Random Me and Stuff

I was sitting in my kitchen tonight eating dinner alone because apparently I am too loud and interrupting the ever important television show Law & Order when I had a flow of thoughts. Which is extremely surprising since I have been up since six am, was at school for six hours and just worked for five and half. I'm tired. I won't lie. I know that I am supposed to be writing my Crush list, researching Red Bull and writing reports. And the list of things I am supposed to be doing I can't be bothered with. Why? Because there are so many other things going on in my head and I can't focus and they all surround school.
I hate my program. I want to drop out but I don't want to be a cashier in a grocery store forever. I don't understand half of the material and I can't do presentations and unfortunately we do a lot of math and a lot of presentations. The two things that I could not do to save my life. I keep telling myself that the more I do this and the more I practice the better I will get but I haven't gotten there yet. I hate it. I hate not being successful, I hate not being the know - it - all. I hate the shitty marks I keep getting and I can continue to ask for help, I can continue to study and go to the library and ask friends for help but it's not making a difference. And I'm frustrated because I don't know what to do with my life or even for the next few years. I don't know where to start and I don't know how to make this end. I'm stuck in the middle and not in the fun way. I have about eight assignments due Monday and I have one of them done. I"m slowly sinking and I hate it but I feel as though there is nothing I can do about it.
So now that I have whined and complained I feel a little better. I promise that tomorrow's entry will be Wacky Wednesday containing my list of crushes possbily including my real life crushes.