Then, I made a new friend and it's name is 100% Columbian coffee. He's my friend because he helped me survive my first morning class and gave me a good kick in the pants when I was groggy and ready to fall asleep - face smashed against the key board and a computer monitor blabbing on about QuarkXpress 6. By the way QuarkXpress 6 is the name of the new computer program I must learn....
After my kick in the pants, and one frustrating hour later I was faced with the dilemma of what the fuck do I do for an hour because I don't know anyone here. So I made like I knew my way around the school and wandered out to a picnic table where I made a list of things that I had been thinking this morning. That list included...
Why am I here?
I don't want to be here.
Mind you, it's all in my attitude, think positive....fuck this
I wish I was confident and had the ability just to walk over and start talking to people.
Those were just some of the things that ran through my head.
Eventually I saw someone from my program and we walked to our next class together. We had a class on the fourth floor and every single person we asked had no idea as to how to get there. I seriously thought this was some kind of joke that they play on the first years because even the teachers didn't know how to get there. Eventually, someone gave us the right directions. And when we finally arrived at our destination the class had been changed so we had to go right back to where we started. Longest version of musical chairs ever...
We finally settled only to get back up again and present ourselves to the class...yeah I forgot that I was being forced to take a class called "Presentation Skills" it sucked we had to draw pictures and then describe them and what they meant to us...I drew a horse, a plane and a picture of my family...
It looked like this but the picture of the horse was pretty amazing. I was impressed. Then I went and tried to explain my pictures. How on earth does one explain that monstrosity? Well I did very quickly then felt like throwing up because I don't do presentations well, so I guess that's why I have to spend about forty hours in that class. Back to my picture for a minute though...notice how my hair is unbrushed like in real life and my mom has a scowl on her face. J has big feet and K has a size zero waist...it's like in real life. Also, look at the size of Large man's head, if you ask me everything is to proportion.
After class, I had to go to the bathroom very badly...then one of the girls from my program gave me a drive home. We were bonding over loser ex boyfriends and parties.
3 comments:
Ok. I know Largeman, and he does NOT like an amputee. His legs are (pretty much) the same size. While J and K do have size 0 waists, I do NOT always have a scowl on my face. I much prefer the pictures that you drew in Kindergarten. I was always smiling and doing something nice, like cleaning out your hamster cage.
Also, there are a couple of other people in the house with large-ish heads...
School will get better. Remember when you were 5 and you broke your toe? You cried because you had to miss school. It'll happen again.....
100% columbian...hmmm, was his name Juan Valdez?
Oh, you had a wonderful day! That's pretty much how my first day of college went. ONly I had a meltdown on the street corner the night before because I didn't know how to get the bus and my newlywed husband didn't know how to get the bus and it was really bad. I don't remember how I caught the bus the next day but I guess I did, eventually.
I get the picture. The horse is something you've been on recently and the plane is something you want to be on.
And next time you draw Large Man, do the guy some justice. Like my mother in law said. King size. hahahahahaha!
Good luck tomorrow sweetie. I'm thinking of you!
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