Some Days

Just like everyone else I have good days and bad days. On Thursday, I had my weekly appointment with the chiropractor. Unfortunately,there was no movement from my right shoulder blade or ribs on the right side. If we can't have my ribs and shoulder blade move on their own then we need to look at alternative options. Due to the damage my shoulder had sustained from multiple injuries, my shoulder blade has slid down over top of 3 ribs. This is what is causing the majority of the pain. Every time I inhale or laugh, my ribs rub against my shoulder blade. If I stretch or move a certain way, you can hear the bones making a cracking noise from rubbing against each other. Gross. I know. I live with it every single day. It sucks. So Thursday, no movement. Disappointing as hell. We worked both shoulders and nothing. So now I was in much more pain and filled with an overwhelming feeling of sadness. I wanted to cry. I didn't. I think my psychiatrist has me on too many meds to actually cry. I think he thinks that if I start, that I won't stop. He may be right. I don't know. I also felt like I was going to throw up. Nausea and migraines are a common side effect when you are trying to move bones back in to normal position. It was a bad day. Yesterday was bad as well. It was the first day that I tried to go without taking anything for pain. I tried so hard but by 10pm, I couldn't hold out anymore. It was unbareable. I don't want to rely on narcotic pain killers for multiple reasons. One of them being that they are addictive and that is certainly an extra problem that I don't need. The second reason being that they are not readily available. It is unbelievably hard to have a doctor write a prescription for them, especially for someone as young as me. So it's best not to rely on them and take them in extremely painful situations. Today is a bit better. Minimal pain or discomfort but it's only 2pm and I have yet to truly accomplish something. I hope that today continues to be a good day because I could really use a break right now. Maybe today will be a karaoke day. I feel better after singing. I have no musical talent whatsoever but I always feel better after belting out a good song. It cleanses me and purifies my soul. That sounds like a good day to me.