The Friday Morning Pants Fiasco

Today I am supposed to have my interview with D, however she has not shown up yet...tres annoying but moving on to the funny stuff.

Last night I stayed over at Spencer's so I brought my school books, clothes, hair straightener of course and anything else I needed for today. Well I have been so scatterbrained recently that this morning I thought that I forgot my pants. Normally it wouldn't be a big deal because I would just wear the ones I wore yesterday except it was late when I came over and I went in a taxi so I was wearing my pyjama pants.
We searched his room because I was 100% positive that I brought my pants. Then I thought that maybe they fell out of my bag in the cab. Or maybe I did forget to bring them and they were still folded on my bed at home. I was laughing hysterically because who forgets their own pants? Seriously aside from me who forgets to pack their pants? (I always get myself into the weirdest, most bizarre situations)
So we decided that I would wear my pyjama pants and we would go get a different pair at my house. So I quickly finished my hair got all my stuff together then, I had a EUREKA moment.
I ran into Spencer's bedroom, opened the closet door and there were my pants. Hanging up right next to my coat.
I had forgotten that I hung up my dress pants because I didn't want them to be wrinkled for my interview this morning.
So I was a few minutes late this morning but at least I was wearing pants.
(I also think that I'm going to get some sleep this weekend.)

Work placement, it's a scary yet wonderful place

I started my work placement yesterday and I wasn't nervous. In fact I was really excited. I stayed at the college to work internally for my program co-ordinator's advertising firm. It was a good choice because it gives me the opportunity to get caught up on work that I missed out on, develop my portfolio so it looks absolutely amazing and better than everyone else's. Oh yeah, and I'm in a completely comfortable area and don't have to worry about transportation.
I have two projects that I am currently working on with another girl as well as my own assignments that I am behind on. I don't want to bring school work home though because our computer has been a mess of sorts recently. It keeps getting viruses and such. I would be so upset if one of my projects for school was destroyed.
It's a really great work environment because I make my own hours every single day of the week. As long as I am in by 10am every morning I can basically come and go as I please.
Also, this week is reading week so 95% of the students are not at the college. This means I can actually get a seat on the bus, I don't have to fight for lab time,and the best part - no line up at Tim Horton's. I can get my coffee fix as often as I want and I don't have to stand in line for half an hour.
I don't have to dress professionally except for when we meet with external clients which is very nice even though I spent a lot of money on clothes.
Now for the not so great part of the week. D one of my teachers was supposed to do a mock interview with me for my career planning course. She was supposed to do it on Friday but she ran out of time. We were supposed to do it yesterday, she never showed up. . .even the program co-ordinator couldn't get a hold of her. The co-ordinator advised me to send her an email. I did that. She hasn't responded yet, so the co-ordinator emailed her as well to remind her. Still no response. She had an important meeting with the co-ordinator and she didn't show up, no one could get a hold of her.
So this is what I am thinking...maybe something, some sort of crisis has happened and she just hasn't had the opportunity to respond to emails. But then the bitter part of me is thinking, well she has professionally responsibilities so she should at least email someone to let them know that she won't be at the college. It would just be polite. To be prepared, in case she decides to show up at some point during the week I have been dressing professionally. She can be flaky, and she sometimes likes to do things at the spur of the moment. (I have to dress professionally for the interview because we are graded on appearance.)I'm annoyed but it's not that a big of a deal as long as it gets done at some point.
I hope that this time next week, I am still enjoying work placement and that these things will be resolved.

I LOVE THE SPICE GIRLS

and there is nothing you can do about it. Last night I bought the Spice Girls Greatest Hits album and quickly uploaded it on to Spencer's ipod. (I'm borrowing it right now because my shuffle is suffering from technological difficulties and I have some really LONG work periods this week)
Anyways, I didn't feel like posting tonight but I found a clip on the internet from the Spice Girls concert in New York. I am entering every freakin' contest that I possibly can in hopes of winning two tickets to their Toronto show next week. I am also getting Spencer to enter every contest so I can double my chances of winning. Ha! The plan of an evil genius...not.
Anyways here is the link to the clip, Enjoy and may you all spice up your lives.
(If clicking the title doesn't work, you can copy and paste the link into the address bar etc.)

http://video.msn.com/?mkt=en-ca&brand=sympatico&fg=rss&vid=f869418f-cd50-40dd-89ea-dae65b073da5&from=imbot_en-ca_f_1824

Love me to Death

I'm halfway to reaching one of my goals...I went to school every day this week. Yay me! That's the good news.
This is the bad unrealted to advertising and my studies.
My evil stepsister is at the same college as me and it gets under my skin like you would not believe. She got everything from him that I never had. Why does she need to come to the same school as me. I know that she has the right to an education but she has never worked hard at school. In fact, she spent more time in detention then she did in actual classes. She skipped class,she was constantly arguing with teachers and peers. I have never seen her do homework. I've seen her throw homework out. Honestly, I never thought she would make it out of highschool. Not being mean but she is one of the dumbest people I have ever wasted time with.
I never wanted a relationship with my father because I learned at a very young age that his love was impossible to attain, not because he was closed off but because he doesn't know how to love. He doesn't know how to have a healthy relationship with anyone. I knew that being "Daddy's Little Girl" would never happen but I wished for it, I prayed for it. It never came.
I have buried everything from my past with him. Any memories I ever had were buried away. I had actually imagined his funeral in my mind. I had laid him to rest and had no regrets about never having a relationship with him. In my mind he was dead and I hadn't thought about him for almost over a year now until this.
I've bumped into her a couple times at the college but she didn't recognize me until today that is. She called my name and I ran the other way. I know that hiding isn't going to make it go away but it will prevent a confrontation.
I know that he has never loved my evil stepsister(s), in fact he has told me on a few occasions how much he hates them and his new wife, but he won't leave because without her he has no money. No money means that he has no more motorcycle and carpentry shop or any of the other luxuries he has had the pleasure of enjoying for the last 15 years. He used to tell me how sorry he was that he didn't have a relationship with my sister and I and that he loved me. It didn't mean anything to me and it still doesn't. Spending time with him in his home was hell on earth.
I always thought that if he really did love me, that he would help me out with some of the things that my mother sometimes struggled to provide.
In my lifetime (almost 20 years now) he never bought me school supplies, he never bought uniforms for highschool. He never helped with dentist appointments, doctor appointments. Nothing. When my sister and I were taking dance lessons that my mom and Shawn were paying for, he wouldn't drive us when we couldn't get there. He wouldn't help me with costs to play hockey...nothing. Any time I invited him to anything important in my life he made a point of not showing up, then later complaining that he was never invited to anything.
I know that money doesn't replace a relationship but it would have at least shown that he did care about me. This is more about him, that it is about my stepsister but seeing her around campus, on my turf just brings the past back to the surface.It's a constant reminder of the things that I had made peace with, that I had removed from my life.
The education that I had to work for, the education that has put me into debt about $10,000, she is getting for free. My "Dad" is buying it for her along with her mother and grandmother.
The worst part is that now that she has confirmation that I am at the college means that "Daddio" should be making his yearly appearance soon. Just in time for my birthday folks. How did he know that is exactly what I wanted? Confrontation with the man that I despise.
He provided for her and her sister, not his own children. The ones that he abandoned over 15 years ago. I think the part that hurts the most is that my younger sister actually wants a relationship with him and the evil stepsisters. She's even facebook friends with the evil stepsister but any time I mention it, it causes an arguement between her and I. I have lost enough "family" as it is and I can't really afford to lose more. I hope and pray that one day my sister will realise what I learned so many years ago.
I'm not going to let her stop me from finishing my education. I have struggled enough this year and I am working hard to accomplish my goals.I have overcome many obstacles and she is not going to be another one. I just wish that I didn't have to see her and I really hope that she doesn't have the moxy to talk to me because I don't know that I can cope with that. i don't want another speech on how much my "Dad" loves me and misses me because honestly, he will "love" me to death if I have to deal with his shit.
Sometimes it would just be easier if the past stayed right where it should - in the past.

The Mess I Created All by Myself and Goal Setting

It's been a so-so day to say the least. It's freezing cold outside. And of course my bus was late. I should know better by now but apparently I don't. So I was stuck waiting at the mall to catch my connecting bus to the college. I arrived only twenty minutes late but let me tell you that was the scariest bus ride of my life. I was praying to God like a mofo. The roads aren't horrible but they are definately not great either. There was black ice most of the way to the college and the bus driver stressing to make his next route on time was WAY over the speed limit. We smashed off the curbs multiple times and swerved into the other lane at least twice. But here I am I survived.
I went directly to my program co-ordinator not class even though I was late. I wanted to talk to him about work placement desperately. I have been so stressed about this and because of my depression I have fallen behind in school. It's a mess I created all by myself but a mess none the less.
We came to a decision/conclusion whatever you want to call it.
This is the game plan. . .
I will be doing my work placement at the college for my program co-ordinator. This means I don't have to go through the interview process and I still get to do the work experience. We have to do a minimum of 25 hours a week for five weeks to total 120 hours. I will be doing the minimum while I can use the lab to catch up on all my assignments. The program co-ordinator will help me get the time I need and get extensions to get the work done.
In the end, my concerns regarding failing the semester have diminshed which leaves me feeling A LOT better. With that sorted out, all I have to do now is keep working on the assignments I am behind on so that I can graduate.
Moving on, remember how I love copywriting. No worries, I still love it and even though I sometimes lose track of the purpose of the assignment I am still doing well. I received an assignment back today and although I had lost complete track of the assignment the teacher told me that I am a very talented writer. She also said to give it another try. That made me feel really good because my grades have slipped dramatically but hey I am a talented writer.
So the next thing on my list. I am going to share my goals with you. According to some author whose name I can't remember, it is essential to share goals with others because it helps you to achieve them in a timely manner. Not only that there are people to remind you of your goals and will encourage you to complete them. I encourage you to share your goals with others for many reasons:
1. It makes you feel better to know that someone else can help you achieve your goals
2. You are more driven to complete them because you don't want to disappoint others or yourself
3. You are more likely to achieve goals that are specific, written down, shared and have a deadline.
These are my goals from now February 11, 2008 until April 30, 2008.
-to get caught up on all assignments and achieve a grade of 60% or higher
-to make the committment to work experience and stay with it
-to attend every single class for the next two weeks until work placement starts
-to find the postitive aspects in everything that happens and to dwell less on the negative and more on the positive

Your goals don't need to be related to any one thing they can relate to a variety of things including personal life, work, health, family etc.
Feel free to share some goals.

I finally found out about my work placement. It's not as complicated as I thought. Still nerve racking though.
I'm not doing so well with my depression. In some respects it seems to be eating me alive. The anti-depressants that I am taking aren't really doing anything.
In other news though, I found my sponsor for the gala. So that is taken care of, one less thing to do.
I have some things to do for my portfolio, and a rewrite on my resume/cover letter.
But not much.
That's all that's new with me.

I've been meaning to blog for quite some time now but apparently the school computers have blocked blogger and by the time I get home my desire to write has wilted away to say the least.
And now that I am writing I am so unsure of what topic I should discuss first.
I think I am going to start with my trip to Toronto.
Spencer and I spent the past weekend in Toronto shopping and basically going anywhere my little heart desired. Plus we had tickets for the Ozzy/Rob Zombie concert. We did a lot of shopping at the Eaton's Center. It was mainly overwhelming and not as enjoyable as I remembered. We dabbled with the idea of going to the Zoo or the Science Center or the Royal Ontario Muesem. We didn't do any of those. It was freakin' cold as hell with the wind coming off Lake Ontario and I was too lazy to try and figure out the subways with Spencer. However we did go to the Hard Rock Cafe. I had never been and wanted to go oh so badly. Our server was pretty cool. He sat at our table and talked with us and he took Spencer around to see all the metal memorbilia. There wasn't much but they did have King's guitar. Oh and my fav part, the bathroom floors were sparkly. By the bathroom doors, there was a huge frame on the wall that contained autographs from celebs of course all on napkins or bits of toilet paper. Rather appropriate I thought. Most of the signatures were hard to decipher but I remember Patti Labelle's signature only because she took the time to print her name below her signature.
After shopping and hanging out in the Hard Rock Cafe we went back to the hotel to get ready for the Ozzy concert.
The Ozzy concert was good, he can still rock for an old fart who depends mainly on his wife Sharon because years of drugs, booze and partying have taken a toll and his brain. He was more entertaining than Rob Zombie who is a big freak show. Ozzy did an encore and played "Mama I'm coming home" which is my favorite song and he also played "Paranoid", which is Spencer's fav song. Zac Wild who I find incredibly annoying and full of himself did a 20 minute guitar solo at which point the boob cam came out. Women mostly soccer moms were showing their boobs to the camera which displayed it to the audience. We tried to get pictures of the soccer moms a few rows ahead of us dykin it out but the angle we were on was so horrible and they kept turning around. It makes me wonder if these are the same lovely ladies from the Poison concert or are they just more women who have no self respect, few morals and don't know their limitations in terms of alcohol and drugs. Hmmm.
Anyways back to Zac Wild the ego maniac. The waiter at the Hard Rock Cafe informed us that usually when Zac is in town he likes to come there for dinner except last year there was a minor problem and he may not return this year. Well he peaked our curiousity enough that we took the bait and asked the waiter what he meant.
Zac Wild came into Hard Rock Cafe last year and ordered dinner, ate, drank whatever. Well the bill came and he refused to pay! He was there out of his own choosing and was doing no promotion for the restaurant whatsoever. Well it was a big deal, who knows if he paid or not...but he caused quite the scene.
So that was the Toronto trip.
Now to tell you about my event planning class. I don't really like it. It's okay but it's three hours long after being in the computer lab for two hours prior to that on a Friday. That means ladies and gentlemen that I am not home until about 6pm. Gross.
The main focus of the event planning class is to plan the advertising awards gala which will be held at the end of term and will focus on the graduating class. It is also when we will be dispensing awards to the annoying overachievers who live and breathe advertising. Freaks.
Anyways, I am undecided as to whether or not I will be attending the gala. I have been putting it off for a few weeks now but I have to RSVP tonight with the number of guests I will be bringing along to this Casino Royale black tie event.
I don't really have any friends in the program , I barely scraped by on grades last year and I know full well that this event is for those who will be getting awards.
It also means that I have to get a dress and all that shit. As much as I love formal events, the dress shopping is stressful and makes me cry. Dressmakers consider anyone over the size of like 10 is plus sized. It's very frustrating because I don't consider myself plus sized. When I mistakenly went to prom it took me months to find a dress and when I finally did I was considered a 2x (which is about a size 20 in plus sized clothing stores) and it cost about $300. Granted I didn't pay for the dress but it was still somewhat depressing. I don't know if I should go or not. Will it be something I regret if I don't go? Probably.
My favorite part of this whole thing is that I have to find sponsors to donate money to the gala. Great now I have to call strangers on the phone and ask them for money so I can party like a rockstar. This is how I imagine the conversation going in my head.
Hello, I am The Adult in Question from blank school in blank city. My advertising program is holding an awards ceremony for the graduating students and we wondering if you be generous in donating a minimum of a $100 to the event. For any donation over $500 your company will receive free advertising at the gala. Such as, blah, blah, blah, blah...
Sorry, you don't want to donate money. Okay. Thank you for your time.
I don't really want to do it but in order to get I think like 15% of your mark you have to bring in one sponsorship with a minimum of $100. Plus, the more money we raise, the less we have to spend on tickets. Tickets are anywhere from $25 to $45 a person depending on venue and catering. And even the students have to purchase their own tickets to the event how crap is that?
Anyways, if anyone has any suggestions on the gala or the sponsorship I would be happy to hear them. If anyone wants to sponsor my event please let me know. That would be fantastic and I would love you for eternity.
That's all I have to say for the time being. I'm done my ranting.

♥ I ♥ love ♥ Wednesdays ♥

Wednesdays have always been my favorite day of the week but I love them oh so much more now. On Wednesdays from 1-3pm I have a copywriting class. I am so in love with it. For the first time since I have been in school I am actually enjoying a class. Really enjoying a class.
And unfortunately I only have this class once a week for five more weeks because I have to start work placement. I think that if I ever persued advertising afer school it would be in this field.
When the two hours fly by, I am left feeling empty and starving for more. I hate leaving that class and I hate even more not having homework for that class. As lame as that makes me sound. You can feel free to make fun of me Spencer and Liz (who is finally home now) tease me about it.
I don't think they understand the insatiable hunger I have to write and how inspired I feel to write. It's like suddenly I have a thousand ideas bouncing around in my head and nowhere to put them. I have words and phrases all jumbled in my mind waiting to pour out on to any blank piece of paper. For the first times in months I have been able to fill any empty white space with words or phrases or pictures. Ideas that come to mind, designs and everything else.
Homeworks assignments are dripping with doodles and jumbled words that don't make sense to anyone but me. Powerpoint presentation handouts are etched with designs, short stories and eureka moments. I have never felt as much desire to write as I do these last two weeks.
(My blog is a poor example though because I have not been blogging very much.)
I hope that when it comes time to find a work placement position it will be working for an ad agency in the copywriting department.

Oh crappity crap, crap. I'm sitting in my Web Techniques class and have no idea what my teacher is talking about. There's all these terms and what not that are making absolutely no sense to me. Sure, it's not the first time I've been in class and had no idea what was going out but it's the first time I have panicked about it. I missed way too many classes last semester and it shows so now I have to get my act together and pretend to know what I am doing. This web site that I am supposed to design is supposed to be all about me and become a helpful tool in finding a job in April if and when I graduate. Well, if it looks like the website I designed last semester than I am doomed.
Any ideas on how to create a professional and appealing website please forward ideas here because I have no idea what I am going to do.

Busy Day

Today was a pretty busy day. Spencer and I took Kayla to get her belly button pierced. She was so nervous and she had to wait for the three girls before that were getting their navels pierced as well. It took about an hour just to get a freakin' piercing.
After that we met up with Jessica to check out grad dresses. She hasn't decided on a dress yet but she still has some time.
Eventually Spencer and I got a chance to stick to the original plan which was to exchange a book my mom bought me for Christmas, go out to dinner and see the movie JUNO.
We went to one of my fav restaurants Moose Winoski's and then the arcade!!! Spencer and I ate so quickly because we had ants in our pants to go play games. We always play the super easy games so that we can hit the jackpot and get lots of tickets.
(on a side note for Heidi....Sportsworld still does not have a shit department but that's a whole other extremely disgusting story which we will have to tell eventually)
The prizes were all really super lame so we held on to our tickets to use for another day.
After winning about 600 tickets we headed into Future Shop so Spencer could look for an IPOD case for his new IPOD NANO third generation with 8GB. Yeah, I am slightly jealous. And to my surprise they had one of my fav shows on DVD on sale for Boxing Day/Week/Month whatever. Spencer bought me the first three seasons of Nip/Tuck, it's just too bad that tomorrow is my last day of Christmas Holidays. But at least my unemployed ass will be entertained for the next little while.
After blowing a good chunk of change at Future Shop we finally got to Chapters. I was able to exchange my book and get the 8th novel in the series. Luckily we beat the extra long lineup and made it to our movie on time.
Now for the review of JUNO. . .
It was okay, not fabulous. It was some what like Napolean Dynamite except it had a pregnant teen. There were some funny parts and I absolutely loved Allison Janney in the film. Other than that I would not call it a must see, you could wait to rent it and I'm a little bit disappointed that I chose this over Sweeny Todd.
So now it's off to my room to watch some Nip/Tuck.

"That's Amazing"

I quit my job today. I left them extremely short staffed and stressed but I'm really not concerned. My boss was very angry and I didn't care. I know it's very unprofessional to quit a few hours before you are supposed to come in and work but it is also very unprofessional to refuse time off when one of your employee's has a severe family emergency.It's also very unprofessional to schedule your employees for ten days in a row with no time off because it's "christmas and boxing day."
I need a place of employment that is a little more flexible and willing to work with students. I also need a place of employment where my manager doesn't yell at me for every single shift that I work. In the last month, my manager has not said anything kind to me. She has yelled at me, made unprofessional comments on the sales floor and called my house more than three times in an hour looking for me to come in and work. I also don't need her making comments regarding my health issues or telling me that I am plus sized.
She was going to write me up again today and I really didn't feel like going through that process again today. So instead I quit. I have work placement in January for school and I still need to attend 32 hours of class a week. I need a job where I can work a few shifts a week and I know that every job has its own problems and stresses but I am exhausted.
So unfortunately with the job goes the awesome discount, but in the end it isn't worth all the trouble.
Look's like my schedule is clear and I can enjoy the rest of my time off.

Too much stress. I'm taking a break to enjoy what little time off that I have. Enjoy the new music on my blog!

My computer at home is bombarded with viruses and such so my mom and I may not be blogging for a little while. I'll try to do some posts from Spencer's house.

My last day with Prancer

Today is my last day of my third semester which means I only have one semester left and then I am thankfully done with advertising. I was hoping the day would pass without a run in with Prancer. We all know how much I love him.
I am sitting in the computer lab, stressing, freaking out and dreading the presentation that I am required to do this afternoon. I have prepared a powerpoint presentation, I am rereading it and memorizing it, hoping for as little embarassment as possible this afternoon.
So here I am minding my own business, when Prancer squacks at the girls next to me. Can I use your login? I am out of paper? (basically he has used all his print credit for the semester and can't print anything off and therefore has no assignment to hand in this afternoon.)What a shame. If it were me I would have said "No." but the other girls being polite and just wanting to get on with their own project unwilling oblige because he is already over here in their faces.
At this point he turns to me and says "K you have been miserable all semester, is something wrong? Do you have a problem?"
I was tempted to say something rude but rather than engage in a battle of wits with this jackass I replied "No, I'm fine. Thanks for asking."
I'm not thankful he asked, I want to punch him in his Archie comics look alike face but I am refraining. Although it would probably get me out of this presentation this afternoon. I mean he is such a bird that he would call the cops.
So, I am still here, punch free. I hope this afternoon goes by quickly because I am totally ready for Christmas Holidays.

Christmas Time

Tomorrow is my last day of classes/exams/presentations whatever you want to call it. I am so excited because that means that I have only one semester left. It also means that it is Christmas time. There are lots of Christmas specials on TV, hot chocolate and late nights playing Yahtzee with my mom. It also means that my mom and I can watch reruns of our favorite shows on DVD including Fat Actress, Buffy and Friends.
I can't wait for tomorrow to be over.

Slow Cheetah

Waking up dead inside of my head
Will never do there is no med
No medicine to take

I've had a chance to be insane
Asylum from the falling rain
I've had a chance to break

It's so bad it's got to be good
Mysterious girl misunderstood
Dressed like a wedding cake

Any other day and I might play
A funeral march for Bonnie Brae
Why try and run away

Slow cheetah come
Before my forest
Look's like it's on today

Slow cheetah come
It's so euphoric
No matter what they say

I know a girl she worked in a store
She know not what
Her life was for
She barely knew her name

They tried to tell her
She would never be
As happy as the girl
In the magazine
She bought it with her pay

Everyone has
So much to say
They talk talk talk
Their lives away
Don't even hesitate

Walking on down
To the burial ground
It's a very old dance
With a merry old sound
Looks like it's on today

- The Red Hot Chili Peppers

I've had a crappy week. Don't even ask.

7 Things You May Not Know About Me

CindyDianne tagged me quite a while ago and I am just getting to it now. She tagged me to list 7 things about myself that people may not know.
So here it goes:

1. My biggest pet peeve is when towels aren't hung up properly.

2. My favorite alcoholic beverage is the Lime Margarita. Frozen of course.

3. I collect everything Disney Princess. Including bed sheets most recently.

4. I love to play Guitar Hero. I am a legend of rock!!! Okay, not really but I try. (And it never hurts to be a legend in your own mind.)

5. I went to camp for three days when I was 14 but I got really homesick and cried to come home.

6. I am so into my appearance that I constantly change my outfit, not just once, not just twice, way more than three times a day. I straighten my hair until I think it's perfect, I have a makeup routine for every day, for work and special occasions and of course you always have to accesorize. It's no wonder people constantly ask me "how's the music video shoot going?"

7. I love to watch horror movies, but then I scare myself so bad from watching them that I can't sleep and when I do sleep I'm having nightmares.

I am feeling a little bit better today.
I actually made it to school.
Finally.
I had a minor freak out and walked out after only writing a quiz but at least I made it there. Thankfully, I only had one class today and it was only an hour long but I managed to make it to class which I feel is an accomplishment especially since my attendance has become more and more sporratic.
I ended up bumping into two of my teachers and had to sit down with them and come clean. I hate doing it.
My program coordinator keeps telling me to "squish my anxiety, just stomp it down." That doesn't make me feel better it just upsets me and doesn't help any. If I could do that or just make it disappear like magic I would but there is no magic cure for depression. You can't just squish it down because it only makes it worse.
Anyways I have promised to go to class for the next two days, no matter what. I have made this promise to the program coordinator and there are witnesses, so there are no excuses unfortunately.
I have lost what I wanted to say and I think I am mainly rambling right now. So I am going to go finish my laundry.

Its 11pm and I have to be up in about seven hours but as usual,I lay awake thinking. Thinking about everything and nothing at all. I have to be in class for 8am and then rush home around 4pm and leave for work so that I can be there for five and close the store at 9:30. I know that I am going to be exhausted and stressed and that is one of the things that I can't stop thinking about. And in the morning, I will be so exhausted that I cannot wake myself up despite having to hand in an essay, write a quiz and then give a five minute presentation on my essay. (As you can tell I am overly ecstatic.)
I hate this feeling I'm overwhelmed but I could care less about what is going on and how things feel like they are falling apart right in front of me.
I constantly have all these thoughts floating around in my head with no where to go, so I guess they go here. Typed on a computer screen in no particular order and as I write this I suddenly feel my desire to write and my motivation to put some brilliant thoughts in to sentences and paragraphs float away.

I have no desire to write.
Not right now anyway.
Sorry.