Wednesday, November 28, 2007

I am feeling a little bit better today.
I actually made it to school.
Finally.
I had a minor freak out and walked out after only writing a quiz but at least I made it there. Thankfully, I only had one class today and it was only an hour long but I managed to make it to class which I feel is an accomplishment especially since my attendance has become more and more sporratic.
I ended up bumping into two of my teachers and had to sit down with them and come clean. I hate doing it.
My program coordinator keeps telling me to "squish my anxiety, just stomp it down." That doesn't make me feel better it just upsets me and doesn't help any. If I could do that or just make it disappear like magic I would but there is no magic cure for depression. You can't just squish it down because it only makes it worse.
Anyways I have promised to go to class for the next two days, no matter what. I have made this promise to the program coordinator and there are witnesses, so there are no excuses unfortunately.
I have lost what I wanted to say and I think I am mainly rambling right now. So I am going to go finish my laundry.

2 comments:

Biddie said...

I hate when people dismiss your fears. Pisses me off. For years all I have heard is that I should 'pull up my socks' or 'get on with it' or 100 of those other catch phrases.
If it were that freaking easy, then we all would, wouldn't we?!

Heidi the Hick said...

She's right. And I agree.

Get the the help you need, and don't let people brush you off.