Oh Gwen! When are you going back to your band?

There are many reasons why I hate Gwen Stefani... too many to count.
And it's a shame. It really is because when she was with her band NO DOUBT she rocked.
She was a cool chick but now she is Gwen Stefani, creator of crap.
And that crap includes her fashion line LAMB which stands for get this....Love, Angel, Music, Baby...oh if she were a rich girl. Her crap also includes her solo debut album titled Love, Angel, Music, Baby. More of her crap includes Harajuku girls which are girls that follow her around and are not allowed to speak to the public because and I quote from an interview I say on TV...."Oh you can't talk to them, don't ask them anything." Yes, this was her response when an interviewer asked her about her posse known as the HARAJUKU GIRLS. Her lack of use of a thesaurus and her unique fashion sense make her an easy target for my criticism.
Now to make fun of her lyrical genius...oh which song to choose first, there are so many. Let's go in order of her releasing them.

1. What are you waiting for?
"Look at your watch now You're still a super hot female You got your million-dollar contract And they're all waiting for your hot track" and my fav line..."I can't wait to go back and do Japan Get me lots of brand new fans Osaka, Tokyo You Harajuku girls Damn, you've got some wicked style" - Well I guess we now know where she got her posse and why...

2. Rich Girl
Stole some lines from Fiddler on the Roof... need I say more

3. Holla Back Girl
"I heard that you were talking shit And you didn't think that I would hear it People hear you talking like that, getting everybody fired up So I'm ready to attack, gonna lead the pack Gonna get a touchdown, gonna take you out That's right, put your pom-poms down, getting everybody fired up A few times I've been around that track So it's not just goin' to happen like that Because I ain't no hollaback girl I ain't no hollaback girl" Gwen this song is shit.

4. Cool
Okay, I like this song and it's decent - no need to pick on it.

5. Luxurious
This is Latino inspired...I think. That's as far as I can tell and in the video she holds up her Addida flip flop to the camera...What is that product placement?

6. Crash
This song is so bad that it leaves me speechless. There is absolutely nothing I can say. This song is like a car crash and unfortunately I have seen the video for it. Here's a taste of this crap she calls a song -"Drive back baby to me, fast in your car I'm here waiting, crash into me real hard."

7. Wind it up
This song I stole off the internet. Because I heard part of it on the radio and could not belive my ears. It contains yodelling. Apparently she samples it from the Sound of Music. I have never seen this movie all the way through but I would like to know when Gwen is going to come up with something of her own. She really needs to stop stealing other people's music. (And don't tell me to take my own advice.)

Okay, what next a full description of the Harajuku girls or her lack of fashion sense including her fashion line.

I pick Harajuku girls for $500, Alex.
First of all are you so insecure of yourself that you must hire a posse to follow you around? Second, why aren't they allowed to speak? They are people. Not your minions. You tool. Thirdly, why do you need them, do you really think that this is a positive image you should be sending to the youth? Also, why did you name each one and why did you choose the same name as your album and clothing line. Who can take anybody seriously with the names Love, Angel, Music or
Baby? I can't talk about this anymore. It is way too stupid.

Last but certainly not least... her fashion line or should I say, "Fabric that got stuck in the sewing machine stuck together and I call it a shirt line"Once again, she has used the brilliant name LAMB which is the abbreviation for ...don't make me go there again. I did some research into her clothing line. Okay, I looked at the attrocities she calls clothes. If you go to www.kitson.com (P.S. Anthony Kiedis shops at Kitson in LA) they sell her clothes there including her latest fashion line entitled Harajuku Lovers.

I am not a Harajuku, LAMB lover and I am no longer a Gwen lover. I will never be a Gwen lover ever again. I have no respect for someone who hires four Japanese women to follow her around and not speak. I will not respect someone who flat out says "Yeah I go to Japan but only to get more fans" and I will never purchase her album but I will steal it off the internet. Oh Gwen, if only you had stayed with your band - they were cool. And you have this whole fan base.

P.S. Once again Blogger has ruined my attempts to make a decent post and won't let me upload photos. I will try again later.