Thursday, March 01, 2007

Daddy Dearest,
I am finally writing to you. This is what you wanted is it not? You wanted me to call you daddy and wait for you to become a man. Wait for you to do the right thing?
When will that be? This is my question to you.
Why is that not one holiday or birthday cannot go by without you ruining it? Things were going so well and then you decided it was time for your annual visit.
I hate the way you do this every year. You make a time of happiness and celebration, a time of stress and anger and pent up frustration. I hate the way you do this to me time and time again.
I am tired of you following me around, coming to my school to "check up" on me. Do you remember putting my high school in lockdown? I remember that vividly. It was embarassing.
Get the hint, I am hiding from you. I am hiding from you because I told you not once, not twice but several times to stay away from me. I have asked you kindly, I have screamed it at you, I have written it down on paper.
This latest letter was the final straw. How dare you insult my family, especially my grandfather. Who the fuck do you think you are?
You are a disgusting, vile, waste of flesh and I wish you an eternity of misery. I wish you all the pain and agony you have caused my family over the last 15 years. I wish you feel this pain internally and externally for the rest of your life. I hope that you die a lonely bastard and that no one ever has to suffer the abuses you have committed against my mother, my sister, my self and the sibling you killed. Or had you forgotten that?
You insult my grandfather and brag about what a horrible man he was but I think you have it backwards. It was your daddy that was the child molester. I hope that fucker rots in hell. May you meet him there.
I will say this one last time, come near me or anyone I love ever again, you better get on your knees and start praying because this time I will not hold back.
I will no longer live in fear. I refuse to live in fear. I refuse to be afraid of you.
I do not want you in my life and I hope this letter makes it quite clear.
Signed,
your words not mine,
THE ADULT IN QUESTION.

P.S. Fuck you. One last time.

5 comments:

Biddie said...

I know that it feels better to get these things off of your chest. I just worry that you are in so much pain. Too much. Your birthday is nearly here and I want you to be happy.
I am so proud of you, KC. Your Grampie would be proud, and you know it. Don't let Rudi's hate spill over and affect you. You're too good for that.
I love you, Shawnie loves you, Heidi, Jethro, Gramma Lynn, Lynda, Aunt lucky and even TMOC love you.
Rudi is the loser in all of this.

FOUR DINNERS said...

(((((hugs babe)))) x

ldbug said...

Ah hon, I'm sorry. I hope that he leaves you alone. Maybe you should consider some law actions?

Anyway, for now, just try and enjoy your birthday and be happy! *hugs*

Heidi the Hick said...

I have struggled with a comment for this for days because it's such a deep hurt.

All I can come up with is that he's done nothing to deserve you. You are a wonderful person and he doesn't even know you.

In a way I feel sorry for him...but I can't fully, because he made his choices. Your mum's right. He is the loser.

And I do love you very much!

.:.KC.:. the brown eyed girl said...

I don't understand how someone who doesn't even know me hates me so much. I know why I hate him, but I have never done anything to deserve the things he has done to me. I really don't understand it.
I don't understand the remarks he made towards my grandfather. I think that is the part that hurts the most.
I really don't think I will ever understand him and I'm not so sure I want to. This whole thing doesn't make sense. I never did anything wrong ever and yet I am being "punished", can someone please explain this to me because I am really lost.