoke is bothering, don't tell me about your rights, just move.
If you refuse to use the resources that the region has provided for you to help quit, if you refuse to abide by the laws, if you refuse to ignore the facts, then you have made your choice. And you have to live it with it. Not me.

looking back on four months

. ....... . .OF SUMMER.
The summer has officially come to an end. Tomorrow I will be back at school. Dreadfully. I'm not looking forward to this at all. I can tell you that much, I hope that if I keep reminding myself that it's only eight more months, I can survive it.
But anyways, in a more positive note. I have had the last four months off, and here's what I did.
- The Kickoff (the month of May) of the summer began with a concert in Toronto at the Kool Haus. We went and saw Finger Eleven on May 11th.
- L's goodbye party at the hotel. Yeah, we threw her a sweet party at the Comfort Inn.
- Jesse's may 24 party. I called in sick to work ALL weekend. Spencer and I did two full trays of jello shooters and then a girl puked on my feet.
- I say goodbye to L. She leaves for Holland. We cry and then I give her my aviators, because she doesn't want anyone to see her crying. We promise to write and call each other but we don't.
- At the end of may, Spencer and I spent four days in beautiful Niagara Falls, we did some stupid tourist stuff, caused some havoc and then left.
JUNE
Working, sleeping, tubing,swimming, a trip to my Grandma's trailer where Spencer spent the evening chasing fireflies. My mom's birthday. My kid sisters are done school for the year, so I no longer have free reign of the house with my mom.
JULY
- July 9th. The White Stripes.
- July 11th. The pot smoking convention also known as a Tool concert in Hamiliton.
- July 24th. The Family Values Tour featuring Korn and Evanescence with some lame bands in between, Skye Sweetnam being crusty and the Criss Angel look a like.
Throw in some tubing, swimming, and G's birthday at the cottage.
AUGUST
- August 10th. Marilyn Manson. Hell of a show, and to Spencer's surprise I knew a few songs.
- August 11th. David Wilcox at the Blues Festival Downtown. Spencer surprised me and knew some David Wilcox tunes. After we went to the boathouse and saw his friend play and tear the roof off.
- August 17th. I quit my crappy job for A&P, in fact I leave in the middle of my shift.
- August 22nd. I start my new job and fall in love with my discount.
- August 28th. Poison rocks the end of summer with my mom, Jethro, Heidi and Spencer.
Oh yeah, don't forget to throw in my sister doing some CRAAAZZY tubing with the guys, G's boat accident and
September
- September 2nd. Spencer and I finally make it to the club for the first time without L. We went with some people from A&P. People I like anyways. And this brings four months of fun to an end.
But thankfully, I'm working on a trip to Dominican Republic or Mexico for May 2008 when I am done school.

In a few short days I will be back at the place most dreaded for eight months of the year.
Am I ready???
Hells no.
Do I have money saved for text books...
um does $60 count when I need $260?
I don't have my bus pass yet and I just started a brand new job and I'm not too sure if there is a hold back on my cheque. I really hope not because I haven't picked up my osap yet and that takes two weeks to process before the money is deposited into my bank account.
So at this point you are probably wondering why I haven't done a damn thing about it. Well, let me explain that I absolutely hate BTS (back to school) because I always feel that I haven't had enough "fun" yet.
Also, what freaked me out the most was on Tuesday(exactly one week until I return to school)I went to Wal Mart where a troll (I mean an employee) jumped in front me and asked me about school supplies. He was inches away from my face and asking me if I needed supplies for BTS. My jaw dropped as I muttered the words "No thanks" and hurried out of the store.
See definately not ready to return and thankfully I have the long weekend ahead of me where I can forget about that place until Tuesday.

Frustrated.

I have been trying to contact my union or head office or anyone that will listen to me about what happened last Friday at work. No one will return my calls, no one will return my emails and time is running out. I have seven days to file a grievance with the union. I have until tomorrow morning to get this sorted out and I'm getting really worried and frustrated because not a single person will listen to what I have to say. Last night after several attempts to contact someone from the union I gave up and I filed a grievance with Labour Standards. Hopefully something turns up and they want to talk to me. I have left three messages for my union rep and I have sent two emails to the union asking them to get back to me. Nothing. At. All.
So I have decided that if no one wants to talk to me about what happened or deal with me I'm going to contact the newspaper. I'm sure the region would love to hear about how A&P treats their employees. I'm sure they would love to know how I needed medical attention and no one wanted to let me leave the store. I will raise hell about this and I'm sure my mom will help me bring them down because she too has had enough of them.
In other news though, my new job is going fantastically well and I'm enjoying it. I get awesome benefits for being their employee and I'm actually allowed to move and walk around and talk to people. I don't have to sit in a corner and shut up. I get a 30 minute lunch for every five hour shift which I really like because I never had that at my old job and the people I work with seem very kind.
So let's see how this goes, I probably won't like it as much in a couple weeks or a month but I think anywhere is better than where I was.

The Crapshack

So today I quit my job. On the spot. It felt soo damn good. Seriously.
I had enough of their crap. I had asked three times to go home because I was having problems with my shoulder again. In fact, I was losing the feeling in my arm and my arm would go weak and numb. My right shoulder and arm had become practically useless. I had been in constant pain. Well, work refused to let me go home. I had asked one of the managers and he told me I was not his problem. So on my break, I phoned my house and asked my mom to help me calm down because I was livid, I was in pain and I was tired of being treated like a second rate citizen by people who abuse the power they are given. I told her I wanted to quit on the spot and she actually said it was okay for me to do this because I had been in this prediciment more than once with office personnel or management. I hung up with her, cleaned out my locker went to the office and told them I was quitting and that I wanted my paycheque. The office person told me I had to speak with management. I refused. I wanted out of the crapshack that has ruined my body, the crapshack that has caused me so many sleepless nights. The crapshack that had screwed me over oh so many times. The crapshack that refuses to pay my boyfriend for his workplace injury, the crapshack that has treated it's employees like second rate citzens.
This was the final straw, the last time I would let them make me feel worthless.
This was not the only incident that had taken place today. I had informed them of a second job and that I may need a leave of absence or to coordinate the two schedules. Well, office personnel took it upon themselves to give away my hours, which they cannot do. So I filed a grievance with the union and now they will have to pay me for the lost wages. So, in the end they lost another employee and now they still have to pay me for a week's work despite the fact that I am no longer employed there. Oh and that injury I described earlier that they wouldn't let me leave for, I went to the clinic and it was a pinched nerve.
I am writing to head office and I have contacted the union regarding this. I will not go down quietly.

The Marilyn Manson Concert

Tomorrow nite, I will be at the Manson/Slayer concert. I am enthused to see the freak turnout but not so enthused to sit through hours of music I don't enjoy. However I have been promised that alcoholic beverages will be purchased for me because I am enduring at least three hours of metal.

I am however excited because I have this bitchin' outfit to wear, I get to see my sister and my boyfriend thrash around and headbang and hey this will be one hell of a freak show!

To Masonize myself and get totally pumped for this concert I have been reading Marilyn Manson's book which I must say is a really excellent book so far. The novel is quite twisted, sick, disturbing and really intriguing. It covers a lot of sexuality so far. I mean a lot, the first chapter has sexuality and I am only half way through the book.

It's a good read but before you make any purchases, read a few pages from each chapter to see if you can bring yourself to read the novel from beginning to end. Seriously they were a few pages where I struggled to read and sometimes it made me feel sick to my stomach.

Anyways, I will try to take some pictures for you and I will let you know how the show went.

Rockin' blogger award

My mom gave me the rockin' blogger award because apparently I rock.
It's been a long time since I have had anything to write about or since blogger has decided to let me into my account to write anything new.
All you have really missed, is work sucking the life outta me. Seriously it has swallowed my soul like the demonic woman in the cellar from Evil Dead.
I went to the Family Values Tour where I sat through hours of screaming music, and waited until 9pm for Korn to come onstage then they didn't even play the one damn song that I like. I was not happy with this at all.
On August 10th is the Marilyn Manson concert. It's undecided wether or not I am going but if I am going I may be liquoured up. Who know's it all depends on how much money I have and wether or not I'm going to be cheap.
On August 28th is the Poison concert, which I am ridiculously excited about. I'm going to go all 80's and my mom is coming with me...she's going to tease her hair. I'm going to make a poster that says "I love you C.C. Deville."
Back to school is slowly creeping up on me and I'm getting scared. I don't want to go back.
But at least it's only one year left.
I want to look into some other things because I am not happy with advertising at all.
Anyways, that's all new with me.
Thanks for reading

The Tool Concert.
It was an experience.
Actually, it was the Pot Smoker's Convention which had rolled into Hamilton.
Spencer and I were some of the few people who weren't smoking pot at the concert. Almost everyone in our row were smoking pot.
I think it is safe to say that the people successfully hot boxed the colliseum.
The girl next to Spencer was doing this crazy robot dancing thing that was scaring the crap outta me. She was scaring the crap out of Spencer as well and eventually he was able to put some distance between him and crazy robot drug induced dancing girl.
I was so amazed by the fans though because the band wasn't even on stage yet and people were excited, screaming, cheering.
I'm still not a big Tool fan though. The concert didn't transform me into a hardcore fan or anything like that but it was interesting to say the least.
On the upside of all the pot smoking and people rocking out to music that is not my favorite, I got an awesome t-shirt out of the deal. It's probably my fav concert shirt.

Please come now I think I'm falling
I'm holding to all I think is safe
It seems I found the road to nowhere
And I'm trying to escapeI yelled back when I heard thunder
But I'm down to one last breath
And with it let me say
Let me say
Hold me nowI'm six feet from the edge and I'm thinking
That maybe six feet
Ain't so far down
I'm looking down now that it's over
Reflecting on all of my mistakes
I thought I found the road to somewhere
Somewhere in His grace
I cried out heaven save me
But I'm down to one last breath
And with it let me say
Let me say
Hold me now
I'm six feet from the edge and I'm thinking
That maybe six feet
Ain't so far down
Sad eyes follow me
But I still believe there's something left for me
So please come stay with me
'Cause I still believe there's something left for you and me
For you and me
For you and me
Hold me nowI'm six feet from the edge and
I'm thinking

The White Stripes were totally kick ass.

There are a few things I have learned about the White Stripes.

1. They have such a weird fan base. It doesn't consist of one or two types of people but several.

2. They are not a typical band. For example, they opened with a song I had never heard before. Third song in, they played their newest release "Icky Thump" (which is a bitchin' song by the way), and they closed with a song we had never heard of either. But when they played Seven Nation Army the place went nuts. Unfortunately they didn't play conquest, blue orchid, denial twist or walking with a ghost.

When they played "We are going to be friends" drunk rocker mom, got up in her chair started dancing and then fell. I laughed hysterically. She was funny before she was drunk, but when she fell, that was the best.

3. I love Meg White she is so awesome. She was playing the drums all night with her eyes closed.

I now understand why the one guy was wearing a t-shirt that said "Meg me." She is totally kick ass and she is a female rocker with talent. Talent that is not engineered in a studio somewhere in the United States.

4. The White Stripes are not just a concert, they are an experience. It is something that you must see for yourself.

p.s. I love this dress, Meg is wearing.

Tomorrow, I will tell you the things I don't understand about the Stripes and funny concert goers.

Tonight is the White Stripes concert,

but first we are going to Ontario Place.

I'm so excited.

I'll let you know how it goes.

Dates and places for the Spice Girls Farewell Tour have been released. Unfortunately the girls are NOT COMING to CANADA. *cough* bitches *cough* Come to Canada...*bitches*

I am so disappointed. I have been waiting for a Spice Girls reunion for years and now that there is a reunion they won't even come to Canada. Don't they know that some of their biggest fans are here? In fact, there are four in this household. I am so upset. I have been waiting since I was 8 years old to see these girls in concert.

I just want to know how I can Spice Up My Life if they don't come to Canada.

Smelly Passenger

Today Spencer and I were on the bus going back to my house to wrap some birthday presents for my mom. We were enjoying public transportation when the stink arrived. A few passengers got on the bus and one of them smelled very bad. The smell was absolutely undescribeable. Actually, it was rotting onion, Burger King grease, McDonald's grease and east india spices. There may have been some rotting garbage in there as well.
The smell was so bad.
I dug through my purse looking for some minty gum that I could chew that would mask the horrid smell. Nothing.
That's when it hit me. I had a brilliant idea whether or not Spencer agreed, I was prepared to do this anyways.
I had my Lipsyl Aloha Breeze chapstick in my bag. I knew that the fruity fragrance would mask the disgustingness I was suffering through.
I quickly dabbed some on the end of my nose and asked Spencer if he would like some. He replied "Oh God, yes." I dabbed some on the end of his nose.
Halfway home the smell got off the bus and once again we enjoyed public transportation.

Pictures as Promised in no particular order

At Planet Hollywood. Spencer kissing an alien.














The falls of course.














We went to the Hershey's Chocolate store but we never bought anything.
When Spencer went to hug the kiss, he almost toppled it over.















Haha, folded toilet paper...I am so immature.















The most comfortable bed I have ever slept in,
if there was one thing that I could have brought back from Niagara Falls
it would have been this bed
















At the Ripley's "Believe it or Not" muesum. . .



















On our last nite in Niagara Falls we took it upon oursleves to be juvenile deliquents. By covering our faces we're hoping to not get caught.

This is Spencer and I at the Harley Davidson store,

we asked an elderly couple to take the picture.

The Magical Land of Niagara Falls: Day Three

On the third day of our trip we didn't get up until 1pm and then we decided to go out to Clifton Hill once again. We walked the length of the falls and felt the mist from the falls hit our faces it was so cool. After we walked the length of the falls we went to Planet Hollywood. I had always wanted to go to Planet Hollywood and I was so excited when we finally made it there. Unfortunately Planet Hollywood was extremely overpriced, the food was terrible and there was very little celebrity memorbilia. We barely ate the food, and we hurried to get out of there. After the Planet Hollywood experience we both felt sick, so we went back to the hotel and spent the rest of the day laying in bed, and making several trips to the bathroom.
I finally said to Spencer "This is our last night in Niagara Falls and I don't want to spend it laying in bed, feeling sick. I want to go out to dinner and we will go somewhere where we know the food is consistent and if we feel too sick, then we can come back to the hotel." We got dressed and ready for dinner, then we went to Kelsey's which is one of our fav restaurants. After Kelsey's we walked around, deciding what we wanted to do, we went to the Midway and played some games. Not only did we play games, we sniped the occassional game ticket from kids, played the games where the tickets were overdue and they ran out so the people of the midway had to give us extra tickets and then Spencer got himself some "souvenirs." My boyfriend the juvenile deliquent did not pay for one single souvenir. No he took, the paddle from an air hockey table, kept his cloth napkin from Kelsey's restaurant, the pencil from the mini golf course and a postcard from a convience store where we had an incident with the owner. I on the other hand, paid for all my souvenirs and used the tickets from the midway to get a shot glass.
After our fun at the midway, we went to wait for the shuttle bus back to the hotel. On the way there we passed this indoor maze with the annoying voice overs...that not once did we enter the whole time we were there. Since it was so annoying, I took a handful of their brochures for Spencer. Well, Spencer had a better idea. When we went to the casino to wait for our shuttle bus, Spencer took the velvet ropes and built his own maze, then he took the brochures from the annoying maze and posted them all over his maze. Then he laughed. Then I laughed, then I tried to calm him down because I did not want the casino security to come over.
When the bus finally arrived, Spencer asked the driver if he could take his picture with him, just to further his deliquentness for the evening.
Thursday morning we got up early to pack our things and go downstairs for one last free breakfast. We were so sad to leave, and the whole walk back to the bus terminal we tried to think of reasons we could use to stay in Niagara Falls. We couldn't really come up with anything, unfortunately. And on Friday we returned to work, where I realised that my job is slowly sucking the soul out of me. I wanted to cry when I returned to work, not because my vacation was over but because I truly hate my job and everything that goes along with it. I just wanted to be back in Niagara, with the sun beaming down on me, walking the length of the falls, cracking jokes, taking pictures and enjoying myself. If I could go back there tomorrow I would.
Anyways, I have a ton of pictures and I will do a collage of them soon, just to prove that I really was there.

The Magical Land of Niagara Falls: Day Two

We slept in on Tuesday morning and when we decided to drag our butts out of bed, we went back to Clifton Hill. When we arrived at Clifton Hill we used our two for one tickets and went into the Ripley's Believe it Or Not muesem. It was pretty entertaining. There is some weird stuff in there. I would show you pictures but the boyfriend has yet to upload them from the digital camera. At the very end of the tour, there was a fun house that we played in for about half an hour. Especially the moving tunnel, with the glowing lights.

After the muesem we decided to play mini golf. Glow in the dark style. Needless to say, I should not be allowed to play mini golf. I was way over par by almost 40 points...is that even what you call it? I don't know. The golf course really pissed us off. With the obstacles 'n' shit.

Last but not least we went to a souvenir shop and has this done....

The woman taking the picture asked if I would like to hold anything such as an umbrella or a bouquet of flowers and I said in semi southern drawl "I wanna gun."

And a gun was what I got.

After the photos we went back to the hotel for a swim in the pool before going out to dinner.

to be continued. . .

The Magical Land of Niagara Falls: Day One

On Thursday, Spencer and I returned from Niagara Falls despite the fact that we didn't want to. Our trip was highly successful to say the least, there were only a few minor problems that were solved easily and they didn't ruin the trip.
On Monday, we took the greyhound bus from our hometown to Niagara Falls so it took five hours, then when we arrived I got us lost. I gave Spencer the unofficial tour of Niagara Falls but on the upside we found a liquor store. It's like I can smell them. Eventually Spencer took the map from me and got us to the hotel.
The hotel we stayed at was absolutely gorgeous. King size pillow top bed, free HBO, indoor swimming pool, sauna, gym and even the toilet paper was folded. We found that hilarious and to be a waste of the maid's time but whatever. We had a free shuttle bus that ran from the hotel to Clifton Hill every hour and it picked us up at Clifton Hill every hour.
The first thing we did in Niagara Falls was go to Clifton Hill and check out some of the muesums. We went to the moving theatre, and the Believe it or not muesum of oddities. Then we went to Montana's for dinner. We walked up and down the hill and picked out the things we were going to do the next day. We also walked to the falls, to see if there were going to be any fireworks but the whole time we were there, we didn't see any fireworks by the falls.
So at 11pm we went back to the hotel and went swimming then went to bed. . .

Tomorrow morning we leave for our trip to Niagara Falls.

I have nothing new to say.

This is my best friend Liz, you all know her as "L." Yesterday she left for Holland. She moved back there to live with her mom and younger siblings. She may return in January. It all depends on how things go in Holland and if she can get a job there making more money than here. She's a millright...is that how you spell it? i have no idea. We all have to wait until January and hope that she decides to come back. While she's gone, we won't be able to celebrate her birthday with her, she won't be here to celebrate her boyfriend's birthday, she won't be here to get drunk of her ass with me this summer which is what we were all looking forward to, this is so bizarre for all of us. She only told us she was leaving two weeks ago and we all thought she was just talking but when she came to see me at work earlier this week to say her goodbyes to me, I knew that she really was going away. Hopefully she will return, I really hope she does.

I'm not exactly sure what this means...

Three Things

I was watching the very last episode of 7th Heaven today and I didn't like the ending. The whole family decides to get in a RV and go across the country with no destination and there is one stipulation - that each person can only bring three items not including clothes or personal items such as hygenic products.
This got me thinking, if I were to get in a RV and be able to bring only three things what would I bring? I couldn't decide between the following items:
- my hair straightener
- my ipod
- my bear that I've had since I was a baby
- photo albums
- a journal to keep track of my adventures

I really don't know what I would I would bring. Tell me what you would bring on an adventure with no destination and your clothes /hygenic products are already taken care of and your immediate family members are with you.

I haven't been around in blogland recently. Mostly because I didn't know what to write about or what to say. I've bitched about work until I'm blue in the face, there's no more school to complain about. Right now, it's up to me to tell you about my every day adventures and to be honest, I never really thought my life was interesting or that my writing was that good.
This was just my place to vent and whine about how "unfair" my life is. I never suspected that anyone other than my mom and Heidi would read it. I didn't think that anyone would come across my blog and find it interesting.
Today I have a few readers who stop by my blog everyday and leave comments so I know that they were there.
Dilling nominated me for a Thinking Blogger award. I think that is awesome and I am really excited about this because it means that someone reads my blog and thinks its good. It's not just a rant line.
I have no idea who I will nominate. This is going to take some serious thinking. I enjoy all the blogs read and I think they are all great. I think they all have something to offer. So if you haven't already, check out my links list because they are all good.

CAMP OUT TONITE

Rubber + Heat = Fire

On Wednesday, after Spencer and I crawled our asses out of bed around 1pm we decided we were going to go to the Mandarin's All You Can Eat Buffet for an enjoyable eating experience. This was going well until we arrived at the Mandarin at 2:55pm at which point we were told that the buffet was closing in five minutes but we were more than welcome to go in and eat for five minutes. We decided that we would return around dinner time when they reopened.
Since Spencer's mother drove us up there we were forced to participate in her errands since we had about 90 minutes to kill.
She had to go to Canadian Tire to return a steering wheel cover that she didn't want for whatever reason. We decided to wait in the car. After what seemed like an eternity, she returned with a new steering wheel cover. As we were driving back to the house she told us that the representative from the Automotive department told her to put the cover in the microwave for a minute because it would allow for the cover to bend, and mold to the steering wheel better. Spencer and I looked at her like she was crazy and as Spencer tried to tell her that it would be a really bad idea to put the cover in the microwave I tried to maintain my laughter.
When we returned to the house, Spencer's mother tried to cram the cover into the microwave and go figure it didn't fit. Since she was determined to put the cover in the microwave, we needed to find a way to shove it in there. Spencer folded it about 3 times, threw it in the microwave and slammed the door closed before it could pop back open. I stood there laughing.
After debating how long it should be in there, they decided that they would check on it after 30 seconds. 30 seconds came and past. Spencer opened the microwave door to find a flaming steering wheel cover. Smoke and the scent of burning rubber filled the kitchen in a matter of seconds. Spencer's mom grabbed the cover and threw it out on the front porch at which point she proceeded to rant about the fool jackass who sold her the damn steering wheel cover and told her to put it in the microwave.
Spencer and I laughed.
Then we took pictures.
And we laughed some more.
I'm not sure if the steering wheel cover was returned to Canadian Tire or not but I'm sure it was or will be interesting when she returns to the store with the remains of a rubber steering wheel cover.

Last night was the Finger Eleven concert and it was also the first concert I had been to since March 2006. Some concertage was long overdue. We left the city around 5pm to get to the Kool Haus in Toronto.
Spencer and I looked pretty punk rock. . .for a non metal band. We painted our fingernails black and what not. Spencer wore a fishnet shirt. I on the otherhand wore some beat up jeans and a bright pink sweater. It didn't matter though because we bought some concert tees.
The first two opening bands really sucked. Seriously. The first band was so terrible I thought it was a joke. I was waiting for someone to come on stage and say "Haha, you are all on candid camera." It never happened.
When Finger Eleven finally came on I was so excited. I remained calm for fear of scaring the boyfriend with my stupidity and excitement. Heidi and my mother know exactly what I am talking about.
As usual with every concert, there is some idiot who gets too drunk and stumbles around and just makes a general ass of himself. This idiot found himself located in our general area. The first couple times we tolerated him, then he spilled beer all over me and started pushing me around.
SO, what did we do to get even? Well, Spencer pushed him and made him spill the remainder of his beer, while I elbowed him in the face, all before he was escorted out of the building by five bouncers. This idiot made me miss my fav song off the new album, but I still got to see "One Thing" and "Paralyzer" so it was pretty awesome.
The show seemed to go pretty fast and I wasn't done rocking out but like all good things it must come to an end.
Overall Finger Eleven puts on a really good show and I have yet to see a crappy concert. So I've only been to three but they have all been really good.
Spencer and I are already planning the next one because we hope that this will be a summer full of concerts.

Guess what today is. . .

I know that I bitch about work . . . a lot. But recently it has been an extra large pain in my ass. Seriously. My manager is being a serious . . .(you fill in the blank) I told my manager that I could no longer work on Sundays or Mondays. Well she has scheduled me to work Sundays even though I told her that I couldn't. Then she fucked up my schedule for the week. . . Tuesday is the Finger Eleven concert and over a month ago I booked Tuesday and Wednesday off. Well the (fill in your own words) scheduled me to work Wednesday morning. Not happening. I had to rearrange the rest of my hours for the week so now I'm working Thursday, Friday and Saturday. And you know damn well, she's going to schedule me to work Sunday. I have never been more frustrated with anyone the way I am with her.
I know that I hate my job, but I have never hated it the way I do now. I used to be able to make myself go in because of the great people I worked with or because I thought I needed the money. I have come to realise that as much as I love money, the stress from this job is not worth it. As much as I love my fellow employees this job is not worth it. I think if the issues at work aren't resolved or we can't come to an agreement on my availabilty that I will have to put my notice in.
Putting my two weeks notice in, is something that I don't want to do because I have to rebuild my senority all over again, and work crappy hours and...it just sucks.
I really want to resolve this issue but at the same time I wonder is it really worth it?

Today was my last day of classes and exams, and I am really paranoid that I did not pass three of my classes. I have good reason for this, one class I was really struggling in and two of these classes were my highest marks but the exams for them just killed me.
All I need is a 55 in each course to return in the fall. If I don't pass, I am in big trouble to say the least. I'm hoping that I knew enough or could bullshit enough to get 55's in those three courses.

400

Yesterday, I wrote about a boy from my highschool who recently passed away(...if you haven't been reading check the entry below). I was upset and I felt terrible for all those who are mourning his loss. I keep checking the online memorium that someone started for him.
It's absolutely amazing because in a matter of minutes, this group went from having a few members to over 400 members. Over 400 people have pulled together to say something kind about this person. 400 people have pulled together to share stories, memories and photographs of this person.
I think it's truly incredible that in 18 years of life this person was able to get to know 400 people. How many of us can say that we have touched the lives of over 400 people. I thought that was really cool how people came together to support each other. I never imagined that so many people could be connected. I know at least 10 people who knew this person who passed away and those people know 10 more. Isn't it crazy how we are all connected? It makes the world seem much smaller than it is and a little less scary.

Why do all good things come to an end?

I had no idea what to write about the last couple days. I have been so busy bitching about school and work that I had no idea what was going on with my high school friends. For the most part I had written them off, forgotten about them because we had spoken in months. I figured I had moved on and so had they.
When I went online yesterday I saw that everyone had the words REST IN PEACE in their name with the name of a boy I went to high school with. I started instant messaging my friends from high school. It was true, this boy was in a car accident that killed him instantly. 18 years old, his whole life ahead of him and now he is gone. I only knew of him, I didn't know him personally, but I know a ton of people who did know him personally.
I sit here, reading memorials, reading memories of this person and memories of high school come flooding back to me. High school seemed so long ago, but today I am right there all over again. I'm walking through the caf in my blue polyster pants and white cotton golf shirt, looking for my friends. It was so crowded, our school was overpopulated by about 500 people. We had three lunches and finding your friends was a task. I hated high school, but at the same time I find myself wishing I was there right now.
I wish I could be there for my friends, but I don't know how to be there. I listen to them , I tell them it will be okay, but how can you promise that when you don't know for sure. I think that they have a point when they say you don't realise how important something is until it's gone.

I'm really ready for the weekend. It's been a long stressful week. Why is it that teacher's nail you with all sorts of projects, tests etc at the end of the semester? Why can't they give you these things at the beginning and give you all semester to do it?
If I could count the number of times I have screamed, cried, screamed at my computer/printer, felt like kicking and punching or just throwing a full out temper tantrum this time I would need to be locked away. The stress this week has been incredible.
Work has been screwing me over. I complained about something and my manager then decides that since I complained, she's going to take me from 20 hours a week to 8 or 9. I can't live on 8 or 9 hours a week. It's complete bull. There are all these people with less seniority than me who have 20+ hours a week. So I have decided that I am taking their hours, and there is nothing they can do about it. Thank you very much craptastic union.
In other news, I am going out tonite and I have put a rather large dent in my homework pile.
I still have a few calls to make and some projects to work on but it is slowly being completed.

The Secret Side of My Boyfriend

[There is no internet at home right now so any checking of the blogs is being done at school and I think I am dying without internet at home. Seriously. Dying. Without. It.
Anyways, I will be posting periodically from school just to rant about stuff such as my craptastic job and school. ]
Last nite, the insignificant other, L and I went to the club. The insignificant other has never been there and L and I haven't been there in months. After the world's shittiest day at work on Saturday, this was something we all needed.
The insignificant other and I decided that we would drink some bacardi before going. (Bacardi is a party if you ask me.) The insignificant other was extremely nervous about going to the club because it's all hip hop and rap and this is not his scene at all. If they would have been playing metal all night he would have been fine but . . . he went anyways and he enjoyed himself. We ran into some of his friends there too so it wasn't all bad.
The best part of the night was finding out that my boyfriend secretly likes rap and knows quite a few rap songs. Also he has rhythm. It was kick ass because I have no rhythm so if I dance with him, he makes me look good. Who knew that my boyfriend was a fan of Ludacris? I didn't. Oh and Run DMC. Yeah, he was right in there like a dirty shirt singing along with us.
It was a really good night, despite trying to get past security because I was drunk at an all ages bash and forgot my ID at home. Security is getting tighter there, and they're not selling past capacity anymore. I'm glad that they have made some changes because this is one of my fav hang outs and it's pretty cheap in terms of entertainment.
After three hours of dancing non- stop we decided to call it a night. Some of us had to work or go to school in the morning. Don't people know that it is Easter Monday. . .I should have the day off. I really should but whatever. I'll get over it.
So here I sit at school trying to design a CD cover for Finger Eleven. I also have to develop a point of purchase display and design a logo for myself. There are so many projects and so little time. The good news is that my boyfriend rocks and he went out and got me a copy of Adobe Illustrator and Photoshop so I can do some work at home. This is the highlight of my day. It really is because now I can do some work at home and I don't have to run around like a lunatic trying to find a computer lab with these programs.
That's all for now, I have to get some more work done. So far my CD cover looks like I have set Finger Eleven on fire. I have no logo for myself and I've barely started my Point of Purchase project.
ttyl

The Weekend. Rather Uneventful.

This past Friday, the insignificant other and I had a dinner date with two other couples. We had to run some errands before heading out to our dinner date, so while shopping in the corporate hell known as Wal-Mart, L calls and tells us to dress up nicely and look appropriate. Last time I checked we were eating at a bar and grill. Whatever. We were going to anyways because I always have to make myself look hotter than L. We rushed through our shopping and went back to my house to get ready. I decided to wear my mini skirt with leggings and a loose top. It looked good. I did the smokey eye make up along with the curly, tossled hair. The insignificant other wore khakis and a black dress shirt. I wanted us to look damn good and I knew damn well that if we didn't L would bitch.
As usual the insignificant other and I were running late. What can I say? It takes time to look that damn good. Our reservations were for 8:30, we get a call at 8:15 demanding to know where we were...uh we have another 15 minutes. We finally arrive there and the insignificant other notices that L and her boyfriend are checking us out. Damn right you are.
We sit down. We order. I have my favorite drink, a frozen raspberry twister. Two types of smirnoff with a raspberry liquer. I'm sitting across the table from L and notice that she is NOT dressed nicely, neither is her boyfriend. They are wearing jeans. L has a tube top on with a suit jacket and high heels. Her boyfriend has on a hoodie with a big flame on it and a pair of jeans. I was not impressed, you phone me and tell me to look good but you two look like you found some clothes on the bedroom floor and threw them together. It was a mish mash of bad clothes. Seriously. I was not impressed and neither was my insignificant other. We got over it though, because we looked good and we knew it. You can tell you look good when guys check you out and girls give you the evil glare.
After dinner we hung around for awhile, and talked. It was good to see L, it seems that when she has a boyfriend she forgets that she has friends. This is truly sad because we used to be really close and together every weekend, this has all changed. We parted ways and I went to the insignificant other's house for a little while before I went home.
Saturday, I went to work. It was weird, since my hours have been cut back when I returned to work I couldn't remember what I was doing or supposed to be doing. I seem to have way too much fun at work and really shouldn't be paid to do the things I do. When I finished my shift, my insignificant other came and picked me up. It was a good surprise. We ended up eating pizza at 1am and falling asleep watching TV with a pizza box in the bed. We woke up around 2pm on Sunday when his father phoned to remind him that he was going to be there in 20 minutes to take him out for his birthday. We threw ourselves together while listening to Finger Eleven and talking about how great this concert is going to be. I made my way home in my dirty clothes and spent the rest of the nite doing assignments ahead of time.