Friday, October 19, 2007

All I can think about recently is my classmate's death. I can't sleep at night,it keeps me awake. When I do sleep, I dream about him, the way I found out, the way he died, the funeral, everything.
I think about how many lives he touched in 19 short years. How many people are mourning him, how many people wish they would've seen him one last time.
My classes are continuing as if nothing has happened at all, no one makes any mention of him. The rest of my classmates have msn names that mention him, wish him peace, are praying for his family. It's been a week since we heard about his death, three of the men involved are in police custody, the people of the area are working towards cleaning the park where he was shot. But next week, there will be another tid bit of news that takes his place and the rest of the population will forget about him. But for now our advertising class is marked by his death we have had three or four drop outs, a girl leave and work on her certificate over four years because of medical difficulties and now one of our classmates is dead. I think our program is going to remain haunted by this tragedy and we are going to be the ones who will be forever affected by this because one of ours was shot and left to die in a park.
The media are twisting our words, sweeping details under the rug and all we the students are supposed to do are forward the media to the college. That's great because the college is handling this so damn well. It was not until Thursday that a letter was written on behalf of the vice president. A week after his death we get a four sentence letter with the vice president's email on it. We get a brochure on grief and then we are left to our own devices.
I cry for his loss, I cry for his family, I cry for his friends and I cry for all the things he will never experience. Some people such as Sylvia Browne believe that when we are born, we are also marked for our deaths. I don't believe that he was destined to only be here for 19 years. That's not even two decades. I think of how many things I have yet to experience, all the things I want to do, I think off all the places I want to go. I have so many dreams and I know that 19 years is not enough time to fulfill them all. I don't believe that he has fulfilled his purpose in life.
I've been watching the leaves blow in the wind,thinking of him and thinking of all the things he is going to miss. Things he will never experience and I think of how lucky I am. And it's in that exact moment, I am completely thankful for my family, for my friends, for all those that care about me. I am thankful for every experience I've ever had and every experience I will ever have.
All we have is this moment.

6 comments:

Biddie said...

Some people think that you go when your time is up. Like maybe 19 years was all of the time that he was supposed to have.
I dunno.
He certainly made a huge difference in a lot of lives. He was a good person, and a great big brother, a wonderful son. He will not be forgotten.
I think of his family, too, though. I can not imagine losing one of my kids. I would never get out of bed again.
Really.
Keep praying, it will help.
xxxxxxxxxx

FOUR DINNERS said...

"I've been watching the leaves blow in the wind,thinking of him and thinking of all the things he is going to miss. Things he will never experience and I think of how lucky I am. And it's in that exact moment, I am completely thankful for my family, for my friends, for all those that care about me. I am thankful for every experience I've ever had and every experience I will ever have"

"He certainly made a huge difference in a lot of lives. He was a good person, and a great big brother, a wonderful son. He will not be forgotten"

Doesn't seem fair but maybe that was his purpose?

captain corky said...

It's pretty sad stuff when a classmate or a person so young dies. I'm sorry for your loss.

Michael Colvin said...

You never forget this sort of thing. You will always think about him from time to time.

.:.KC.:. the brown eyed girl said...

It's getting better.
Thanks for the love, prayers and thoughts I appreciate it.

Heidi the Hick said...

This will change you.

You have the choice to make it change you for the better. Your heart is still beating. You are absolutely right to be thankful for what you've got. Never forget that.

I am sorry for your loss and disgusted at the way the school is handling the emotional impact of his death. It's like nothing's changed in 20 years. I hope they don't figure that you can tough it out just because you're technically adults. Grief is painful. I hate to see it smoothed over like that.

Prayers.

xo