Thursday, March 04, 2010

Over the last week or so, I have been more than heartbroken. However, that being said he keeps making it easier for me to get over him.
We are finishing up the last of our issues.
As the days continue, I learn more about what he has hid from me in the last year particularily. It breaks my heart and makes me question who I was with for the last three years. I wonder who he really is or if he has just changed that much in three years. How did I not notice these things? Maybe it was because I was so completely in love that I wasn't paying attention to how he was changing. How he was growing away from me.
I will always have a weak spot for Spencer because he was my first true love but after his recent confessions, there is no possible way to fix things.
I don't understand how he could hurt me this way, especially when he was so in love with me. I was his Queen. I was the center of his universe and somewhere along the way that changed and it took me a long time to realize that fact.
I don't think I could ever forgive him. It hurts that much, what he has done.
How can someone change that much right in front of you? How did I not notice?
How did I not know what was going on?
I was too trusting. And I was right to be, but he abused my trust and confidence in him and our relationship.
Spencer was a big part of my life for a long time. But he was just one chapter in my fairytale. He is certainly not the end.

2 comments:

DILLIGAF said...

Good girl!!!

Proud of you!!!!

You go get a man worthy.

That is an order!

4D xx

Gabriel said...

I've been reading in silence, because I felt this whole thing is too personal for me to comment.

But I agree with 4D. You're doing the right thing. You will definitely find somebody who will be thrilled to spend his days with you and will treat you and respect you like a wonderful kid like you deserves.

Have a great birthday today, Kristy.