In the words of Salt 'n' Pepa,
"Let's talk about sex baby, let's talk about you and me. Let's talk about all the good things and the bad things"
Tonight, I came across an article about teen sex. It is based on a study of high school students male and female in grades 9 and 11. It discusses, peer pressure or being bullied in to sex. Apparently the article inspired some people to begin a heated debate on the topic.
Take some time to read the article and some of the comments then, I would really like to hear your opinion on the topic.
http://ca.lifestyle.yahoo.com/family-relationships/blog/anndouglas/761/high-school-confidential-27-percent-of-teen-girls-and-10-percent-of-teen-boys-pressured-into-unwanted-sex
My opinion is this...
Girls and boys can both feel pressured in to sex. Not all young males are the horny devils that many perceive them to be. Some boys can feel pressured or bullied in to doing "it." Boys too can feel scared, nervous, unprepared or just not ready. Some boys could be saving themselves. Just because they don't say it, doesn't mean they don't feel that way. Some boys are ready, some boys do have sex, some boys put pressure on their partner to have sex but this can go two ways.
Typically, we hear from girls about feeling pressured or bullied in to sex. Or using oral sex as a way to avoid intercourse. (Oral sex is considered sex too, it is still the action of giving a part of yourself to another person just like intercourse.) However, just as much as boys, girls can put pressure on their partner to have sex. Girls can persuade their partner into participating when they know their partner has said "No."
There is a difference between rape and what this article talks about - we all have free will, we all have the right to say "No," however our partners may disregard our feelings and find ways to persuade the opposite sex. Rape is when despite your best efforts to say "No" or fight the person off, they force themselves on to you. Rape can take place when one is intoxicated or unable to say "No." It is up to each person to voice their concerns but are we always able? Are we always willing? How comfortable are we with that person to really say to them "I'm not ready." As a high school student or young adult you don't always have the confidence to say "No" and really stand up for what we believe in. High school puts pressure on young adults in many different forms and this is just one of them, but just as much as a student should do their homework or study for their midterm, their parents should take the time to be truly open and honest about healthy sexual relationships. (And, for any young readers who have parents that are not willing to talk about sex, feel free to borrow mine. They have always been honest about sex and have never really held anything back....*cough*Shawn.)
Eventually, everyone will have sex, it is a natural part of life. We should teach children early on about healthy relationships and respecting your friends and eventually your partner.
Wednesday, September 10, 2008
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3 comments:
You know, I have always done my best to be honest with you about EVERYTHING. I think that kids making informed decisions will make better choices that kids that are left to their own devices.
I had no idea about sex my first time, or my second, or third or fourth, really.
I wish that I would have said NO more firmly and way more loudly.
I really have always admired your mom for being so honest with you girls, and I've been trying to do the same for my kids.
Also I'm glad you used the word RESPECT because I truly think that's what it all comes down to.
And, I feel sorry for kids who don't feel like they can talk to their parents. It makes me happy that at the age you're at now, you can say that you've got honest parents who have been willing to talk to you about sex. I hope mine always feel like they can ask me anything.
(I remember being asked, and saying, "I'll tell you, no problem. Are you sure you want to know?" She decided to wait a few days and think about it. Maybe they think they know too much already...!)
I didn't have sex until right about the time I was turning 18. I guess I'm a bit of a late bloomer.
I do intend on talking to my kids about sex and drugs and even rock-n-roll but I will probably look for some guidence on the subject matter. Especially about drugs. That feels like the toughest one to me.
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