Dear TMOC,
I want you to know that you used to by my favorite Uncle. That I used to enjoy all the time we spent together. Remember all those weekends I spent in T.O. with you? Those were some of my favorite memories. We used to go to the Eaton's Centre and play at the arcade, eat candy for breakfast and stay up all night watching scary movies. What happened? What happened that we couldn't enjoy spending time with each other? What changed so drastically? I think it's because I grew up, because I wouldn't listen to you anymore. I think it's because I wouldn't let you hurt me anymore.
Remember when I was three years old and I accidentally mixed the play - doh colors together for your Fuzzy Pumper Barber Shop? I do, because you have never let me forget.
Remember the time we were in the elevator and the doors wouldn't close and the fire alarm went off? You called me a "fucking idiot" and accused me of doing something to make the alarm go off.
This Summer, you came for a visit and complained the whole time. You complained because we didn't have a stove, you complained that your sleeping accomodations were not up to your standards. You spent no time with us, until the very last day and then you expected us to drop all our plans to be with you. We did this, because you are our uncle and we love you. We saw "Snakes on a Plane" and we had fun.
You never acknowledge us, until it is convient for you. And when we have other things going on, when we can't accomodate to you the world must end. I must have forgotten that this is the TMOC show and the world revolves around you.
I love you TMOC, I really do but you say and do a lot of things that hurt me. You embarass us in front of the rest of family. You tell everyone the most horrible things about us, often times these things are untrue. You drink, you have a drinking problem. I know that you don't see it but everyone else in the family does and despite your actions we love. You have your nose so far up Nannie's ass and why? You stick around Nannie because she has money and you hope that one day when she croaks, you'll get a chunk of her fortune. You know all the things Nannie has done and yet that doesn't seem to bother you. She abandoned three of her grandkids, she abandoned her daughter because a better one came along. I love Lucky, but I guess since we're not the superstar Lucky or you we aren't allowed to be members of the family. To be honest, this never bothered me until now. You used to spend every Christmas with us. I know things are changing. I know that you are getting married. I love your fiancee. She has always been a member of our family. I accept these changes. I was looking forward to the wedding but after tonight, I don't think that there is any going back. I don't know if I can find it in my heart to forgive you. They say some things are better left unsaid and you should have followed that advice.
There is one person that has always been a constant in your life. That person would be my mom and despite all the nasty things you have said and done to her she still loves you. She still calls you brother.
My grandfather raised you, he loved you and he treated you as his own. I know that science says otherwise but you seem to forget who raised you. I loved Donnie too and I know that science says he is your father but why can't you have two? Two people who loved you. Grandpa had your childhood and Donnie had your adulthood.
Aunt Josie thought you were the best thing on the face of the earth, but she found out what we already knew. When you came for a visit you couldn't take a few hours to go visit her. She was so heartbroken. Do you care? I don't think you do. I don't think you understand how you make anyone feel.
I am sorry, that I can't be what you want me to be. I am sorry that you don't remember all the "Thank You's" or the "I love you's." I don't understand what you want me from me. You say that you are not perfect and that you make mistakes, that you are human, but how can you expect me who is also human to not make mistakes?
I know that I have done things to hurt you as well, but here is the difference. I was a little kid, and in some ways I still am. Truth is, I am only 18, I'm not finished growing up.
One day, this will all be a distant memory to you and hopefully to me.
Until then,
xoxo
Me.
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8 comments:
My own open letter to TMOC
Dear TMOC,
I love you very much. You are my big brother, and I have adored you from the moment that I was born. I have done my best to be supportive of you, and always be there for you. I can not imagine my life without you.
It hurts me when you curse at my kids, your neices. It hurts me when you try to cover up mean and scarcastic remarks as humour. It's not funny. You came to my house and you were rude. You complained about everything. You complained about sleeping in KK's room and having a flat pillow. You failed to notice, (or care) that KK slept on the floor so that you would be comfortable. You make scarcastic comments about nearly everything. You smoke in my house, even after I asked you not to. You used my dishes as ashtrays, which were then pushed behind the toilet.
Your cheif complaint is that my kids didn't thank you for your gifts? KC thanked D on the phone, twice. Shawn heard her. I'm sorry if D couldn't hear it over your yelling. My kids didn't thank you for their gifts last year, and it has been a bone of contention for you? Maybe you should have something 11 freaking months ago!
I appreciate every gift that is given to me and my family, just as I am sure that when you didn't even mention gifts that have been sent your way, they were also appreciated. It is hard to thank some one when they are screaming at you. You have damaged your relationship with your neices. It may never be repaired.
You think that my kids have a sense of entitlement?
KC helped to buy groceries this month. None of the kids are getting anything big or expensive this year. We opted for food and gas instead. If I do sometimes indulge my kids, so be it. They deserve a little extra now and then.
I am extremely proud of my girls. They have had a lot of crap in their lives, and have come so far. They are good and honest, and working on becoming wonderful adults.
Do you remember what you said when J was diagnosed with her diabtes? Your words to me were - Life is hard, get a helmut.
Remember the 1st time that you ever saw KC? Your words to me then were - Do you want me to hold up a score card?
No, asshole, just tell your 18 year old sister that her baby is cute. ANYTHING.
I am so fucking frutrated with you. You say that I always want to be right. Ok. You're right, my kids are ingrates and you rock.
Merry Christmas.
Biddie
My Open Letter to TMOC,
Leave the girl alone! Don't be an ass!
Geez.
Cindydianne
I hope you send this letter to your Uncle although I wonder how much of a difference it will make. He sounds like an alcoholic of which many are so wrapped up in themselves they cannot/will not see beyond their own needs/wants. What you see will follow him into his marriage and unless he gets some real help for his drinking problem, relationships will continue to suffer - and that spells big trouble for the new marriage.
Every family has an uncle or some relative like the one you describe...and I think most stay clear of them for their own sanity. It is sad to be sure!
That's too bad:-( Maybe the fiance will help to turn him around?
family can hurt the most
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