Random Me and Stuff

I'm drowning. Sure, I know how to swim but I don't want to swim. I sink further and further into the water letting it fill my lungs and while I the thought of dying terrifies me, I have a great sense of relief. My depression is drowning me. At first, I was in a panic but now I am beginning to make peace with it. I am suddenly angry with every person who has hurt me. I am tired of lying to people about my little visit to the psych ward. An omission of truth is the same as lying. My sister and I don't get along. No matter what I do or what I say, I will always be an enemy in her eyes. Someone to fight with, to knock down with insults and verbal humiliation. I will never be good enough for her. I am at a loss, I have no plans to try and harm myself nor do I plan on making any plans but sometimes I wonder, would it just be easier if for some unknown reason, I didn't wake up in the morning. My heart is breaking and will soon be broken like the rest of me, so why not drown.