"That's Amazing"

I quit my job today. I left them extremely short staffed and stressed but I'm really not concerned. My boss was very angry and I didn't care. I know it's very unprofessional to quit a few hours before you are supposed to come in and work but it is also very unprofessional to refuse time off when one of your employee's has a severe family emergency.It's also very unprofessional to schedule your employees for ten days in a row with no time off because it's "christmas and boxing day."
I need a place of employment that is a little more flexible and willing to work with students. I also need a place of employment where my manager doesn't yell at me for every single shift that I work. In the last month, my manager has not said anything kind to me. She has yelled at me, made unprofessional comments on the sales floor and called my house more than three times in an hour looking for me to come in and work. I also don't need her making comments regarding my health issues or telling me that I am plus sized.
She was going to write me up again today and I really didn't feel like going through that process again today. So instead I quit. I have work placement in January for school and I still need to attend 32 hours of class a week. I need a job where I can work a few shifts a week and I know that every job has its own problems and stresses but I am exhausted.
So unfortunately with the job goes the awesome discount, but in the end it isn't worth all the trouble.
Look's like my schedule is clear and I can enjoy the rest of my time off.

Too much stress. I'm taking a break to enjoy what little time off that I have. Enjoy the new music on my blog!

My computer at home is bombarded with viruses and such so my mom and I may not be blogging for a little while. I'll try to do some posts from Spencer's house.

My last day with Prancer

Today is my last day of my third semester which means I only have one semester left and then I am thankfully done with advertising. I was hoping the day would pass without a run in with Prancer. We all know how much I love him.
I am sitting in the computer lab, stressing, freaking out and dreading the presentation that I am required to do this afternoon. I have prepared a powerpoint presentation, I am rereading it and memorizing it, hoping for as little embarassment as possible this afternoon.
So here I am minding my own business, when Prancer squacks at the girls next to me. Can I use your login? I am out of paper? (basically he has used all his print credit for the semester and can't print anything off and therefore has no assignment to hand in this afternoon.)What a shame. If it were me I would have said "No." but the other girls being polite and just wanting to get on with their own project unwilling oblige because he is already over here in their faces.
At this point he turns to me and says "K you have been miserable all semester, is something wrong? Do you have a problem?"
I was tempted to say something rude but rather than engage in a battle of wits with this jackass I replied "No, I'm fine. Thanks for asking."
I'm not thankful he asked, I want to punch him in his Archie comics look alike face but I am refraining. Although it would probably get me out of this presentation this afternoon. I mean he is such a bird that he would call the cops.
So, I am still here, punch free. I hope this afternoon goes by quickly because I am totally ready for Christmas Holidays.

Christmas Time

Tomorrow is my last day of classes/exams/presentations whatever you want to call it. I am so excited because that means that I have only one semester left. It also means that it is Christmas time. There are lots of Christmas specials on TV, hot chocolate and late nights playing Yahtzee with my mom. It also means that my mom and I can watch reruns of our favorite shows on DVD including Fat Actress, Buffy and Friends.
I can't wait for tomorrow to be over.

Slow Cheetah

Waking up dead inside of my head
Will never do there is no med
No medicine to take

I've had a chance to be insane
Asylum from the falling rain
I've had a chance to break

It's so bad it's got to be good
Mysterious girl misunderstood
Dressed like a wedding cake

Any other day and I might play
A funeral march for Bonnie Brae
Why try and run away

Slow cheetah come
Before my forest
Look's like it's on today

Slow cheetah come
It's so euphoric
No matter what they say

I know a girl she worked in a store
She know not what
Her life was for
She barely knew her name

They tried to tell her
She would never be
As happy as the girl
In the magazine
She bought it with her pay

Everyone has
So much to say
They talk talk talk
Their lives away
Don't even hesitate

Walking on down
To the burial ground
It's a very old dance
With a merry old sound
Looks like it's on today

- The Red Hot Chili Peppers

I've had a crappy week. Don't even ask.

7 Things You May Not Know About Me

CindyDianne tagged me quite a while ago and I am just getting to it now. She tagged me to list 7 things about myself that people may not know.
So here it goes:

1. My biggest pet peeve is when towels aren't hung up properly.

2. My favorite alcoholic beverage is the Lime Margarita. Frozen of course.

3. I collect everything Disney Princess. Including bed sheets most recently.

4. I love to play Guitar Hero. I am a legend of rock!!! Okay, not really but I try. (And it never hurts to be a legend in your own mind.)

5. I went to camp for three days when I was 14 but I got really homesick and cried to come home.

6. I am so into my appearance that I constantly change my outfit, not just once, not just twice, way more than three times a day. I straighten my hair until I think it's perfect, I have a makeup routine for every day, for work and special occasions and of course you always have to accesorize. It's no wonder people constantly ask me "how's the music video shoot going?"

7. I love to watch horror movies, but then I scare myself so bad from watching them that I can't sleep and when I do sleep I'm having nightmares.

I am feeling a little bit better today.
I actually made it to school.
Finally.
I had a minor freak out and walked out after only writing a quiz but at least I made it there. Thankfully, I only had one class today and it was only an hour long but I managed to make it to class which I feel is an accomplishment especially since my attendance has become more and more sporratic.
I ended up bumping into two of my teachers and had to sit down with them and come clean. I hate doing it.
My program coordinator keeps telling me to "squish my anxiety, just stomp it down." That doesn't make me feel better it just upsets me and doesn't help any. If I could do that or just make it disappear like magic I would but there is no magic cure for depression. You can't just squish it down because it only makes it worse.
Anyways I have promised to go to class for the next two days, no matter what. I have made this promise to the program coordinator and there are witnesses, so there are no excuses unfortunately.
I have lost what I wanted to say and I think I am mainly rambling right now. So I am going to go finish my laundry.

Its 11pm and I have to be up in about seven hours but as usual,I lay awake thinking. Thinking about everything and nothing at all. I have to be in class for 8am and then rush home around 4pm and leave for work so that I can be there for five and close the store at 9:30. I know that I am going to be exhausted and stressed and that is one of the things that I can't stop thinking about. And in the morning, I will be so exhausted that I cannot wake myself up despite having to hand in an essay, write a quiz and then give a five minute presentation on my essay. (As you can tell I am overly ecstatic.)
I hate this feeling I'm overwhelmed but I could care less about what is going on and how things feel like they are falling apart right in front of me.
I constantly have all these thoughts floating around in my head with no where to go, so I guess they go here. Typed on a computer screen in no particular order and as I write this I suddenly feel my desire to write and my motivation to put some brilliant thoughts in to sentences and paragraphs float away.

I have no desire to write.
Not right now anyway.
Sorry.

Just another day at the office

I just returned home from the doctor's office. I made another trip out there again. I'm still having troubles with my shoulder. I'm still in pain and it is getting worse. I can't sleep at night or I do but only for a few hours at a time. It's like having a nap. I'm in so much pain that I can't do the simplest things. I have a numbing pain that makes my arm feel like dead weight. I have a swollen arm that never goes away. I have a lump in my shoulder that cracks and rotates. It never goes away either. I have tried two different anti inflammatories. I have had enough tylenol in my life time that I should have an ulcer. I am becoming more and more depressed that I can't do things like wash my hair, put on my coat before I go out. I am 19 years old and I should be able to do these kind of things.
So I stood my ground this afternoon. I have done everything the doctor has asked me. I have been stretching in the morning, I have lost weight, I have taken enough pills that don't do anything. I am so frustrated.
I asked him for something stronger than tylenol because it isn't doing anything for pain. So he suggested tylenol 3's. Again, it does nothing but he won't give me anything stronger because I could be using it for drugs. He says I could get all messed up and do what sleep? That's all those pills do is make me sleep. I think I understand why some people turn to the streets for drugs.
He is so infuriating. I hate this doctor so much but due to the shortage of doctors in this city, I am stuck and the doctor knows it. He can basically get away with whatever he wants because he knows there are no doctors in the city.
I had to yell at him to get him to listen to me and then when I got louder he just hummed over me and what I was trying to tell him. He refused to listen to what I had to say about my pain, about my depression and then when he finally did answer me he said "If you don't like my opinion go to emerg and sit there." "Talk to someone there because they will tell you the same thing - there is no magic cure!" I never asked for a magic cure, I asked for something to ease my pain.
Eventually he did give me the reccommendation for massage therapy and physiotherapy. Then he gave me the prescription for Tylenol 3's. He told me he didn't care if I took four of five a day but he's not giving me anything stronger. So I have enough for a few days and when I run out, guess what I will be back at his office.
And I will be screaming at him again. And apparently for him, it will be just another day at the office.

Halloween Pictures Finally!!!

That's all for now, blogger is being a pain in the butt. It took me over 20 minutes to upload these pictures and it's being really painfully slow.

I wish I had 8 arms

because then I could get everything done at once.

OR

a doppelganger (is that spelled right?!!?!) who would help me get stuff done or take my place so I could take a nap.



Halloween pictures will be posted over the weekend. (Probably on Sunday because that is my only day off.)

The Great Costume Revealed

Thanks, for all the guesses as to what Spencer and I are for Halloween. Unfortunately no one guessed correctly.
While we did put some serious thought in to becoming Riff Raff and Magenta of the Rocky Horror Picture Show our budgets did not allow for this costume and we couldn't find a skullet for Spencer.
So the characters we are going to be this evening are....
drum roll please

Britney Spears and Kfed.

The only thing we need to decide now is if we are going to be prebreak up or post breakup.
I think we should be post break up and I can run around with baby dolls upside down and a bottle of Smirnoff vodka. I can also smudge some lipstick on to my face and carry around a dime bag.
But don't worry, I will be wearing underwear and pants.

I'll make sure that my mom or I post some Halloween pictured for your entertainment.


Happy Halloween.

It's the Great Halloween costume contest

Guess what? Spencer and I have finally figured out what we are going to be for Halloween, and it's mostly my fault that it has taken this long. I kept changing my mind about costumes the way people change their underwear.
We went through so many ideas. I'm going to list them and you have to try to guess what we chose. After everyone has made their guess I will reveal the answer.
Here are ideas...
First, Bonnie and Clyde

Then we thought about being Britney and Kfed.


After Britney and Kfed we considered being Marilyn Manson and Dita Von Teese.


We were actually going to go with this until I changed my mind yet again. In came the White Stripes.


Then that quickly faded because I changed my mind and yet another idea for us to choose from - WE COULD be PIRATES. I've never been a pirate before.
After the pirates I thought about a nurse and a doctor.
Cop and the prisoner.
That I had an ah- ha. Let's be characters from the Rocky Horror Picture Show.
We could be Riff Raff and Magenta or Eddie and Columbia.
But not Janet and Brad because I don't feel comfortable in public in my underwear.


After all of this I still had another idea. Spencer could be C.C. Deville and I could be his groupie. I could run around screaming "C.C. I love you!" yep, I could chase Spencer all around the place screaming "C.C."

So ladies and gentleman cast your votes in my comments section and after everyone has taken a guess I will reveal our costume selection.
P.S. Mom, don't tell anyone!!!!

I am in a pissy mood. Yes I am. I'm having a not so great day.
I fell asleep on the bus this morning. That upped my status from loser to dweeb in milliseconds.
Then I arrive at my 8am class, thankfully on time. When I get there I find out that it is simply a work period. Had I known it was going to be a work period I would have stayed home and worked on my sleep. So I surfed the net, facebooked, checked email, wrote emails...for three hours!!!
During my lunch period I sit with my clique from last year except we have all changed so much, that I'm not really part of the clique anymore. I guess because I don't hate my boyfriend, I'm not a single girl or the girl with the boyfriend that lives out of town I don't really fit in. Quite honestly I don't want any part of that. But what annoyed me the most out of the whole thing was that they were talking about how they were going to the bar tonight and it was girl's night and I'm sitting there and not once did they invite me. I would have declined anyways but I just think that is one of the most rudest things people can ever do. It is just so inconsiderate and disrespectful.
Moving on. . .I'm over it.
This afternoon was my media planning class where I had to hand in the beast of an assignment, write a quiz and do review for my midterm exam next week.
The problem with the whole thing is this...
It's a group quiz. My group members very seldom show up for class and when they do, they are late. They don't study and they rely on me for all the answers. They think that they know all the answers...seriously, they will cross out my correct answers and then write some made up bullshit. Then when the test comes back and we have failed yet again they are surprised. I really think that all their drinking in rez has killed what little brain cells they had to begin with.
I spoke to the teacher yet again about this because I am tired of doing all the work, studying and research and still failing. I'm not a model student but I would like decent grades at the end of the semester and this isn't helping. Each quiz is worth 3% which is a total of 15% at the end of the year. Let me tell you, four failed quizzes is catching up with me and I don't want to fail this course. If I fail this course, I will be forced to drop out of the program because I will be unable to continue until the following year. The teacher is "considering" what I have to say and she will "review the quizzes."
Thanks, because she hasn't screwed me over enough this year.
Anyways, I am home now, cranky and moody and here for my family's enjoyment. I have already apologized in advance.
So if you are done with my rant, feel free to check out yesterday's post. It's much sweeter.

Dancing with the Stars

Is my new favourite show. I only became addicted to it because Mel B of the Spice Girls is on the show oh and of course Cameron Mathison who plays Ryan on All My Children. I do have my suspicions that Cameron may be on steroids. He is so bulky and huge but he is body type isn't big enough to have that kind of muscle definition.


I watched the results show last night with Special Guest Jenifer Lopez who gave the most lackluster performance of the year. I don't like Jenifer Lopez at all, in fact she gets on my nerves, but at least she's not claiming to still be "Jenny from the block" anymore.I think Britney Spears on the MTV awards did a much better job and come on we were all expecting a craptastic performance from Britney.
J.Lo is known for shaking her booty and being an excellent dancer and she barely moved all night. Horrible singing, it really is amazing what recording engineers can do to one's voice or lack therof.

Mel B is becoming quite the dancer, it makes me wish even more that I was going to the concert in February. During the commentary her partner was so impressed that he was able to meet all the Spice Girls that he had no comment when Mel B asked if she was still his favourite.


The results show also highlighted Marie Osmond passing out after her performance from the night before, all the celeb television shows are talking about. Marie's excuse...sometimes she forgets to breathe. I'm wondering how the hell you forget to breathe but apparently it happens...to Marie at least.



The judges were picking on Jennie Garth last night, how can you pick on someone that cute? Seriously look at her.

They told her performance wasn't very good. It was a good performance but I have seen better. They picked on her last week too. They said that she broke one of the rules by lifting her feet off the floor. I watched that. Her feet were not off the floor, but Jane Seymore - her feet were flying off the floor. Or maybe I'm just saying that because I don't like her. In fact she is not aging well and she is quite scary. Maybe I should be her for Hallowe'en.

Anyways I can't wait to see next week. It's a rock and roll theme and they played Fallout Boy!!

The Run Around

I am very upset today. I have a client that I use for all my major advertising assignments. So far, she has been an excellent client, she has always been helpful and on top of everything.
Well, this month I have a new and very stressful project for media planning. It is worth 50% of my mark and has over ten components. 7 of these 10 components are due on Thursday. I had asked my teacher if I could use research from an assignment last year, for the same client but I would do a check up with the client and make sure all my information is up to date. She said that it was fine especially since I was doing this project on my own.
I had called my client about two to three weeks ago asking if I could use her establishment again and would she be interested in completing a 12 question review sheet to make sure my information on her business was correct. She didn't respond so I waited a few days and called again. She said that she would love to help me out again and that it would not be a problem. Last Tuesday I dropped off the document for her and asked if I could pick it up on Friday, it was only one page, so I didn't think that she would need more time. She said Friday would be okay. Friday I came to her business expecting to pick up my sheet filled out or at least checked out so that I could go ahead with the project. She had forgotten the sheet at home, I asked if she could bring it the following day, which would be Saturday.
Saturday I went to pick up the document and she wasn't there.
Sunday, Spencer went to pick up the document and again no one was there.
Yesterday, I went to see if anyone was there. No one. I left a message apologising that I had missed her on Saturday and when a good time would be to pick up the document.
Finally, this morning, her receptionist phones me and leaves a message.
Apparently, my client had left the document outside on Saturday because she left early and knew that I would be picking it up. The receptionist apologised and said that now the sheet was misplaced. Here is the problem , this assignment is due on Thursday, I have old information and no new information to back up what I am writing in my assignment. I have no time to wait around for her to fill out new information.
I am extremely upset because a portion of my assignment is blowing around downtown somewhere with confidential information on it.
I don't know what to do.
Should I ask for an extension until next week?
Should I just continue with what I have and hope for the best?
Should I try to find a new client?
I think I am going to go talk to the program coordinator and ask his opinion. Ask him if I should start over or continue with what I have. Maybe I should ask for an extension until next week so I can meet with my client and get some of the new information she had previously provided.
I really don't know and I really don't have time for this.

All I can think about recently is my classmate's death. I can't sleep at night,it keeps me awake. When I do sleep, I dream about him, the way I found out, the way he died, the funeral, everything.
I think about how many lives he touched in 19 short years. How many people are mourning him, how many people wish they would've seen him one last time.
My classes are continuing as if nothing has happened at all, no one makes any mention of him. The rest of my classmates have msn names that mention him, wish him peace, are praying for his family. It's been a week since we heard about his death, three of the men involved are in police custody, the people of the area are working towards cleaning the park where he was shot. But next week, there will be another tid bit of news that takes his place and the rest of the population will forget about him. But for now our advertising class is marked by his death we have had three or four drop outs, a girl leave and work on her certificate over four years because of medical difficulties and now one of our classmates is dead. I think our program is going to remain haunted by this tragedy and we are going to be the ones who will be forever affected by this because one of ours was shot and left to die in a park.
The media are twisting our words, sweeping details under the rug and all we the students are supposed to do are forward the media to the college. That's great because the college is handling this so damn well. It was not until Thursday that a letter was written on behalf of the vice president. A week after his death we get a four sentence letter with the vice president's email on it. We get a brochure on grief and then we are left to our own devices.
I cry for his loss, I cry for his family, I cry for his friends and I cry for all the things he will never experience. Some people such as Sylvia Browne believe that when we are born, we are also marked for our deaths. I don't believe that he was destined to only be here for 19 years. That's not even two decades. I think of how many things I have yet to experience, all the things I want to do, I think off all the places I want to go. I have so many dreams and I know that 19 years is not enough time to fulfill them all. I don't believe that he has fulfilled his purpose in life.
I've been watching the leaves blow in the wind,thinking of him and thinking of all the things he is going to miss. Things he will never experience and I think of how lucky I am. And it's in that exact moment, I am completely thankful for my family, for my friends, for all those that care about me. I am thankful for every experience I've ever had and every experience I will ever have.
All we have is this moment.

I have no idea where to start. I've been thinking about how to write this for a few days but I'm just going to write it and if it doesn't make much sense I apologize now.
Last Thursday, my classmate was in a tragic incident. He was shot once in the chest and unfortunately that one small bullet managed to kill him. According to the newspapers and everything else this was a planned murder. The four suspects went there to deliberately kill him. None of us knew...
One classmate found out when a reporter showed up at her dorm. Another received phone calls from various media all night. Eventually she had to unplug her phone.
She phoned me at work. I called Spencer, I called my mom and I cried a little bit.
My classmate wasn't just my classmate he was my partner for my media project this semester. He was the positive influence in my groups class last year. He was the one person you couldn't be upset around because he would find a way to make you feel better. He always found the positives in a bad situation.
Last year, when I was struggling with a few group members he was there, he helped me any way he could.
He was always smiling, he was always happy. He was my age. He was 19. I really struggle with this thought.
I find it so weird that someone I know, someone that is my age is dead.
He was a skating coach, he was a talented musician with two bands, he was a student, he was a friend, he was a brother and most importantly he was someone's son.
Today at the funeral there were so many people that they didn't have enough room to house us all. We were basically sitting in the rafters of the citadel. The majority of the class showed and so did the program coordinator. The college is making a donation in his name to the Salvation Army which is what the family requested.
I don't think the class will ever be the same. I'm afraid that this situation will hinder the class for the rest of the year. I'm afraid of the huge elephant in the room that we are all distracted by but refuse to accept.
But tomorrow is a new day and we will see how it goes.