Every day, my mom watches for the mail, in hopes of something other than a bill. And with the Christmas season upon us we all anticipate the arrival of Christmas cards. Today was no exception.
As we gathered around the pile of colored envelopes a horrid smell lingered on one red envelope and smacked us in the face. My mom ever so gracioulsy hands me the smelly envelope and says "Here, you can open this one." And since I had yet to open even one card, I willingly took the card and opened it. It was from my uncle TMOC. Also known as The Mayor of Crazyville. Now TMOC, has had several posts about him before. You can find them in the archives of Heidi the Hick's blog or Life or Something Like It's. You see my uncle TMOC is a rather interesting character with his obnoxious behavior, not so funny sense of humor and demanding attitude.
So, I opened this card to find that the image was runny and the scent was lingering along the card as well. As we checked the back of the envelope we noticed a small note that read "Personally scented by Ramona."
Ramona is TMOC's deranged cat, that pisses apparently everywhere. Yep, the cat had pissed on the card and the envelope and TMOC scent it this way even though it had been defiled.
Well, my mom and I burst out laughing because this was absolutely unbelieveable! My dad started in on a rant. A rant that included he has "seen crack heads who make more sense and what did we ever do to deserve this?" The ranting went on for over an hour and it included what my dad was going to do to get TMOC back. His plans included sending rabbit poo in a Coco Puffs box and anything else related to animal feces. Now, my dad wouldn't do this (I hope) but he was seriously upset and wanted to know what the hell goes on in TMOC's head. My dad also wanted to know what kind of idiot just doesn't go out and buy another box of 10 cent cards. A popular phrase today was "Why wouldn't you go just buy another box of cards? What do they cost $4? Here, I will send him the $4"
My mom and I couldn't stop laughing. I left for work laughing. I came home laughing. My dad is still not laughing.
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11 comments:
I do NOT want to know what goes on in TMOC's head. I think that he thought he was being funny. In his twisted mind, that's what passes for humor.
Jerk.
Anyway, I'm glad that you wrote this, because we both know that since he reads my blog from time to time, there is SO much that I can't write about. Thanks for picking up the slack.,
Your family has an interesting sense of humor. I can hardly wait to hear how your dad will respond. Keep us posted!
I am absolutely stumped for words...
Funny and a bit bizarre story!
Well, as someone who has actually met the Mayor of Crazyville, I can say that I am not surprized. Disgusted, heck yes, but not shocked!
Yeah, you don't wanna know what goes on his head. Let's just leave it at that...
BLECH! I have to wonder what all the other people who received cards that rubbed up against that one in the mail are thinking. Oh and that poor person who may have got a magazine with the fragrance sample inside. He/She could quite possibly be walking around with cat urine wiff thinking it's the latest and greatest from CK, Dior, or one of the many other top end perfume lines. LOL
I like your dad's idea of the rabbit dung in the Coco Puffs. Of course why mess around with little poo when you can actually buy and send big piles of dog crap right from your computer which are neatly gift wrapped and delivered. LOL
That's just nasty!
Some sort of retaliation is in order!
KC. Blog party tomorrow. My place. That's right, we're all going to sit at our computers and pretend to party!
Whoooo hoooo!
You are ALL INVITED! Just tell the bouncer that you're with the Adult in Question!
Will I get kicked outta this party? Cuz, y'know I've been kicked outta places before.
I would like TMOC to handle all of my correspondece from here forward.
Oh My! That is too funny! I cannot even imagine a person who would do such a thing!ROTFL
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